Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 14

Thread: What should I do?

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Posts
    1

    What should I do?

    Around 2 months ago my girlfriend cheated on me and I made the decision to not break up with her and stay. She has a history for cheating on her boyfriends but with me being her longest relationship she says that she feels really bad about it and says she’ll never do it again. Whenever I bring up the man who she cheated on me with she often gets uncomfortable and says she doesn’t like talking about him which is understandable and I only mention his name if my friends are talking about him and I tell them not to as it makes me uncomfortable and if my girlfriend is with me I tell them not to say his name.

    Anyways, since then I have developed some trust issues and no matter how much I tell myself she isn’t going to do it again I still find myself worrying about her and worrying if she’s doing anything planning to do other stuff with other boys that would be considered cheating. She could be talking to a boy through social media and I get anxious and find myself thinking about whether or not she has talked to him and wanted to do anything with him.

    She also said to one of my friends that even though she feels good being with me, she does wish she was single sometimes which makes me think does she want to do stuff with other people (cheat) but cant as she feels restricted because of me?

    How should I go about this? I’ve talked to her about how I feel about all of this but I still feel like there’s no guarantee she won’t do it again as when I found out she cheated on me there were no signs she had been doing that and I thought the relationship was absolutely perfect until it crumbled onto me when I found out the truth.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    40,357
    Gender
    Male
    Sorry to hear this. You need to end it. She wants to be single. Are you sure you are dating and not just friends or fwb? It's become a cat-and-mouse game. It's bringing out the green-eyed monster in you. You need to date women with integrity and have the exclusive conversation or get rid of them. Stop trying to turn trash into treasures..
    Originally Posted by Blueka
    she does wish she was single sometimes which makes me think does she want to do stuff with other people. I still feel like there’s no guarantee she won’t do it again.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    London, UK
    Age
    48
    Posts
    3,215
    Gender
    Male
    I suggest going to look up the story of 'The Scorpion and the Frog'. No matter what relationship she is in, what clothes she wears, what church she subscribes to, at heart you can't take a cheater our of the cheater. It's not that she longs to hurt people by cheating on them, it's that she core belief is freedom and being restricted just bottles up the desires that is released when someone pays attention to her.

    Set her free to live in her way and become someone's cheating problem.

  4. #4
    drop her :)

  5.  

  6. #5
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    Posts
    933
    Gender
    Female
    Once a cheater, always a cheater. And once trust is lost, it's very very very very hard to get back.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    N/A
    Posts
    2,981
    Of course she doesn't want to talk about the other guy. It makes her feel bad because she is a selfish person. So instead of trying to be a better person, everyone else has to watch what they say.

    You are helping her feel better, but she's the one that hurt you!

    Of course you feel nervous. She can't be trusted. She is making a fool out of you. She is the one that cheated. You dont have to do anything for her comfort.

    She was a cheater in her past relationships, she is a cheater in her current relationship, she will probably cheat in the next.

    You're playing yourself, if you stay with this woman. Create hard boundaries for cheating, lying, & abuse. Its the only way to stop it.

    Sorry to say, but you need to wise up.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    14,444
    First you said "man" then you said "boy". Are you two teenagers? Just trying to get some context.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Wilds of Texas
    Posts
    11,211
    Gender
    Female
    She cheated before, she will cheat again tomorrow. This is who she is and you know this. So, are you good with being cheated on? If yes, carry on and know that yes, she will cheat again and again. If that's not good for you, then dump her with extreme prejudice. You can't turn a cheating pig into a loyal princess.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    N/A
    Posts
    2,981
    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    You can't turn a cheating pig into a loyal princess.
    Add this to that hall of fame quotes thread!

  11. #10
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    14,632
    Gender
    Female
    She has a history for cheating on her boyfriends but with me being her longest relationship she says that she feels really bad about it and says she’ll never do it again
    Said every chronic cheater out there who manages to hook up with someone with low self worth.

    Buddy, get yourself away from this woman. She is clearly incapable of monogamy so if you're going to stay you best suggest an open relationship where there are mutually agreed to rules and boundaries to your play time or you are going to be cheated on as a lifestyle. If you're going to stay with the likes of her then you should be allowed to get with your own 'strange.'

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Videos


Maintaining A Strong Relationship

Detaching From a Malignant Man

Divorced Parents Prefer Technology and Social Media As Communication Tool

Wedding Jitters Could Be a Predictor for a Future Divorce

Botox Fights Depression And Makes You Feel Happier

Men Are More Sensitive than Women when Having Relationship Problems
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •