Let it go and move on or try harder?

Hi everyone. I'm new to this site and what brought me here is I really need some solid advice on which way to go in my life and this relationship I've been involved in. This is a crazy situation and easy to judge however I really would apprecaite advice as I know I should have made different decisions. I'm currently 32 years old, and I met this guy who is 43 years old back in July. I met him through his friend who I had a short relationship with, and it didn't work out. When I met him, he was still married (married for 15 years to be exact). He explained to me his marriage was over and he was sticking it out for their child (15 years old). Him and I got very close and he ended up leaving house, moving in with me 2 months later. He took his wife and child on vacation and right after he got back from vacation he moved in with me. His wife found out about us right away and wasn't happy at all to say the least...but he made the decision to leave and filed for divorce in early November. We ended up getting pregnant in September and I am currently 5 months pregnant. Our relationship has been rocky because he's never had trust for me. I've never cheated on him or talked to any guys behind his back. In August after he moved in, we went out for my co-workers going away party to a bar. I work with 1 female and the rest are men. I've been with my company for approx. 6 years and have grown friends with all my coworkers. Well the night we went out he was talking to some of my coworkers and I was walking around, talking to other coworkers, drinking, and he says I was really flirty and it made him uncomfortable. (to the point he still brings it up months later-its been an issue) Another issue we had is my friend and her boyfriend came over (who are alot younger than me-early 20's) I've known them for years and watched them grow up pretty much. Well my friends boyfriend grew his hair long and I was "playing with" his hair..my friend didn't take it in any appropriate way but my boyfriend did, he said it made him uncomfortable and it was really flirty and that's been another issue that has been brought up over and over and over again..constantly causing arguments. He is more of a reserved guy and I am more outgoing. During the beginning of our relationship there were things that made me uncomfortable...he goes to his house everyday that he shared with his wife to hang out with his daughter, his wife has said a lot of nasty things about me (completely understood) and he doesn't defend me. I have a 10 year old son, and am civil with his father, and he has a problem with that because he thinks I still have a thing for his father..even though we haven't been together in 9 years. I've deleted all social media accounts and changed my phone number to give him peace of mind. He has access to my cell phone and periodically goes through it (I guess to make sure nothing is going on behind his back with anything). I've also told my sons father to limit conversation with me and speak directly to his son because my boyfriend would get mad if we were on the phone (always in regards to my son). I'm not perfect and I guess I hurt him those times he thought I was being flirty. I know how much I love him and how I would never do anything to hurt him but he doesn't believe me. Recently, he started recording me. He put his old I-phone in my purse while I went to work and listened to me and my coworker (who happens to be a good friend of mine) conversation. (She is a female) She was talking about a guy she has been sleeping with/talking to and saying how he has a big "package" and my response was: "I know its perfect literally" - well my boyfriend heard the recording and lost it. Broke up with me, packed all his stuff and went and slept at his wifes house. He is convinced I saw this kid's private parts which I didn't and he is saying that I said it with "conviction". I feel he is looking into this too much-(hes listening to the recording everyday over and over) and it is making things worse. He ended up coming back a day later and brought back all his stuff- I literally had to beg! and ever since he's been up and down saying I'm a and I'm disgusting and gross and he's never seen a female act or speak that way. I've explained to him over and over and over it was a stupid comment that I didn't mean and I only love and care for him, and I am only attracted to him! I keep telling him but it is getting to the point we are going in circles. We've had a few good days and now he is back to ignoring me and telling me to get away from him and leave him alone. At this point, I really don't know where to go from here. I love him and want to work this out but I can't keep begging...Any advice is TRULY appreciated, as this is really depressing me.

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Paragraphs, OP.

Replied in your identical thread: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=563723&p=7200695&viewfull=1#post7200695

OMG he actually sounds like a psycho! He's extremely jealous and controlling in abnormal ways! His behaviours are NOT OK. I can't believe you continued dating him after he acted like that! Do you think it's normal of your partner to constantly suspect you of cheating and control your every move? When you're actually doing nothing wrong? He's very weirdly paranoid! How is just speaking to your male colleagues cheating? You've worked in that company for six years and these guys are your friends.

He gave you ZERO privacy and completely controlled your social media, phone and every aspect of your life. You shouldn't have had to delete your social media and give him access to your phone! You're allowed to have privacy and your own life! Tracking your partner's every move is NOT normal.

You didn't have to apologise for that conversation with your family colleague at all. He was recording you and spying on you without your knowledge. You didn't even say or do anything wrong!! WHY WHY WHY do you think this is all OK and you were begging for him to come back? The guy is a psycho! I wouldn't have put up with it even for one minute.

That giant wall of text was difficult to read. Please break up your post into easy-to-read paragraphs. I apologize in advance if I didn't understand something.

You were both married when you met and proceeded to have an affair that resulted in a child.

He doesn't trust you...you didn't exactly start off on a solid foundation, did you?

He sounds psycho, controlling, jealous, and unstable. He will give you the silent treatment, hanging out with the ex, staying at the ex's house, blaming you, recording you, watching, stalking...bad news.

If you slept over at your ex-husband's house after a fight or just to "hang" on the weekend with your kid, how well would that go over with him?

This man is bad news.

You said that he left his wife and moved in with you and when his wife got mad about it, he filed for divorce in November.

You *then* state that you "ended up getting pregnant in September." Last I checked, September came a full two months before November, so by my calculation, you were a full two months pregnant when he "decided to file for divorce in November."

This situation is messy and sloppy, and this man sounds toxic. I think you need to step back and do not pursue a relationship with this man. You will probably need to seek legal support in regards to your child and seek counselling. It won't be easy to deal with this steaming pile of manure you walked yourself straight into, but the bottom line is, dump this chump. He is not worth it. Your only job right now is to be a good mom and raise an exceptional little human. Historically, boys who grow up in an abusive household grow up to be abusers, while girls who grow up in an abusive household, grow up to be victims of abuse. Break the cycle, OP, and remove this man from your life.

I vote for let it go and move on. Seriously. And as quickly as possible. This guy is terrible.

Next time you post, please use paragraphs. That was hard to read...

He doesn't trust you because he is a cheater and knows he can not be trusted.

There is no choice. This situation is horrible and no place to raise a child. End it and get a lawyer for child support.

I've deleted all social media accounts and changed my phone number to give him peace of mind.

- No. One should never have to end their friends & lifeline - all to try and impress a new partner.

Is YOUR life.. you're living it!

His jealousy is not your problem. IMO, he's moved on way too soon, after a long term relationship- He is not all okay.

His actions are poor. His leaving & coming back- constantly rubbing stuff in your face.. Do YOU want to be constantly

rediculed?

YOu may 'love & care' for him - but he is far from 'able' to be the same back

Make note of all of this... NEVER get involved with someone freshly out of a relationship- You are very much just

a rebound :(.

No trust? No success... sorry.