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Thread: Have been in love with this guy for 11 years

  1. #1

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    Have been in love with this guy for 11 years

    I have been in love with this guy from my school ever since I was a teenager. We were acquaintances in school but haven't been in touch after that. A few months ago I started talking to him through fb. We chatted 2-3 times. It's always me who initiates the conversation but he always replies to my texts. A month ago I told him about my feelings (that I love him for that last 11 years) and asked him out. He replied that he appreciates the fact that I told him about my feelings and will let me know when he is free so that we can meet. But it's been more than a month and I haven't heard from him again. I am so confused and hurt. Please tell me what to do.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Sachi
    I have been in love with this guy from my school ever since I was a teenager. We were acquaintances in school but haven't been in touch after that. A few months ago I started talking to him through fb. We chatted 2-3 times. It's always me who initiates the conversation but he always replies to my texts. A month ago I told him about my feelings (that I love him for that last 11 years) and asked him out. He replied that he appreciates the fact that I told him about my feelings and will let me know when he is free so that we can meet. But it's been more than a month and I haven't heard from him again. I am so confused and hurt. Please tell me what to do.
    You've held onto a crush for 11 years, only to find he isn't interested, now you are hurt and confused? You're in your late 20s, why is being rejected confusing? So, what to do? Go talk to someone else.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Are you or he in a relationship? What prompted you to look him up after all this time? Did you recently get divorced/break up? He may have found this admission a bit creepy. 11 years, a high school crush and hunting him down, then telling a virtual stranger you are in love with him is something that may have taken him by surprise.

    Roll this back and get involved in your real life. Focus on your work, classes, courses, your interests, join some clubs and groups, volunteer. Get on some quality dating apps with a nice profile and pics and start messaging and meeting men. Get to a doctor for an evaluation and referral to a therapist. Discuss what is going on with you and why you reached out to a stranger and told him this.
    Originally Posted by Sachi
    We were acquaintances in school but haven't been in touch after that. .A month ago I told him about my feelings (that I love him for that last 11 years) and asked him out. it's been more than a month and I haven't heard from him again.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    I'm sorry rejection does hurt. As for what you do? You finally let go of a childhood fantasy you've built up around this guy and move on. Focus on your friends or getting new ones, hobbies, work, dating and getting to know others in real life. No more fantasies about a guy you really don't know and never really did.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    He's not interested. Move on. You had a fantasy for 11 yrs and nothing is going to come of it.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Sachi
    I have been in love with this guy from my school ever since I was a teenager. We were acquaintances in school but haven't been in touch after that. A few months ago I started talking to him through fb. We chatted 2-3 times. It's always me who initiates the conversation but he always replies to my texts. A month ago I told him about my feelings (that I love him for that last 11 years) and asked him out. He replied that he appreciates the fact that I told him about my feelings and will let me know when he is free so that we can meet. But it's been more than a month and I haven't heard from him again. I am so confused and hurt. Please tell me what to do.
    Well, now that you know he doesn't like you the way you've fantasized about him, you can put your crush out of your head and get on with focusing on meeting a man that actually wants to be with you. If he was into you, believe me he wouldn't have waited a month to let you know... He would have met you right away knowing you were a sure thing.

    Time to put your fantasy to bed and do the mental work you need to do to get to the stage of indifference to him. Stop texting him. The fact you've held onto this crush for 11 year is rather an immature way of viewing love and romance. Perhaps you would do well to get yourself with a life coach or a therapist to figure out why you would do all this to Yourself.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    His lack of actions speak louder than years. Don't waste anymore time and energy on him. Take a hint and move on.

  9. #8

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    Thank you guys for your replies. I have realized that I have wasted 11 years of my life and I have to move on now. I had fallen in love with the wrong person and nothing good has come out of it. I'll try to keep myself busy with my friends and hobbies.


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