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Thread: Unsure how to deal with a girl who isnt ready?

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by lenovo
    Theres no investment, it's more like ahhh i finally clicked with someone i wanted to learn more about and see more than twice which doesnt happen alot and she's headed.
    You said you were gutted....

  2. #12
    Silver Member Skeptic76's Avatar
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    I get it. And I actually applaud OP for making himself vulnerable to some disappointment by opening himself to the possibility of creating something meaningful with someone he clicked right away with.

    In the time of swipe culture when people are super jaded, guarded and always looking for a “better” person/fall back option it takes heart and guts to genuinely “go for it” with a person you feel chemistry with.

    This time the risk didn’t pay out for OP and he got a let down - but in my experience the most desirable women can only be moved by a bold and decisive man...so I hope he doesn’t let this one trip him up on his dating path....

  3. #13
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    If you're "gutted" after two dates, I suggest asking yourself why.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    If you're "gutted" after two dates, I suggest asking yourself why.
    Because i've been a loads of decent dates over the years but its rare to click with someone that i want to see them more than twice. So when you find someone you click with and they like you too but have issues still in their mind from a previous relationship that is a bit gutting. Don't take gutted too literally, im not crying about it...anyway i've deleted her number now no point keeping it.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    One of the first questions to work in on a first date is how long since her last breakup? If it's recent, I'd tell her at the end of the date that you really like her and can picture the two of you dating in the future. That's why you're stepping away while you both still think highly of one another. She gets to work out her old ghosts, and if she finds herself completely healed and ready to pursue dating for a new relationship in a few months, she can contact you. If you're still available then, you can meet to catch up. Otherwise, you wish her the best.

    Dating anyone prematurely is rebound territory. It sets you up to play an emotional band aid to be discarded once the rebounder is healed and whole, "and you're such a great guy, but I really should have taken the time to find myself after my breakup..."

    Skip that, and screen new dates to opt out of the rebound mess. You'll thank yourself later.

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