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Thread: Advice wanted

  1. #1
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    Advice wanted

    Meet a man about a month ago started talking then meet, the date went fine, he messaged me about half an hour after asking when we could meet again. Next day, didnt message much, i made a comment about it not being a good sign he said im just busy i replied with its fine then he messaged i dont think i have time for a relationship. I replied ok. That was a week ago, havent heard from since. Normally i wouldnt be bothered but for some reason this time i am, im not sure why. I just dont understand how easy its been for him to stop talking to me, did he like me but just not enough to be with me, was he talking to someone else and gave me the relationship excuse so he could keep me on the back burner, surely he would of messaged by now if he was going to message again, he said to me that people say they like each other and then just stop talking but thats exactly what hes done to me.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    You pushed too hard, too fast. He didn't do as you wanted after the first date, you pressured him.

    Dating is meant to be fun, and you made it work. There shouldn't be any criteria about how soon he sets up another date or even texts you after the first date.

    Try to be more laid back and not take things so seriously. You barely gave the guy a chance.

  3. #3
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    I think because hed been messaging so much before the date when he went quiet the day after the date i panicked and ruined it on purpose before he could do it., reading your comment i realised what i did

  4. #4
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    It was a first date. People need time to think things through, new relationships can be daunting and sometimes scary (even for guys)...you're opening yourself up to someone.
    It might have been the case too that he truly was busy and you didn't believe him, which made him unhappy. But being as it was so new, it made him run.

    It's okay to be nervous and worried at least to some degree when a relationship is new. The key is not to let the other person know or try to pressure or control how it goes.
    You liked him a lot, you were scared he didn't like you back as much, so you started pressuring him. I think lots of people do the same thing..it's not easy being vulnerable.

    Maybe next time around, try to play it more cool. Give the guy a chance. Yes, there are going to be some jerks out there, but not all of them will be.

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  6. #5
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    I forgot that after i put ok he wrote back saying hey at least we tried, thinking about it now your right i didnt give it chance to play out weather it would of been positive or negative. I do wish i hadnt of done what i did, hes the first man i liked since my ex maybe thats why i put pressure on it.

  7. #6
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    [QUOTE=Joanne1985;7199861]Meet a man about a month ago started talking then meet, the date went fine, he messaged me about half an hour after asking when we could meet again. Next day, didnt message much, i made a comment about it not being a good sign

    It doesn't sound too bad, what exactly did you say?

  8. #7
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    You came off as sounding insecure and needy. Hell, it was only one date and you said: "i made a comment about it not being a good sign."

    Don't do this again.

  9. #8
    Bronze Member Eliza50's Avatar
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    A first date is just that. It's not the beginning of a relationship. I agree with the other posters that you shouldn't have made any comment about his texting habits. I would have felt pressured, too, even if I liked the guy. What you should have done and what you should do the next time you meet someone is to be more laid back and let things take their course.

  10. #9
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    [QUOTE=DaisyMayPorter;7199878]
    Originally Posted by Joanne1985
    Meet a man about a month ago started talking then meet, the date went fine, he messaged me about half an hour after asking when we could meet again. Next day, didnt message much, i made a comment about it not being a good sign

    It doesn't sound too bad, what exactly did you say?
    I said we havent spoke much today, i dont think thats a good sign

  11. #10
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    Do you think its worth messaging him, should probably mention i deleted him off facebook

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