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What should I do?


Blueka

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Around 2 months ago my girlfriend cheated on me and I made the decision to not break up with her and stay. She has a history for cheating on her boyfriends but with me being her longest relationship she says that she feels really bad about it and says she’ll never do it again. Whenever I bring up the man who she cheated on me with she often gets uncomfortable and says she doesn’t like talking about him which is understandable and I only mention his name if my friends are talking about him and I tell them not to as it makes me uncomfortable and if my girlfriend is with me I tell them not to say his name.

 

Anyways, since then I have developed some trust issues and no matter how much I tell myself she isn’t going to do it again I still find myself worrying about her and worrying if she’s doing anything planning to do other stuff with other boys that would be considered cheating. She could be talking to a boy through social media and I get anxious and find myself thinking about whether or not she has talked to him and wanted to do anything with him.

 

She also said to one of my friends that even though she feels good being with me, she does wish she was single sometimes which makes me think does she want to do stuff with other people (cheat) but cant as she feels restricted because of me?

 

How should I go about this? I’ve talked to her about how I feel about all of this but I still feel like there’s no guarantee she won’t do it again as when I found out she cheated on me there were no signs she had been doing that and I thought the relationship was absolutely perfect until it crumbled onto me when I found out the truth.

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Sorry to hear this. You need to end it. She wants to be single. Are you sure you are dating and not just friends or fwb? It's become a cat-and-mouse game. It's bringing out the green-eyed monster in you. You need to date women with integrity and have the exclusive conversation or get rid of them. Stop trying to turn trash into treasures..

she does wish she was single sometimes which makes me think does she want to do stuff with other people. I still feel like there’s no guarantee she won’t do it again.
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I suggest going to look up the story of 'The Scorpion and the Frog'. No matter what relationship she is in, what clothes she wears, what church she subscribes to, at heart you can't take a cheater our of the cheater. It's not that she longs to hurt people by cheating on them, it's that she core belief is freedom and being restricted just bottles up the desires that is released when someone pays attention to her.

 

Set her free to live in her way and become someone's cheating problem.

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Of course she doesn't want to talk about the other guy. It makes her feel bad because she is a selfish person. So instead of trying to be a better person, everyone else has to watch what they say.

 

You are helping her feel better, but she's the one that hurt you!

 

Of course you feel nervous. She can't be trusted. She is making a fool out of you. She is the one that cheated. You dont have to do anything for her comfort.

 

She was a cheater in her past relationships, she is a cheater in her current relationship, she will probably cheat in the next.

 

You're playing yourself, if you stay with this woman. Create hard boundaries for cheating, lying, & abuse. Its the only way to stop it.

 

Sorry to say, but you need to wise up.

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She cheated before, she will cheat again tomorrow. This is who she is and you know this. So, are you good with being cheated on? If yes, carry on and know that yes, she will cheat again and again. If that's not good for you, then dump her with extreme prejudice. You can't turn a cheating pig into a loyal princess.

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She has a history for cheating on her boyfriends but with me being her longest relationship she says that she feels really bad about it and says she’ll never do it again
Said every chronic cheater out there who manages to hook up with someone with low self worth.

 

Buddy, get yourself away from this woman. She is clearly incapable of monogamy so if you're going to stay you best suggest an open relationship where there are mutually agreed to rules and boundaries to your play time or you are going to be cheated on as a lifestyle. If you're going to stay with the likes of her then you should be allowed to get with your own 'strange.'

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I have developed some trust issues

Just wanted to point out your choice of words. You didn't develop an issue with trust. The choice of words suggest you taking on the responsibility when it belongs to on her.

 

You don't have some mysterious problem trusting that came over you.

She is not to be trusted. She ruined that trust by cheating.

 

Be predictor of future behavior is past behavior - Dr Phil

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Really?

Does she have you wrapped around her finger that tightly that you cannot see that she is a selfish person that does what ever she wants with no regard for the person she is in a relationship with.

 

You wondered if there is a guarantee about her cheating again. Here is your answer. I 100% guarantee she will cheat again on you if she isn't already. That one guy is the only one you caught her on, there are probably more...

 

Get some self esteem, see her for who she really is and realize being alone is way better than being with her. At least alone you don't have to worry what STD's she is bring home to you.

 

Listen to us, you are not special to her. She will cheat again.

 

Lost

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