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Thread: We broke up, but we had so much in common

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by Overdrive00
    she was everything I was looking for when it comes to a connection not just on Hobbies but communication and intimacy

    [...]

    she couldn't find the spark she said even though just the week prior for Valentine's Day She Wrote romantic Jesters on 25 little cards about how much she loved me

    [...]

    I just don't understand why forming such a meaningful connection could lead to break up :'(
    It's a mind-boggling lesson, but be glad you learned it at a young age (I am assuming you are pretty young.)

    Humans are complex, and it just goes to show that a person's outward displays aren't always a manifestation of exactly what is going on in their minds.

    The good news is she was honest with you, and didn't lead you on. Even though you felt all of those amazing things, there is no use wanting to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you in that way. She gave you the gift of honesty, which seems to be a dying trait these days.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Overdrive00
    @cherylyn thank you for taking time to respond it means a lot to me
    You're very welcome, Overdrive00. Even though you don't see this now, someday, sooner than you think, time will heal your old wounds.

    Even though she hesitated her decision, she ultimately made her decision to call it quits. You'll have to respect her decision even if you don't like it because it's life and it happens.

    As for her opening the door for friendship, forget it. I agree with you. Friendship is a no go after the relationship is over. As mentioned previously, a friendship post-break up would feel incredibly awkward and uncomfortable.

    It's better to make a clean break and I agree with others, it's better that she break up now with you as opposed to dragging out a relationship which wasn't meant to last anyway. Her heart wasn't fully invested into it as much as yours was I'm sorry to say.

    You deserve a lady who feels the same way you do and as painful as it is to feel rejected and dumped, sometimes these types of cuts are a blessing in disguise even though you may feel blind right now. The silver lining is she did you a favor and this gives you a chance to someday be with a lady who is on the same page with you long term as opposed to merely temporary.

    Also, keep in mind sometimes the maturity level isn't there for a committed long term relationship. Some people call it quits prematurely without giving the relationship a chance to grow, flourish and survive to fruition. Some people fear long term commitments and they're not that serious. You deserve a lady who is in it for the long haul as opposed to very short term.

    Don't soldier alone. Surround yourself with high class, very moral friends and loving, nurturing, supportive family members. Take good care of your health. Find balance in your life. Socialize in a healthy way and savor your solitude, too. Have healthy distractions whether it's hobbies, sports, outings, excursions, intellectual pursuits, charitable good works, etc. Or, church if you're faith based.

    One door closes and another door will open up for you. In the meantime, take a break from dating and give yourself plenty of time to heal and recover. Take it easy, Overdrive00.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member gsxr104's Avatar
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    This girl gave you the utmost of respect in her delivery. She obviously feels a high level of respect for you. I know this is not the way you wanted your relationship with her to go but of all the possible ways this could have gone I could have thought of a better way for her to do it.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member gsxr104's Avatar
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    Pardon my typo in my commentary above .... That should have read " I could NOT have thought of a better way for her to do it "

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by Overdrive00
    She couldn't find the spark she said even though just the week prior for Valentine's Day She Wrote romantic Jesters on 25 little cards about how much she loved me
    This makes me think she's one of those folks who loves the idea of love, and gets a little googly-eyed when performing their love. Why? She only dated you for 3 months. This sort of Valentine's gift is cute, but more fitting of people who've been together a while and actually know their partners well enough to list off 25 things they love about them. I don't say that to minimize your feelings. I say that to help you understand her seemingly contradictory actions.

    For reference, how old are you both?

  7. #16
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    @MaybeThen

    I'm 32 & Your right sometimes life can be the most confusing thing sometime.

    A relationship that hit all the right bells from hobbies, to communication to intimacy

    Can still fail in the end.

  8. #17
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    @Cherylyn

    Yeah every word you said is so true especially because it everything seem so right but I'm going to keep on moving but in the future I'm going be a little more diligent about who I commit to and watch out for certain cues. Even though everything seems on track with no hiccups I'm going to triple check from now on so now I'm not wasting my time

    Again I'm trying not to take things personal with this one but at the same time I'm not going to waste more time getting into another relationship

    Oh Lol she not the only one that has ask for friendship after the break up because they didn't want to lost me as a person

    in the past because I was younger I would agree but not really be friends ( take long to get back to them not agree to meet up etc ) because I didn't know how else to handle it, wanted a relationship and I was upset about how they ended it.

    Eventually they got the hint and stop reaching out.

    At least with her I'm being honest and upfront over the phone not to expect a friendship down the road

  9. #18
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    @gsxr104 no apologies necessary I understood completely. you hit the nail on the head. I realize now that it was a difficult situation. Still very hurt because I thought between everything we shared and how great the relationship was that it was going to lead to more but I can't dwell in the past and move on.

  10. #19
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    @MissCanuck I'm 32 and she 35

    Your right she did mention how she was very drawn to the idea especially when it comes to Disney films or even anime such as Sailor Moon when it comes to the concept of love

    And it affected her ability to get into relationships based on the way the characters were acting in those shows and movies

    Yeah was just weirdest thing to go from this highest High taking all that time to write down how she felt about me on that that many cards and saying how connected she felt today's before the break up

    Actually breaking up out of nowhere she also said she was going through stress starting a new job and things like that

    Regardless I knew there's nothing there that I could do she said I was clicking all the right buttons and it wasn't on my part even though I still feel there were some things

  11. #20
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    OP if she has second doubts she will break her word about contacting you so that is why you need to block her so you can't get dragged into her internal emotional tug of war. It won't help you staying in contact.

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