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Thread: Am I in the wrong?

  1. #11
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    She is being ridiculous. People need to shower. Why does her child live 100% with dad?

  2. #12
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    And how long were you dating before getting married? Also curious if she moved into your house, or whether this is a house you guys all moved in to together.

    Guess what I'm trying to get at is that this drama with the shower? It's not really an issue, but a symptom of a larger issue: you guys are not building a home in which everyone can live harmoniously. I think you both need to figure out a way to address that, rather than go for tat over something like this.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    I am sorry but refusing to let them use the shower is completely absurd and unacceptable behavior. I don't care how messy they might get, it is simply NOT an excuse for a few days.

    It is rare for a woman to lose custody of her kids, but in this case, it seems there is good reason why her husband has 100% custody.

    How well did you even know her before you married her?

  4. #14

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    We dated for a year and a half. We bought the house together but lived together a bit before that. I have tried to work this out with her which is why I am continuously on my kids to do better. They are improving but she doesn't want to acknowledge it. I guess I am looking at it as messy or not how do you say my kids can't use the shower for 2 days. i wouldn't do that to her son. As far as why her son lives with the Dad. it was an abuse relationship and when they divorced her attorneys told her to move away from the ex. They are not in the same state. The ex won custody of the son.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I think she is being ridiculous. Those kids are old enough to know they need to tidy up the bathroom after a shower. Your wife is being really petty. Makes me wonder if there is something else going on there.

  7. #16
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    I don't agree with your wife's position, but I also think that the kids should have more responsibilities in the house-Their contribution is minimal. This prepares them for adulthood.

  8. #17
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    He is abusive and wins custody? How ?

  9. #18
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    So she is pretty much terrorizing your kids in their own home, to the point of refusing them basic needs like hygiene and you are running around supporting and reinforcing that and telling your kids to appease the crazy and try to do better lest she lose it. What are you doing?

  10. #19
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    So you've known her for 3 years. During that time has she displayed a tendency to react in extreme, negative, punishing, and vindictive ways when she is upset? Does she take comfort in a story line—with waiters, with credit companies, with whomever—that she is being wronged by the world?

    Like others, I don't care if your children are tornadoes of slop; her refusal to let them bathe is, well, it's just wrong. Not a solution, but a very fine way to exacerbate the problem and find comfort and power in the problem. Hard for me not to wonder if a similar dynamic played out in her first marriage, and if her current custody arrangement is a reflection of that.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    No, no "further context" is needed. The line ends at ****in' depriving children of basic human rights. Even prisoners get a shower a day. She expect them to stand in front of the sink and hand wash and rinse themselves? It's unforgivable and a completely separate issue from any amount of mess your kids might leave.

    My advice: third time's a charm. Obviously work on yourself and your picker before you remarry again.

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