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Thread: Do I chase or forget about it?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It sounds like she thinks of you as a pal, but you're hoping for more. She's playing you for the fool, but at some level you know this. Even if you are having trouble with your current gf, this extracurricular activity being this woman's fool isn't helping.
    Originally Posted by lowndes8
    she asked where does my girlfriend think I am when I with her? I said I donít want to talk about her.

    She then proceeded to tell me that she had met someone a few months ago but it wasnít working out he was too much like her ex and already bossing the kids around and told me she was going to end it. I find out she hasnít broke up with him and he was around her house for her 40th Birthday and posted one facebook how much he loves and she liked the picture

  2. #12
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    I think she was just on a rebound because she had only literally just broke up with her husband and she just wanted some male attention. She probably thought you were safe because you were already in a relationship. I don't feel sorry you at all because you were emotionally cheating on your partner of 10 years and you were lying to her as well. And you lied to your friend because she asked you what your girlfriend thought of it all and you didn't tell her the truth. Yeah of course yoir friend picked the other guy! You are not even single so what do you expect? And you're speaking about this like your behaviour was perfectly normal and justified. It WASN'T.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    It's not hurtful to breakup with your girlfriend so she can actually find a faithful man who is crazy about her.

    Your common sense and ethics are severely lacking. You won't be a good partner to anyone until you right these wrongs.

    Two unethical people making a relationship work? What are the odds that will be successful? Zero. Your "friend" knew you were crossing relationship boundaries and didn't stop you. She's just not that into you, but liked the ego boost and expensive gift you gave her child.

    Be alone and work on yourself and maybe you will have better luck in romance and your decision-making skills.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by lowndes8
    I know i should of gotten free but i was too scared to break up with my girlfriend as i dont want to hurt her

    I dont know what situations im choosing all i know is if i was single i would of gone after the friend but now i fee
    l i have blown that opportunity
    You were scared? to hurt your gf?

    Come on... this is total cheater mentality. Cheaters say, "I dont want to hurt anyone" but what the reality is the only person you are thinking about is you.

    You want the love and admiration from both people. You don't want anyone to see the truth and judge you, as a bad person. And on top of that, you think the other woman was using YOU!

    Have you considered what is best for anyone but YOURSELF?

    Your poor gf. You've been dating someone else, getting A CAR FOR HER KID and all this time, claiming you are out with friends.

    yikes. I think you need to get to a therapist and learn to love someone other than yourself.

    Edited to add: the only issue your friend has is you. Her new boyfriend is not your concern. Even if he is older. Thats not in and of itself "an issue" its what she likes.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    OP,

    A narrow and important point: It is ALWAYS kinder to break up. It will never be easier to break up. Every day you permit your relationship to continue is a day you are making it that much more difficult to end it. She will not walk away from you, nor is it easier on her if you wait for her to figure out that she should. In fact, she will be hurt even more by that sort of outcome.

    Take the hit, end it in a forthright manner. That is the way to go that causes the least amount of pain.

    Pain-free is not an option. Nor is it reasonable. She too took the risk of being in a relationship. Feeling pain is part of the deal.

    Show respect by knowing she will be able to manage the pain. That is her job. Do your job so she can move on.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by lowndes8
    I also got a car for her daughter I busted my ass on it getting it ready for her XMAS Present. I always went out my way to help her and the kids by buying stuff like dinner, flowers when she was down etc etc.
    You bought her daughter a car? No wonder she wants to hang out with you!

    What does your girlfriend think of all of this?

  8. #17
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    You're the one who's in a relationship with a GF, and the friend told you that she wasn't interested in starting anything with you while that was the case.

    What, exactly, don't you understand about that?

  9. #18
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    Thanks you to everyone that replied.

    WOW i have had a look hard look and myself and realized im not the person i thought it was.

    I have decided im not going to reply to the text message she sent me i just going to forget about her and move on with life and let her get on with her life as what i did to her was not a very nice thing.

  10. #19
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by lowndes8
    Thanks you to everyone that replied.

    WOW i have had a look hard look and myself and realized im not the person i thought it was.

    I have decided im not going to reply to the text message she sent me i just going to forget about her and move on with life and let her get on with her life as what i did to her was not a very nice thing.
    Are you planning on setting your girlfriend free? After all, she's the one getting the short end of the stick. You can't have the best of both worlds, it always comes back to haunt you.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by lowndes8
    Thanks you to everyone that replied.

    WOW i have had a look hard look and myself and realized im not the person i thought it was.

    I have decided im not going to reply to the text message she sent me i just going to forget about her and move on with life and let her get on with her life as what i did to her was not a very nice thing.
    I appreciate your wide eyed look in the mirror. Also, thank you for sharing it with us, when you might have defended yourself or ducked away. Well done.

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