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Thread: Do I have the right to complain for being poor?

  1. #1
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    Do I have the right to complain for being poor?

    I recently moved to a new city to start a new job and my parents have been giving me the money to buy minimal necessities. This morning I was compaining to my mom that I don’t have a vacuum cleaner and she got upset and said that “you ask from me what I don’t have”.
    This is an usual situation between me and her.
    She has always been economical in every minor thing, like even with food stuff and also buying cheap(and therefore low-quality) things or not buying certain things at all because we don’t have enough money. She s always deperate about this. And I almost always complain and accuse her for being too economical.
    I am fustrated about not having enough money. And about never have travelling to another country and few times in my own country.
    For example after passing the hardest final university exam with a top mark, I had no money at all and simply spent my free days at home while I wished to have at least a little trip.
    Still, my mom gave me more money than she ever gave to my older siblings who never complained.
    Now, I know I am totally unfair for behaving like this. I hate myself that I make my mom suffer. It is so hard to keep myself from complaining when I am so frustrated about this matter.
    I would appreciate some counsels and opinions. Thank you.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Get a second job. Cut back on phone, TV services and other unnecessary items. Stop viewing reality shows and social media that make you think you are entitled to a pampered life at the expense of your parents.
    Originally Posted by Highsky
    I recently moved to a new city to start a new job and my parents have been giving me the money to buy minimal necessities. my mom gave me more money than she ever gave to my older siblings who never complained.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    How old are you? Are you still a student? If you are older than 18 then your parents' obligation/job regarding helping you financially is complete and done. Any help they provide you when you are an adult, you should take with gratitude and not ask for more. You are NOT entitled to any of their money if you are an adult. It sounds like you need to get a second job or if you are still studying then you need to focus on your studies so that you finish as soon as possible so that you can get a better paid job. Complaining spreads negative energy and gets you and everyone around you down therefore, it will get you nowhere good. Plus, stressing your mom is bad for her health. Imo, you need to accept that at this point money IS tight and focus on changing this through earning your OWN money.

  4. #4
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    This is typical after leaving home. It is a necessary condition to make people work harder and strive. Past 18 our parents owe us nothing beyond love and emotional support. Now you owe yourself a life. If that means another job that is what you do.

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  6. #5
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    I think you do this by making different choices as to how to react to these feelings -feelings are feelings and we choose the reaction. You recognize that you are being unfair by reacting in a hurtful way. So do self-talk, do some brisk cardio exercise -a brisk walk or run, or scrub a floor - to kind of work off the negative energy, for example. My parents let me live at home rent free until I was 28 because I was in school for 7 years after age 18 and for the 3 years in between they wanted to help me save for grad school. So I didn't have my own place until I could afford it. I didn't leave the country until age 15 because that was when my grandmother paid for me to take a teen tour overseas. I also was able to go on a high school senior trip to a foreign country (the language I was studying). But the trip I took after grad school -I paid for with my own $ I earned working during grad school. For example (oh and my grandpa washed windows to feed his family back in the 1930s-50s and paid about $20 a year so my mom could go to college -begrudgingly, but he did it -same for his other child.)

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    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    What kind of classes are you taking? Will it lead to a good paying job?

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    I am 25 and I graduated medicine. I started worrking as a resident doctor this month.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    That is excellent, but begging parents for money is not.
    Originally Posted by Highsky
    I am 25 and I graduated medicine. I started worrking as a resident doctor this month.

  10. #9
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Highsky
    I am 25 and I graduated medicine. I started worrking as a resident doctor this month.
    Then complaining to your mom about needing money and a vacuum and not going out of the country is inordinately inappropriate. Make yourself a life. As a doctor you are not going to be “ poor” . Are you going to work hard? You betcha. But eventually you will have an income beyond most people. I would stop bugging your mother for anything.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Buck up butter cup... living expenses, trips, vacuums, all cost money... and if your parents are thrifty (whether by choice or circumstance) you have no right to complain. No one owes you anything.

    Yes, as a child, food, clothing, shelter is provided and the responsibility of our parents. But once you leave the nest, you really have to make your own way.

    Complaining and acting like you are entitled is very immature. It seems you have some learning, earning and growing up to do.

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