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Thread: Confused Friend

  1. #11
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    To Lambert,
    Sure, i will keep that in mind. In fact, I try doing that nowadays.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sarameldrin
    To Lambert,
    Sure, i will keep that in mind. In fact, I try doing that nowadays.
    it does work and it doesn't give them any ammo to say you blew them off or whatever. Which is what you really are trying to avoid while they are required to be in your life to some extent.

    Good luck!

  3. #13
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sarameldrin
    To Thatwasthen,
    The problem is we see each other regularly, we have the same group of friends, except the new ones he made.

    It's just so hard for me(i dont want to sound pathetic and exuding self-pity) . Even though it's been months, I just can't seem to put off this matter. Mostly because it just further convinces me of how incapable I am at having genuine friends. I can't even play the blame game here and put it all on him, because he has maintained being polite and says that real friendship is helping a person when they need you.
    I agree with that, but does that mean isolating the person is also a form of friendship? He is such a good person. And I just dont know what I did wrong.
    Why take the mindset that YOU did something wrong. Some friendships don't last, some do. Very seldom do school friends stay in one another's lives until death do you part so don't think negatively about yourself like that. You must put this behind you and concentrate on your career and your schooling that leads to that career. You are young and you have lots of time to mature and learn who does and wo doesn't have your back. You're still very much focused on these guys instead of doing what you need to do to get your grades up as well as your confidence which will come when you see all those grade averages improved.

    What are you even talking about when you say: "is isolating the person a form of friendship. Just forget them for now and work on befriending YOURSELF because right not you're not thinking in your own best interests.

  4. #14
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    To Lambert,
    You're right. I dont want any misunderstandings, so i think I'll just take it slow and lowkey from here.

  5.  

  6. #15
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    To ThatwasThen,
    It's true that I find it hard to let go of the matter. Mostly because I spend eighty percent of my day in college due to the class hours and even after that, it's not really out of my mind.
    In fact, I realised I ended up wanting these people to act like I wanted but that's not how these things work at all. I'm sure they have their reasons to do what they are doing. And I think it's time I let go of the idea that i can control how someone acts, solely because I value that person.
    And of course you're right, I haven't been paying any attention to my studies whatsoever. And it's pulling me down. Ill get right back to it.
    Thank you for your time and your valuable advice. You made me see a lot of sense.

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