Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 19

Thread: At what point should one chuck it all...

  1. #1
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    2,637
    Gender
    Female

    At what point should one chuck it all...

    ...and go live on a sail boat? I do not mean it literally :) Basically, sometimes I feel quite fed up with my current career and I feel that all the stress is literally hurting my health. I enjoy the related prestige and some aspects of the actual work but it consumes all of my energy and time to the point that I feel like I have no work-life balance at all. It is supposed to be what I have been working towards my whole life though. Has anyone experienced this i.e. approaching your ultimate career goal and finding out that it might not be good for your mental health in the long-term? If you ended up changing careers, what was the tipping point and how did it turn out?

  2. #2
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    Florida Panhandle
    Posts
    909
    Gender
    Female
    What makes you stay in this career? The money and prestige? Do those outweigh your mental health? Will your job always be like this? Are there other options in your field to perhaps scale down your work hours and still make a good living?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    13,370
    I'm in a similar situation. I am so well paid that I would have to significantly downgrade my lifestyle if I changed jobs.

    Trapped by a big paycheck...sigh.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    10,594
    Originally Posted by Clio
    ...and go live on a sail boat? I do not mean it literally :) Basically, sometimes I feel quite fed up with my current career and I feel that all the stress is literally hurting my health. I enjoy the related prestige and some aspects of the actual work but it consumes all of my energy and time to the point that I feel like I have no work-life balance at all. It is supposed to be what I have been working towards my whole life though. Has anyone experienced this i.e. approaching your ultimate career goal and finding out that it might not be good for your mental health in the long-term? If you ended up changing careers, what was the tipping point and how did it turn out?
    I'm pretty fortunate to have pretty much always had a good attitude of working to live rather than living to work. I can answer this question from the [admittedly outsider's] perspective of my wife's situation.

    She did her residency and first couple years as a clinician in NYC. Very much thrived in the challenge and a lot of the cutting edge aspects of it, but was getting burned out from the 70+ hour work weeks. While having exhausted the charm NYC has to offer was a big chunk of it, the burnout was a big reason she started applying for positions outside the city and state. She accepted a position in the Midwest, very much the antithesis of a city of 9 million people. She suddenly had a reliable 8 - 5 job, but it was dramatically slower. Not as much going on. No significant tech advancements or niche cases to check off the bucket list. Being honest, she struggled with it-- a lot. Her biggest reason for pursuing NYC and a pretty prestigious clinic was to fast-track her way to her own practice. While I can't personally relate, I can understand that it probably takes a lot to transition to an attitude of fulfillment through your personal life rather than depending on your professional.

    I've always been big on the idea of buying and developing land for self-sustenance and just having something incredibly tangible of your own to cultivate. Granted, she makes good money (fortunately comparable to previous pay despite the dramatically lower cost of living), and I make plenty decent money. I'm not saying it's a universal solution, but insofar as we can, I've been selling her on the idea. Now it was part of the deal to me agreeing to relocate to an area I wasn't terribly enthused about just based on location, but she definitely wasn't excited about it. Was more of a cost of business thing. Now she's got an entire array of beekeeping and homesteading books. We're sitting on a big chunk of savings, actively looking for the right parcel to pop up and viewing various sites. And we're both really excited to make the leap. It's night-and-day between her initial reservations and lack of enthusiasm and now the conversations she's having in front of friends about it.

    Obviously you don't have to go in for a multitude of acres, goats, and gardens, but I'd say it's very much worth looking into something lasting which you feel would be worth investing in and which you think may give you a sense of personal achievement within your personal life.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    London, UK
    Age
    48
    Posts
    3,198
    Gender
    Male
    Does it make you happy? Feel fulfilled? Is it a stepping stone to a better life, or the usual life sentence of earning money to pay off the credit card you put all the stuff you think you need on (y'know, the capitalism cycle).

