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Thread: I think my boss is sexually attracted to me

  1. #1
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    I think my boss is sexually attracted to me

    I've worked with my boss for 9 months. I'm a 24 yo lady and he's around 43 (divorced with 2 kids).

    Ever since day 1 there has been sexual tension between us. He is nice, handsome, sexy and very understating (I've always had a crush on him, and I'm sure I'm not the only one because he's charming!) He has shown special interest in me, but lately he started acting sexual towards me.

    - He always prefers to text me at night, and sometimes after midnight (when he's horny) he starts sexting me but not directly. For example, he sends me inappropriate emojis that show he would love to sleep with me
    - He notices my clothes, eyes and body (he complimented my body twice but not in a weird way)
    - He looks at my hands, fingers, toes when I talk to him
    - He calls me special nicknames
    - I make him laugh and he loves it
    - He trusts me and asks for my opinion
    - Sometimes he asks me to stay longer so he can have a one-to-one conversation with me
    - One day he left work early and I didn't know so I texted him saying I needed to talk to him and he actually came all the way back just for me
    - If I walked into the office without saying hi to him with a big smile, he would act cold with me the whole day

    Also, the CEO once wanted to move me to another department because they needed more employees there, and my boss actually refused! He told the CEO (his manager) that he wouldn't let me go.

    I don't know if that means he likes me or just sexually attracted to me but either way I still haven't reacted to his sexual behavior yet because I'm not sure what to do, I just ignore it now. I mean it's obvious that I like him but I also want to keep my job, I don't wanna ruin my relationship with him. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What do you want to happen? Do you want an office romance with him or do you feel sexting you late at night is sexual harassment? He may want sexual favors but a man who respects you and has integrity does not act this way as your supervisor. It sounds like you even find this flattering and enjoy this type of disrespectful attention. Why don't you have a bf outside of work?

    It's up to you to decide if you want to file sexual a harassment case or be the center of office gossip and speculation. Either way it would be a good idea to keep your resume up to date. Unfortunately because you welcome his sexual advances this much he will walk away from this and you will have to deal with the fall out of accepting sexual texts and coming onto him.

    Is this the same guy?: [Register to see the link]
    Originally Posted by four
    I've worked with my boss for 9 months. I'm a 24 yo lady and he's around 43 (divorced with 2 kids).


    - He always prefers to text me at night, and sometimes after midnight (when he's horny) he starts sexting me but not directly.
    I mean it's obvious that I like him but I also want to keep my job, I don't wanna ruin my relationship with him.

  3. #3
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    There is a lot of room for interpretation in much of what you wrote, but a couple things jumped out at me:

    What sort of sexual emojis is he sending you?

    What did he say about your body?

    You need to tread very carefully here. Sleeping with the boss is not wise and could backfire in a serious way.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Are you sexually attracted to your boss? Do you want to get physically involved with him? Are you willing to risk your job if you are interested in a sexual relationship with him?

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  6. #5
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    You say he 'always prefers to text you at night.' That suggests that you entertain his texts every night, even though you say you ignore him.

    If you think there's a possibility for a relationship, you're deluding yourself. He wants sex, and then he'll drop you when he gets tired.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    He sends you inappropriate emojis at night? He sounds way too immature and dumb for his age. He should care more about the financial obligations he has towards his 2 kids and stop playing fire with his job. You sound the smarter of the two and given your ages that is a glaring red flag right there.

  8. #7
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    i would apply for the job the CEO wanted you for and i would get out of that department. I would also apply for other jobs.

    I hope that you did not respond to these late night texts so no one can prove that you were a consenting participant (sexting right back at him, flirting, initiatating), and i would report him to HR. If you DID flirt with him, instigate and send sexy texts also, then you are a willing participant.

    You need to learn how to shut people down also. If someone texts you late, you are free to set boundaries -- do not respond late. Tell them "please stop texting me" et.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    You have a history of thinking guys at work like you (or of liking guys at work):
    [Register to see the link]

    I would suggest looking for other places to meet men.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    He wants to have sex with you. But it has nothing to do with emotions or caring about you. You're a young body and he wants to take advantage.
    He's already had the wife and the babies, so he is over it. He won't be looking for that kind of relationship with you, it will purely be using your for sex.

    The age difference alone should have tipped you off as to what his intentions are. You could be his daughter! So what else would he want with you but your body?

    I am telling you this so that you won't allow this man to take advantage. He is someone in power who has no right to be behaving this way. He will use and abuse you and toss you when he's done.
    If you don't believe it, you can venture down that path and find out for yourself. But it will ruin a part of who you are.

    If you were going to deal with this the correct way, you should be telling a supervisor or HIS boss what is going on. He has no right to be acting this was with his subordinate.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    If I walked into the office without saying hi to him with a big smile, he would act cold with me the whole day
    There you go. He doesn't give a rats butt about you. You entertain him for the time being and if you don't, he won't give you a second thought.

    The way he is treating you isn't something to be flattered about.

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