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Thread: Do I have the right to complain for being poor?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    You parents finished raising you and you're on your own. And, with a medical degree, you'll have more than an ample income for life. Without your parents raising you, never forget you didn't achieve without their blood, sweat and tears to get you there. You didn't grow up all by yourself.

    Don't compare yourself with your siblings.

    I'm a mother and I know full well what it takes to raise children. Never forget to learn how to be grateful to your parents because raising a family is the hardest job in the world.

    Learn to disengage more from your parents and think independently. Limit contact. As much as I love my mother and in-laws, I've since learned not to get too close for everyone's sake. It works, too.

    Let your parents take care of themselves while you carve out your own life. Then when you become affluent, it will be nice of you to treat them every once in a while if you know they're struggling and you can afford to be kind with your wallet. Put your money where your mouth is.

    When I can afford it, I occasionally give my mother gift cards at random to her local grocery store. In order to prevent porch piracy, I postal mail gift cards and other practical items with "required signature confirmation" so she must sign for it or pick it up at her local post office.

    Other than that, we don't get personal nor do we poke around in each others business.

    Do what you can when you can to help your financially strapped parents someday - - within reason and back off a lot. This is what I do. You can still enforce healthy boundaries while being kind. It can be done.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Suck it up, muffin. You sound like an entitled whiner. Your mother owes you nothing now that you are an adult. Stop whining and get another job if you need more money. Your complaining would drive me nuts.

  3. #23
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    You are an adult. Your parents owe you NOTHING. Be grateful you have a parent who wants to help you at ALL. I received NO help at all from my parents after I turned 17.

  4. #24
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Highsky
    I recently moved to a new city to start a new job and my parents have been giving me the money to buy minimal necessities. This morning I was compaining to my mom that I don’t have a vacuum cleaner and she got upset and said that “you ask from me what I don’t have”.
    This is an usual situation between me and her.
    I am fustrated about not having enough money. And about never have travelling to another country and few times in my own country.
    while I wished to have at least a little trip.
    Still, my mom gave me more money than she ever gave to my older siblings who never complained.
    Now, I know I am totally unfair for behaving like this. I hate myself that I make my mom suffer. It is so hard to keep myself from complaining when I am so frustrated about this matter.
    I would appreciate some counsels and opinions. Thank you.
    Sometimes we dont see the sacrifices our parents make to raise us.
    I remember my mom used to buy us clothes and she would always get the cheapest one for her , or she wont buy anything for her , so she could save/spend on us and dad.
    Sometimes i couldnt go on a trip, my mates all went but i couldnt , am sure she also felt bad about it. But thats how life is, did she went on a trip without you? i never saw her spend much on trips either.

    what did you do with your salary? Plan some trip with mom or surprise her once you save enough for that.

    I spent all my first salary on buying stuff for her and dad...the smile on their face just brought so much happiness to me as well.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    You're an adult, so you have the right to anything you want to do. You're either smart enough to learn the consequences of that, or not. If you want a good relationship with your mother, then complaining isn't the best way to go about it. Consider letting go of your child role and start demonstrating the maturity you wish to be credited for owning.

  7. 02-24-2020, 04:56 PM

  8. #26
    Gold Member Coily's Avatar
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    You can whine and complain, but only if you have a solution; that's my philosophy.

  9. #27
    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    And, with a medical degree, you'll have more than an ample income for life.
    That's in the US.
    Many, many countries outside the US havie meager wages for physicians, let alone residents. We're talking $400 monthly, with rent being half of that. She could be in a very poor country somewhere in Europe or Asia.

  10. #28
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    You need to get a roommate so that your expenses are cut. You need to stop whining and having an entitled mentality. Buy vegetables, beans, right and a little bit of meat to eat and don't buy boxed foods. Do without luxuries. Buy things second hand. You can do it. Your mother would be proud if you can learn how to support yourself - don't worry about buying her things that she doesn't have. She managed to raise you on what she has. You are saving her money by not begging for money.

    Originally Posted by Sillywillyki
    That's in the US.
    Many, many countries outside the US havie meager wages for physicians, let alone residents. We're talking $400 monthly, with rent being half of that. She could be in a very poor country somewhere in Europe or Asia.
    Doctors still make more than the average wages - its all relative. you won't live on the streets in a tent if you are working as a doctor.

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