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Thread: Am I to blame? Don't know how to go from here.

  1. #1
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    Am I to blame? Don't know how to go from here.

    Bit of a back ground.
    Three year relationship, which ended one year ago. It was mutual however my gf suggested it and we had been having problems for a while. She stopped wanting to see me, wouldn't talk when out. I tried to talk abiut things but I would just get 'don't worry'. No matter what I tried to fix things she didn't seem too invested. Even at Xmas it was tough to see her, until I eventually got her out and she asked to go home early :( then got bombarded with texts apologising for it afterwards.

    We broke up and after a while of on and off speaking she starts to ignore me, which hurt a lot. She would then come back and after a while of talking I asked to meet up, coffee, drink etc. She told she wasn't sure..didn't want to say no and regret or say yes and lead me on. She then proceeded to ignore me again while happily posting all over social media, liking guys pics etc.
    I bumped into her and she completely ignored me, then out of knowhere messaged me saying she couldn't talk because I (yes me) had headphones in and wouldn't hear her..........
    We chatted for a while, a few days until yep you guesssed it she disappeared again and deliberately ignores me. She leaves me on un read so doesn't even open the message. Again she continues to post on social media happi, like nothing ever happened.

    Over the next few months I really tried hard to get over her, I'm still struggling now but I'm better. We started talking again in November and she seemed a lot more open and cheerful talking to me. She was talking for a couple of weeks until again she asks me a question and deliberately ignores my answer. So over Xmas and new year I didn't hear from her, neither did I attempt to get in touch, why should I when I'm ignored all the time.

    Fast forward into the new year and a couple of weeks ago I bump into her. I go to the same place every couple of weeks at the same times which she knows about. I hadn't Sen her since we broke up as I think she was avoiding the area at that time. Anyway, a couple of weeks ago she walked past. I saw her coming and she was going to walk past without saying anything and ignoring me. So I said hello to her. She replied in a way which came across she was unaware I was there...she knew I was there. She said hi and carried on walking, didn't stop.
    A couple of hours later I get a message....over month since she last ignored me and in between this she liked one of my pics on fb which is very unusual. She apologised for not being able to stop she was in a hurry....she then chatted for a while, told me all about her life and what is going on etc, to which I told her I was pleased. Not once did she ask how I was. We talked for a week or so until yet again she asks me a question and then ignores my reply?? She blatantly ignores me again and has done ever since. That was over a week ago now.
    Since seeing me and ignoring me her social media has become a bit over the top. Lots of selfies, showing off, trying to get attention. She also put up she was coming off Facebook for a while but then for whatever reason didn't. She's put up things about how she likes her cat more than people, and that her cat makes her more happy than being in a relationship. This kind of hurt because I thought before our troubles our relationship was good. I haven't reacted to any of this but it's clear to me she isn't her self. I have thought about contacting but haven't. To put up things like that hurts me a lot because I miss her still but I don't understand why she is behaving like this. I haven't asked again to meet up since I did the first time, she told me she would know when she knows.
    I feel like I'm the bad guy somehow now, what do I do and what is she feeling? Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, you need to leave her alone and move forward. Delete and block her from all social media and messaging apps. He social media and dating activities are none of your concern since you broke up. Stop stalking her or contacting her. Move on and start dating other girls.
    Originally Posted by Yahsud
    Three year relationship, which ended one year ago.

    I go to the same place every couple of weeks at the same times which she knows about. Since seeing me and ignoring me her social media has become a bit over the top. Lots of selfies, showing off, trying to get attention. She also put up she was coming off Facebook for a while but then for whatever reason didn't. She's put up things about how she likes her cat more than people, and that her cat makes her more happy than being in a relationship.

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, you need to leave her alone and move forward. Delete and block her from all social media and messaging apps. He social media and dating activities are none of your concern since you broke up. Stop stalking her or contacting her. Move on and start dating other girls.
    Thanks. I don't contact her, she contacts me, we talk then she ignores me again. I make no attempts to re connect when she ignores me. I only see her social media posts because we are still friends.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You need to delete and block her and all her people from All your messaging apps and All your social media. You are not "friends", you are stalking her social media and trying to get her back and acting jealous and obsessed.
    Originally Posted by Yahsud
    Thanks. I don't contact her, she contacts me, we talk then she ignores me again. I make no attempts to re connect when she ignores me. I only see her social media posts because we are still friends.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Please do yourself a huge favor and go completely no contact. Block her from your social media so you are not constantly exposed to what she is doing, tell her nicely that you do not wish to hear from her anymore unless she genuinely wants to reconcile. If she doesn't respect that and continues to do what she is doing, block her number.

    You cannot heal when you keep interacting with her. Once you put a stop to all that, healing will come and soon enough you'll look back and wonder what you ever saw in her anyway. When you keep talking to an ex, seeing their social media, it's a lot like constantly ripping the scab off a wound. The wound won't heal and eventually start festering. You do not want to start festering emotionally, so just stop all contact completely.

  7. #6
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    What is the question she keeps asking you and ignoring your reply?

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    Originally Posted by loyal
    What is the question she keeps asking you and ignoring your reply?
    One was about a tv series if I had watched. The latest was if I had managed to do anything on the weekend.

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    Originally Posted by Yahsud
    One was about a tv series if I had watched. The latest was if I had managed to do anything on the weekend.
    How is she ignoring you when you answer?

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by loyal
    How is she ignoring you when you answer?
    She doesn't even read it. Leaves it on un read and doesn't open it.
    She gets the message because it shows delivered so she is deliberately ignoring it.

  11. #10
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    If you had blocked and deleted her, you wouldn't be in this place. You are your own worst enemy.

    Cut this off.

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