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Thread: Feeling if dread and no solution to getting back together

  1. #1

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    Feeling if dread and no solution to getting back together

    I had a smear in October and they took extra swabs as I kept bleeding randomly so just wanted to check everything.

    It came back negative but I didnít know the swabs were for stds (Chlamydia etc)

    My partner who Iím currently on a break with had been having symptoms throughout our relationship with rashes on his man end and always been given creams etc nothing ever went away. Anyway a few weeks ago he said he was off for a std test as had other symptoms and said heís prob had something the full time heís been with me (7 years) my partner nor myself didnít know id been tested for this in October.

    His tests came back positive and told me I should get checked and he was adamant itís from prior to our relationship. So I went to the doctors yesterday and the dr told me I was tested in October and was negative. In my mind of 7 years of sleeping with my partner the chances that he had it the whole relationship would mean I would have got it? Or is there a chance I couldnít have?

    Heís got a friend (Nov time) that recently he had been out with and acting out of character with and it made me have doubts so now Iím thinking that heís slept with her and caught something of her esp with me not having it in October. It just all seems to add up.

    I obviously donít know the ins and outs of Chlamydia and how much of a % there is that you can catch it if a partner has it. Does anyone know or would it be highly likely I would have it if heíd had it for 7 years.

    Driving me insane but to be honest I think Iím right in thinking that heís cheated on me as he was staying out, lying etc and all just seems to time it right.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    I think your logic makes complete sense, (meaning he just got it bc he cheated in Nov) but I'm not a doctor and I have no idea. Why dont you call your doctor and ask them?

    You've been tested and you don't have it... so I wouldn't be embarrassed to ask. Doctors probably hear this all the time... people cheat... stds get passed.

    If he got in Nov and you were tested in Oct, you could have it....

    If he had occassional outbreaks, weren't you ever nervous about what it could be and coukd you catch it?
    Last edited by Lambert; 02-22-2020 at 07:37 PM. Reason: edited to clarify

  3. #3

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    Originally Posted by Lambert
    I think your logic makes complete sense, but I'm not a doctor and I have no idea. Why dont you call your doctor and ask them?

    You've been tested and you don't have it... so I wouldn't be embarrassed to ask. Doctors probably hear this all the time... people cheat... stds get passed.
    I asked the doctor but obviously she didnít want to say yes 100% she just said more than likely. Maybe they canít say yes? I donít know but I canít see after all the time with an active sec life I wouldnít have it. What a crapper of a time :(

    Then I started reading about it all and all the different things as how it can lay dormant etc now I just feel lost with all the conflicting info. Wish Iíd just asked to be retested rather than them just giving me the tablets incase I had got it.

  4. #4

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    Originally Posted by Lambert
    I think your logic makes complete sense, (meaning he just got it bc he cheated in Nov) but I'm not a doctor and I have no idea. Why dont you call your doctor and ask them?

    You've been tested and you don't have it... so I wouldn't be embarrassed to ask. Doctors probably hear this all the time... people cheat... stds get passed.

    If he got in Nov and you were tested in Oct, you could have it....

    If he had occassional outbreaks, weren't you ever nervous about what it could be and coukd you catch it?
    No they never suggested a STD when he went for the outbreak he just had some cream that he would put on when it flares up.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Sorry about all this.

    Letís focus on the good news. In the fall you tested negative, and now your took some pills that completely eliminate a minor infection, if you even had it. So, great. Youíre a healthy human being with nothing to be concerned about on that front. Cheers to that!

    Now, the bad news. Something tells me that if we erased this entire std chapter from things with your guy youíd still be left with a pretty rotten connection. How rotten? Where, exactly, is it rotten? This seems to be what youíre breaking your brain to try to prove, to the detriment of you spiritís health.

    Rotten is rotten is rotten, is my point. Did he get with someone in November? Maybe, maybe not. Would a hard answer either way really change the way you feel about him, the sense of paranoia and hurt and doubts? I donít get that impression.

    Iím sorry youíre hurting right now, and sorry about whatever led you guys to this break. Seven years is a long time, and no doubt there is lots of history and a well of complicated feelings. But in focusing on the nitty gritty of this infection I think youíre kind of avoiding the bigger question, which is whether this is a break that might be best to be a permanent one, for your own emotional health.

    Physically you are both fine, after all. Thatís what good medicine can do. But, emotionally, are you healthy for each other, or infectious?

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    Administrator kamurj's Avatar
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    Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed.


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