Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Its been a long saga, but its finally on its way to being over

  1. #1
    Bronze Member a_lifters_life's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    USA
    Age
    31
    Posts
    804
    Gender
    Male

    Its been a long saga, but its finally on its way to being over

    We were together 12y, married 3, and have a 8 month old.

    Anywho its been a heck of a saga, but she showed her hand and it was the last straw. Last tuesday I officially had filed for divorce, and im now going through the process.

    I wont waste time talking about her more, but am trying to figure out my path forward after this 12y saga.

    What sort of steps should I guy like myself do to re-invent, and re-think who i am going forward and maybe at some point get lucky and meet someone new.

    Im looking for thoughts and ideas. Thanks

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    51,602
    Originally Posted by a_lifters_life
    We were together 12y, married 3, and have a 8 month old.

    Anywho its been a heck of a saga, but she showed her hand and it was the last straw. Last tuesday I officially had filed for divorce, and im now going through the process.

    I wont waste time talking about her more, but am trying to figure out my path forward after this 12y saga.

    What sort of steps should I guy like myself do to re-invent, and re-think who i am going forward and maybe at some point get lucky and meet someone new.

    Im looking for thoughts and ideas. Thanks
    My thought is to put those things on hold and act in the best interests of your child. When I was home full time it was more than a full time job. Don't try to "re-invent" - be there for your child, take care of yourself mentally/emotionally/health-wise with your first priority being your child.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    1,819
    What sort of steps should I guy like myself do to re-invent, and re-think who i am going forward and maybe at some point get lucky and meet someone new.
    Contradictory as it may seem... to re-invent and re-think you must first take time to re-flect on who you want to become. What kind of colleague/dad/friend/sibling/son/partner do you want to be?

    This means slowing down, allowing yourself time to experience your feelings and to process everything that happened. This may also mean seeing a therapist, life coach, someone that can help you figure out how to become the person you want to be.

    To do this successfully you need to do this on your own without the distraction of another relationship.

    For now, focus on having a civil co-parenting relationship with your ex... this will be enough work in and of itself.

  4. #4
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    372
    Originally Posted by a_lifters_life
    What sort of steps should I guy like myself do to re-invent, and re-think who i am going forward and maybe at some point get lucky and meet someone new.

    Im looking for thoughts and ideas. Thanks
    I think that right now, you shouldn't worry about meeting someone new. This is a good time to learn how your life will be as a divorced man with an 8 month old. Get into your new routine and let it play out for a while. THEN you can think about meeting a new person. But get yourself in a good place first.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Bronze Member a_lifters_life's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    USA
    Age
    31
    Posts
    804
    Gender
    Male
    Great points everyone - appreciate the replies. Yes, my 8 month old is obviously my first priority. Second priority is working on myself and introspection of all that has happened. Only then will it be to meet someone new (perhaps)

  7. #6
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    51,602
    Originally Posted by a_lifters_life
    Great points everyone - appreciate the replies. Yes, my 8 month old is obviously my first priority. Second priority is working on myself and introspection of all that has happened. Only then will it be to meet someone new (perhaps)
    Yes and all I'm saying is from my experience of being a parent of an 8 month old -a married parent with an involved father -most of second priorities become very distant priorities and since you are divorced it's even more important to give your child stability and consistency. Also depends on what your working on yourself entails. I work on myself daily in very specific ways.


Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •