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Thread: So Iím 17 heís 28

  1. #1

    So Iím 17 heís 28

    So heís a doctor and Iím studying to be a doctor also. He mentors me and we support each other in times of despair.
    We donít really go out much because heís sometimes busy but he does go out of his way to make time for me. He makes me so happy. When Iím with him I canít stop smiling. Weíre playful. But we know when to get serious. He just gets me. I canít tell him anything and he doesnít judge me instead he gives me advice. I love that. But sometimes I feel like our age gap and our paths will slowly ruin our relationship. Iím somewhat insecure and I always feel like heís going to leave me for someone else his age.
    But whenever I bring it up he quickly dismisses it and it makes him upset when I think like that.

    I just love him but I donít want to stick around then get my heart broken when I could have saved myself.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    What country are you in?

    Have you met his friends and family? How long have you been dating? How often do you go out on dates? How often do you see him?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    How did your parents react when they met him? Or, if you're not yet at the meeting parents stage, how did your parents react when you told them you're dating a 28 year old man?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    You're still a teenager and he's a man. End it now otherwise you're setting yourself up for disaster.

    Yes, you will end up used and with a broken heart. Don't waste your youth on a man who will use and discard you. You're better than this.


  6. #5
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Are you together/together?

    Look 10 years really isnít that big of an age gap. A 35 year old and a 45 year old, no one really blinks an eye because itís not that huge a difference, but 17 and 28... well thatís similar to 20 and 25 nbd 15 and 20 big deal...

    I donít know ow the age of consent where you live, in America its 18 and you have every right to date who you please, but due to the vast differences in where each of you is in life it wonít be without multiple challenges.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    It's unlikely that this relationship will go the distance, OP.

    You're at very different stages in your lives and are coming into this relationship with vastly different levels of experience. Relationships that start when someone is at your age usually don't last long-term. I know you like this man, but don't get too invested emotionally.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    He is likely emotionally immature for his age, hence why he is flirting with a 17 year old. Do you really want to end up with a grown man who is immature for his age? People like that tend to stay emotionally stuck. It is very likely that in time you will outgrow him. The "mentoring" is fine from a teacher but from a boyfriend it gets old at some point. When you catch up with him it's likely that you will see him for what he really is i.e. someone who cannot handle someone who is his equal.

    Imo, it would be a shame to miss out on the opportunity to date people your age and experience with them your college years to the fullest (a life stage that he is not part of).
    You will never get your college years back once they are over.
    Last edited by Clio; 02-29-2020 at 02:01 AM.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Honestly, getting your heart broken is the least worrisome of things that could happen here.
    I'd be more concerned that this could cripple your growth as your own person figuring things out for yourself and experiencing this phase of your life in its full range. The other thing I'd be worried about is pregnancy if you are sexually active with him.
    You say he is your mentor, but he's also a horny dude who I'm sure is interested in sleeping with you. He has power in the sense that you already look up to him, and he has the benefit of experience you don't. Those 10+ years give him a lot in terms of knowing what it is people like to hear, and how they operate. While you worry and feel insecure, he's got even more leverage over you.
    Know you are amazing, and he's not worth a pedestal. Focus on finding other influences and mentors who do not have a sexual agenda, and on just building your own self and life up with lots of experiences where you can gain genuine confidence.
    These types of guys usually go after those who are a little bit shaky in establishing independence and being on their own. They offer an " easy" alternative to doing the work on self, but you will just end up ripping yourself off if you go with "easy".

    I have a cousin who actually married the older man she met when she was 16. He's was late 20s at that time. She's my age, and she still can't handle being on her own. I find that much sadder than anything. He passed away, she has all the money she needs because of him, but she never got to figure who she is because he took care of " teaching her" for her.

    That's my long two cents.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    You're not dating, he's your mentor. If he's having sex with you report him to your school.
    Originally Posted by Jada8907534
    He mentors me
    We donít really go out much

  11. #10
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Surrey BC, Canada
    It is what it is hun, nothing can ever be written in stone....love and relationships of any kind is a crapshoot and heartbreak/pain is an essential part of life experience. If this is your mentality, then there is no way you are ready for an adult relationship with this man or any man.

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