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Thread: Do I stay or do I go?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    I can see why you are conflicted. When I was reading the negatives you listed, I was thinking maybe you aren't compatible.

    Then I read the positives... the sex didn't seem like the only thing to me. I get what you meant about having each other's back and the support, especially losing your mom. When you go through hard times, you see who really cares.

    Maybe you guys are the picture of opposites attract. IDK. But sounds like you have some serous soul searching to do. And you have to determine if her lack of ambition, pot head ways and lack of common interests are deal breakers.

    I personally don't mind if my partner has separate interests... but here's the thing: I'm very independent. I can, will, and do like to occupy my own time on regular basis.

    But if you want a dance partner and to be a power couple with an equally ambitious partner, then you might be leaning towards ending it.

    Good luck!

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Being a pothead in itself should be a dealbreaker. It's money that could be spent on better things. If there is an emergency, and she's expected to bring you to the emergency room or if you had kids and the school called and said they were sick, what if she's high and it's unsafe for her to drive? Many jobs test for drugs. Her choice in jobs will be limited. Her mind is already being altered into dementia territory. She's choosing to harm herself, and then everyone else around her is affected as well.

    The first year is new and exciting. What bothers you now will quadruple when that newness fades and you get more years under your belt.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    After reading your other threads I'm going to suggest that maybe you are reluctant to leave her because of fear of being alone and a reluctance to have to go through all the dating to find someone that you seemed to have to go to prior to meeting your current and dysfunctional partner.

    You know that the answer is that it's better to be alone then to suffer through trying to accept her as she is. Clearly you are unable to accept the who that she is and be happy so get yourself out, heal and then start to enjoy your next adventure in dating rather than going in with expectations.

    Originally Posted by Jack3d
    i knew i couldn't come here for well thought out advice. Never could, ever.
    Perhaps if you went in not expecting to hear what you want to hear and instead listen to what you are being advised and inner reflect on it, you'd be more satisfied with what you ARE hearing.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Well, think of what lead to your first breakup, then learn from how well things improved after you got back together--and how long that may have lasted.

    Point: don't use breakups as a device to change what you want changed. If it works at all, it doesn't work for long, and then you'll just be taken for granted because your definition of drawing a line means nothing.

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