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Thread: Interested in someone

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Two unethical people getting together. Do they deserve each other? Perhaps. Will it blow up in their faces? 100 percent guaranteed.

    Neither of you practice relationship boundaries. If she has marital problems, she should be speaking to her husband about that issue, and maybe confide in a girlfriend. NOT to a cute guy co-worker who she is reeling into her messy universe.

    And you need to treat her as any other co-worker. You are attracted to her and have fantasies about her, so she's the last person in the work place you should exchange contact info with.

    If your significant other were a fly on the wall wherever you are, and could see everything you're doing and saying to this other woman, would you still be doing it? If not, it's a clear sign you're crossing relationship boundaries.

    And let' s say you broke up with your gf and got together with this co-worker. Are you that dumb to think she wouldn't do the same thing to you, that when the newness wore off, that she wouldn't be complaining about you to another guy and flirting with him on social media? When a person shows you what they are capable of, and how they operate, believe them the first time.

    My advice? Either put your full focus on your gf to reignite the spark, or break up with her. Tell the co-worker you've made a mistake about exchanging contact info, and that you two need to go back to just being co-workers. And then vow to be a person with better ethics in the future. You'll have a higher risk of success in romance that way, and you won't wind up on 48 Hours Mystery as the victim in a love triangle.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Your poor gf. You told her and she laughed... she must really trust you and the relationship. Believe me, when I say this, that is a credit to her, not you.

    I find what you're doing despicable. The insecurity you are creating in your gf, will be a challenge for her for a long time.

    Stop being selfish. Don't cheat and if you don't want to be a relationship with your gf, then end it. Don't make it about the other woman. Be an adult. Don't use people satisfy your own ego.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    You and everyone else runs into someone they hit it off sometime in their life...but the majority don't act on it. Usually when it happens all of a sudden the relationship they are in is bad or having trouble blah blah blah. That's them making excuses to keep the attention going...kinda like an addiction. They will do and say almost anything to feel that desire. Then you yourself start to make excuses, and use them as an escape, a fantasy, dreamland, whatever you call it. It's thrilling, gives you a high, with all the flirtation, the close to the line just barely stepping over it. It's the Dopamine talking, not reason. Everyone is right, you need to step away from this before things all around you fall apart. You are not thinking straight. Go clear your head and focus on other things that bring you joy. Before you know it you will be glad you did, and be relieved you avoided a stupid mess.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    How seriously do you take your job, and how seriously do you want to be taken on the job?

    Using lousy social judgment can be a career killer.

    If you want more friends, find stuff to do outside of work, and you will meet potential friends outside of work.

    If you find your relationship with your GF unfulfilling, you don't need to create a crisis to get out of that.

    Think carefully and behave accordingly. Never feign stupidity about your motivations.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Be careful with coworkers and married women. Either of those situations could spell trouble. Fantasizing about someone does not solve the issues with this gf. If anything it could generate unfavorable office gossip or worse, she (or her husband) gets fed up and to cover her butt she files a sexual harassment case.

    Is this the same GF?: [Register to see the link]
    Originally Posted by Orbital
    Yes, Iíve told my gf that I have a crush on her. She just kinda laughs it off.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by Orbital
    I am by no means saying I want to end someoneís marriage, and I donít want to hurt my gf. I love her, but we do fight quite a bit. I canít help thinking about this person though...even if it is completely unrealistic or unlikely that we can become anything more than what we are. I donít know what to do.
    You and your girlfriend are fighting quite a bit. The next logical step would be to either work on your current relationship or end it. You are, however, postponing this uncomfortable step by thinking of your co-worker and entertaining the slightest possibility of your co-worker being interested in you.

    What are you guys fighting about?

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