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Thread: Money and issues with grandma

  1. #1
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    Money and issues with grandma

    It's me again from the thread about my grandma asking my husband and I to leave. (A few threads down)

    So update. Got an apartment for 900 a month plus electric, supposed to move in by the 1st. So that's good. Concerned about how were going to pay for this place and have any left over so we've also been on a job hunt. I have an interview as a remote ghostwriter on the 31. So that's going in the right direction too.

    But...I was going to completely skip buying Christmas presents since we've been having to save as much money as possible, so I decided to make treats instead. I called my grandma on the 23rd to ask her what her and my dad might want. She scolded me for waiting so long to decide on this and that "Christmas comes every year. You have had all year to save money."

    So we haven't talked for a few days.

    Meanwhile, we've realized our cat is chronically sick with gastro-intenstinal problems and we've had to take him to the vet 3 times, which has costed us almost 900 in the last two months, so that has put us back financially.

    We've also been preparing to pay this new landlord soon, so that's going to be first month's rent, security deposit, and deposit for electric company.

    Then today, she realized we hadn't payed her the last half of rent for December. She sends me a text.

    Her: Who is supposed to pay the last half of rent? It has not been received. It is way late.

    Me: Since it wasn't a plan to move at this time, I'm sure you'll understand that we need to save for first month's rent and in addition, deposits for the new place.

    Her: And just who is going to pay the utilities when the bills come? You stay, you pay. When you pay rent, you pay for the whole month. I am really sorry that you want to shaft your grandmom. When you are here, you are obligated to pay. I am not your fairy godmother. You two make more than I do. I have been very good to you both. It's not fair that you both take advantage of our relationship.

    Me: It's not that I "want to shaft you." We just don't have the extra money right now with everything else going on and with having to pay deposits in addition to rent to the new place. We have to do what we have to do if you want us out of here. I'm asking for you to understand.

    Her: You two have been crying broke for three years. You are always telling me you have no money. You owe the last half of the rent, period. You have known for three years that this day was coming. no excuses! You owe. Period.

    Me: I understand. You'll get it when it is available.

    Her: And what day will that be? You have 7 days late. I should charge you 5 percent. But I won't. I don't like being taken advantage of.

    And to that I didn't respond. I'm sorry that we have to pay a portion of the rent late. NEVER been late on it before the entire time we've been here. She even wrote us a letter of recommendation saying that in writing. I promised her I'd have it for her when I have the money, and I mean it of course, but she feels that we're deliberately taking advantage of her. I just don't know what else to tell her.

    I'd give it to her right now if I didn't think that it might mean the difference between whether or not we have enough to get into this new place.

  2. #2
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Make an arrangement with her to pay her 25 dollars a month until it's all paid.

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by SarahLancaster
    Make an arrangement with her to pay her 25 dollars a month until it's all paid.
    That's a good idea.

  4. #4
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    So from your other thread, that is $300?

    I don't understand this comment from her:

    You two make more than I do
    It sounds to me like she is trying to control you, even now, by being difficult about money.

    It is all she has left now that you are on your way out.

    What I suggest, if it is practicable, is you and husband grab a couple of shifts of second job casual work somewhere, anywhere, even if its minimum wage, over the next few days and use the money to pay down a small loan, that will get grandma off your back.

    From your other thread:

    Yesterday, my husband got approved for a 10k loan in case we had to just get out of dodge. I really don't want to go that much into debt but we've been backed into a corner here.

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  6. #5
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    If you had been renting off of any other landlord and left owing rent, they would be on your back about it too and they wouldn't entertain excuses about needing to keep hold of money to pay for the new place. If your grandma was relying on your rent to pay bills then I can understand why she feels annoyed and taken advantage of. Can your husband approach his family to borrow the money needed to pay what you owe your grandma? If not, then ask her over what period would be acceptable to her for you to pay the debt and negotiate from there.

  7. #6
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    You absolutely ARE taking advantage of her!!!

    She is right. You can plan for Christmas and you can plan for a rainy day. As in , you put money aside (esp as you are paying cheaper rent for things like vet bills etc.)

    You do owe her rent money and no you do NOT have the right to negotiate.
    Try that with your upcoming real estate agent !??

    Sort out your finances , stop expecting others to be lenient because you havenít foreplanned and donít be so insulting to family that have allowed you to live in an area you canít afford.

    Pay your due debts.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    To be honest, you shouldn't have been irresponsible and paid 900 dollars for your cat. That money should have gone to your grandma or the bills you needed to move.

    I understand how pets are family etc, but this is a roof over your head and you didn't have the money to pay for a vet.

    At the end of the day, this was your grandmas money and you should have paid her fairly.

  9. #8
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    We used a credit card for the vet. You know what, I'll just take a cash advance and give it to her.

    She just texted me overnight and called me and my sisters "dogs." I can't take this anymore.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by JDAnthony
    We used a credit card for the vet. You know what, I'll just take a cash advance and give it to her.
    Good idea.

    Get her off your back, and like I said, do some extra work to pay off the $300 on the card.

    And you don't ave to talk to her.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. You should never have lived with them. Move out, pay up, stop making excuses, get real full time jobs and get rid of some luxuries. Stop taking advantage.

    Stop giving her sob stories about your credit cards, pets, and deciding that being scrooge was an apt punishment for her.. Live within your means and if that means a tiny apartment with no pets then so it is...or move back to where you both lived before.

    Your lives are not your grandmother's responsibility. Once you get rid of the entitled mentality your lives will be easier because you will live within your means.

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