    Near 10 years ago, I made the decision to 'go live on a sailboat', longterm backpack was my version. That was and still is the most fulfilling thing I ever did. Forget the career that spends my life earning money for other people then retiring in front of the TV.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    N/A
    Posts
    2,236
    A great exercise to go through, if you haven't, is to document how much you actually NEED monetarily, versus how you want.

    This is budgeting 101. You list out all your expenses and income. This sets the basis for what you are willing to let go of for potential life balance.

    I think everyone should do this every so often. It can be a real wake up call to see how much the budget can creep.

    To answer your question about a career not living up to our dream.... I have definitely made career moves and then they weren't as great as I thought they'd be.... and it's definitely a disappointment.

    In those moments, I focus on what do actually like and not like about the work and then figure out what it would take to make it do-able.

    Do-able changes usually meant limiting over time and setting boundaries with my boss. It rarely was more money.

    If it is not do-able, I started working on an exit strategy. That's were the budget aspect really helps....

    Exit strategies can help strike the balance between working and giving yourself enough time to work on the next step. For example, taking a lower paid job, with less demand, so then I can take classes at night to change fields.

    Its always going to come down to you changing what you don't like about life. It is your life, you are the only one that can change it.

    So don't throw it all away.... start making a plan. Sometimes just knowing I'm working on changing something makes it more bearable...

    And you know what they say, God helps those that help themselves.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    37,591
    Gender
    Male
    Sorry to hear this. Unfortunately burn-out can happen. Dream jobs, intense jobs...just about every job can experience burn-out. Even though jobs may be the source the key is to diffuse this by mixing up what happens outside of work. Take some classes or courses at the local university, volunteer, join some groups and clubs. Mixing up the routine and rut can help decrease the feeling of burn-out.

    Plan a brief vacation, get a change of scene. It's the daily grind without much reward that can lead to this. So build up the reward aspect by adding more pleasurable and interesting things to look forward to in your down time. Tedium is stressful.
    Originally Posted by Clio
    Basically, sometimes I feel quite fed up with my current career and I feel that all the stress is literally hurting my health. I feel like I have no work-life balance at all.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    2,637
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by SarahLancaster
    What makes you stay in this career? The money and prestige? Do those outweigh your mental health? Will your job always be like this? Are there other options in your field to perhaps scale down your work hours and still make a good living?
    I stay due to the prestige, the sense of achievement it offers me at times and because I have not come up with a more enticing alternative. If I get the promotion I have been working towards, my current job will become even more demanding though. The other option is much less demanding mentally but low prestige and can be stressful physically and psychologically. The money is not so much the problem as the fact that I would have to put up with difficult people, physical stressors, working on shifts and in general lots of crap at times. Basically, I need to come up with a plan C.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    N/A
    Posts
    2,236
    Originally Posted by Clio
    I stay due to the prestige, the sense of achievement it offers me at times and because I have not come up with a more enticing alternative. If I get the promotion I have been working towards, my current job will become even more demanding though. The other option is much less demanding mentally but low prestige and can be stressful physically and psychologically. The money is not so much the problem as the fact that I would have to put up with difficult people, physical stressors, working on shifts and in general lots of crap at times. Basically, I need to come up with a plan C.
    that's a lot to deal with for prestige. I know people do things for the prestige. I'm curious and I'm not asking this to be snarky or smart or to judge you, but....

    why do you need the prestige? What does it actually do or get you?

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    2,637
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by j.man
    Obviously you don't have to go in for a multitude of acres, goats, and gardens, but I'd say it's very much worth looking into something lasting which you feel would be worth investing in and which you think may give you a sense of personal achievement within your personal life.
    Thank you for your perspective. I envy you both :) All the best! I think that my problem is that the last four years, I have had no personal life at all. I changed cities and jobs and that lead to a dramatic shrinkage of my immediate social support system. I think that if I had a partner/ family of my own, I would deal with certain aspects of my current experience in a more balanced way but it is what it is. The answer could indeed be seeking out a sense of personal achievement in alternative nonwork-related ways.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •