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Thread: "lets start being Facebook friends"

  1. #1

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    "lets start being Facebook friends"

    Recently I started a seasonal job and in process i met this girl. She is one of the leads at the workplace. The workplace environment is pretty hectic and its hard to find free time to actually talk to people, as its a fast pace work environment. About 3 weeks ago i introduced myself to her and we had small talk. We didnt have that instant connection. I think part of it because i was nervous and I think she was too. Due to me getting nervous, i felt that i wasnt myself around her. I think she noticed and it did make things little awkward. I decided that i would just try to continue to get to know her. last week we started talking more with each other, and would even sat down with each other during breaks and lunch. our conversations became more natural but at times i would still get nervous. due to my shyness. This past week i noticed that she would make more of an effort to talk to me when she was able to, and started to have some connection in our conversations. i felt like we were just starting to be comfortable with each other and started building a friendship. most of our conversations we had were doing down time and breaks sometimes, but it hasnt been very much. as i feel we are in the beginning stages of knowing who we are.

    couple of days ago i was informed that i was going to be laid off from my job, since it was seasonal. the last two days i have tried to be around her as much as we could and at the same time was hoping to find the right opportunity to get her number so we can stay in touch after i was let go of my job. in normal circumstances i would have waited for the right timing, but with the fact that i was under pressure of me being let go of my job, i felt like i needed to ask, and i was running out of time.

    right before i was let go, i was able to find a moment to ask her. i suggested that i would like to hang out with her and get to know her more. she paused for a moment(which seemed for ever) and asked me, what do you mean? i then i stated that it would be fun to hang out and try to get to know each other more. ...she paused again and was thinking.. then she said, " how about we do this, lets start being Facebook friends". at that moment, since she paused, the situation was very awkward. I didn't know what to say. she asked if thats ok? and i agreed. I then asked her what was her last name, since i only knew her by first name. she wrote her name on a piece of paper. i then told her, cool, will talk later. She was busy and i had to go back to my assignment, as i walked away. it was awkward moment..not was i was planning. as i thougtt she would be more interested. i was shocked with her response and how she responded. Shortly thereafter, like 20 min later Hr walked me out and i wasnt able to say by to her...

    i have messanager, but i dont have facebook. i have thought about writing a message to her and let he know (sorry) if i made her feel awkward, that it wasnt my intentions. All i wanted to do is get an contact number , so we can keep talking and keep building on our friendship.

    based on my experience i know that when a girl says "friends" usually that means she doesnt want more or is in the place.but then again my intentions wasn't asking her on a date or anthing, and i wonder if thats how she understood it. due to the short time we have gotten to know each other, do i proceed to be "facebook friends" or should i just leave her alone and move on. i hate to end a relationship the way we did. i am attracted to her, but at the same time i just want to get to know her and see if anything can build from what we have now. how should i proceed???????

  2. #2
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
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    I think sending the message is a good idea. If she didnt want contact from you she wouldnt have suggested FB friends.
    Just keep it friendly and see what happens.

  3. #3
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    I think she just suggested the facebook thing because she didn't want to come out and say she didn't want to date him.

    Join facebook and send her a note, but don't expect her to be excited over it.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    She took so long to decide what to do with you. It sounds like she's leery about having a friendship or relationship with you. She's remaining cautious or simply uninterested in you. Some people are like that. They're not interested in you or anyone in particular.

    Since FB is all she is willing to offer, contact her via messenger. If you perceive that she's not interested in you, don't pursue a friendship and drop it. No one wants to be hounded.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Unfortunately she is distancing herself yet trying to be friendly. She understood it correctly, and politely declined. Stay in touch via social media if you wish, but she may have a bf or simply is not interested in hanging out.
    Originally Posted by djman
    i then i stated that it would be fun to hang out and try to get to know each other more. ...she paused again and was thinking.. then she said, " how about we do this, lets start being Facebook friends". i am attracted to her,

  7. #6

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    Thank you everyone for your responses. Sometimes when you are mixed with emotions, or are in the moment, it is hard to make rational decisions. I do appreciate your feedback. I decided to send her a message through messenger and wished her luck with the future. Obviously, she isnt in to me as much as i might have thought. I should have stayed with my gut instinct, but when she made a lot more effort to talk to me and to be around me during breaks, it made me think twice about the whole situation. but for whatever reason she has, she just didnt want anything from it. which i am ok with. it sucks but i can easily move on. thank you once again everyone for your thoughts.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by djman
    Thank you everyone for your responses. Sometimes when you are mixed with emotions, or are in the moment, it is hard to make rational decisions. I do appreciate your feedback. I decided to send her a message through messenger and wished her luck with the future. Obviously, she isnt in to me as much as i might have thought. I should have stayed with my gut instinct, but when she made a lot more effort to talk to me and to be around me during breaks, it made me think twice about the whole situation. but for whatever reason she has, she just didnt want anything from it. which i am ok with. it sucks but i can easily move on. thank you once again everyone for your thoughts.
    Yeah, if you're not feeling it and she's not into you, your gut instincts are right on the mark. I know it's disappointing but that's life. Soldier on.

  9. #8
    Silver Member Spawn's Avatar
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    your gut is spot on, go with it


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