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Thread: Why did he message?

  1. #1

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    Why did he message?

    Dated newly divorced guy for 6 months.He then said he didn't know what he wanted and that he wasn't ready for a relationship and although he kept contacting me didn't seem to want to keep saying so I told him to stop contacting me until he knew what he wanted and if he then wanted to see me again and I was still single we could talk about it.Now 6 months later he has texted apologising for his actions saying he had been confused.He hopes I find someone who appreciates me if I haven't already.He didn't ask to see me again but then started asking me my holiday plans and to let him know if I need his help in fixing my car (he is a mechanic).I didn't take him up on that offer yet.What is he up to?Does he just want to be friends?Surely if he wanted to meet he just would have asked?I still like this guy but don't want to put myself on the line by getting back in touch only for him to say he's not interested in me.

  2. #2
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    What do you want?

    To try again? Friendship? Be rid of him?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    I would just respond politely and move on. If he's interested in something more he'll have to do more than just send a random text.
    Don't do anything. You'll have your answer soon enough.
    If he continues to text and he doesn't say something more concrete, then I might ask him if anything has recently changed, because you still feel the same way about not wanting to have contact if it hasn't.

  4. #4
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    I would tread lightly with him. If it were me in your place I wouldn't respond to him at all. He doesn't know what he wants and re-connecting with him will only hurt you because you want something from him that he can't provide.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    I've never once taken back an ex. In my mind, if I took the major step of breaking up, I thought long and hard about it and made the decision for a good reason. If he broke up with me, I know that past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior, and he'd dump me all over again once the newness wore off of the rekindling.

    There's nothing special about an ex making contact after a certain time period. Just about every ex I've had has done so, before I had the technology to block them, which I would've done, every time, if I'd had the capability.

    He's fishing for an ego boost and possibly a booty call without ties. If he was really a changed man, he would've said: I made a huge mistake because of xxx. If you are still single and want to give dating me another chance, I'd be really happy.
    ,
    IMO, I'd rather risk my heart on someone new. The right person will never let you go. Not even once.

  7. #6
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    He wants to keep you warm in case he decides he's ready for something more.

    The problem for you is that this is not a fulfilling way to live, and there is little security in dating someone in such an uncertain state. I would stop replying to him.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    He's having a dry spell and taking a stab at a hookup.. If he were interested he wold not have ended it nor would he mention he hopes you have found someone else. What he is saying is he's playing the field, enjoying his freedom and does not want the type of relationship you want.

    Delete and block him if you want the confusion to stop. This way you can date men who are ready willing and able to date not newly divorced and spreading their wings.
    Originally Posted by Odiug
    Dated newly divorced guy for 6 months. Now 6 months later he has texted apologising for his actions saying he had been confused.He hopes I find someone who appreciates me if I haven't already.

  9. #8

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    Yes,I didn't reply for days after his first message as I didn't know if I wanted to.I don't know should I accept his offer of help and see what happens or better to leave it rather than being disappointed if I find he just wants to be friendly only or hasn't changed.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What are you hoping changes?
    Originally Posted by Odiug
    I find he just wants to be friendly only or hasn't changed.

  11. #10

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    That he wants to date seriously I guess....

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