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Thread: Why did he message?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    If that were the case it would be crystal clear. He would ask you out and ask to reconcile. A vague casual text does not indicate seriousness. Hopefully you are dating others that want what you want. Recently divorced people have a lot to sort out and therefore it's confusing to be in their mess.
    Originally Posted by Odiug
    That he wants to date seriously I guess....

  2. #12

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    If that were the case it would be crystal clear. He would ask you out and ask to reconcile. A vague casual text does not indicate seriousness. Hopefully you are dating others that want what you want. Recently divorced people have a lot to sort out and therefore it's confusing to be in their mess.
    I know logically you are right.I just don't understand why he got in touch at all then.Especially after so long and especially when I said only contact me if you want to see me.Perhaps he just felt guilty for treating me badly.I am dating others but unfortunately none have interested me as much as this guy so far.Bit yeah I know I need to move on from this or it will send me nuts.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    He probably struck out with whoever he was last dating, just as he did with you. Excellent you are dating others. Keep in mind he contacted you so this is about what's going on for him not for you.
    Originally Posted by Odiug
    I just don't understand why he got in touch at all then.Especially after so long and especially when I said only contact me if you want to see me.Perhaps he just felt guilty for treating me badly.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Remember, he had it in him to tell you directly that he didnt want to date. You know he's capable of telling it like it is.

    Expect no less than him to be equally direct about his intentions for contacting you now, especially after you having asked him not to.

    Do you know for sure he's been single all this time? Is it possible he really met someone else and it didnt work out? I may be wrong but at the same time I wouldnt be surprised.

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  6. #15

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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    Remember, he had it in him to tell you directly that he didnt want to date. You know he's capable of telling it like it is.

    Expect no less than him to be equally direct about his intentions for contacting you now, especially after you having asked him not to.

    Do you know for sure he's been single all this time? Is it possible he really met someone else and it didnt work out? I may be wrong but at the same time I wouldnt be surprised.
    He didn't actually tell me he didn't want to date me anymore-but his actions said it all.The last time we met he seemed really depressed (think it was divorce stuff but I wasn't going to be his shrink) and after that he kept contacting me but didn't arrange to meet again and when I brought up lack of plans he said he needed time so I told him to take all the time he needed and I'd continue on my way without him.I don't think he met anyone but as you say,you never know.

  7. #16

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    He probably struck out with whoever he was last dating, just as he did with you. Excellent you are dating others. Keep in mind he contacted you so this is about what's going on for him not for you.

    Yes,I realize the issue is with him but from my perspective it would've been better if he'd just left it alone.Now he has me wondering-never a nice place to be!

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Yes,I realize the issue is with him but from my perspective it would've been better if he'd just left it alone.Now he has me wondering-never a nice place to be! Exactly. He doesn't care that he has put you back to square one. A kind person doesn't do this. Block his number.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    In all fairness. . he may very well have needed some time to sort things out. It doesn't make him a monster with bad intentions.
    It's up to you what you are comfortable with.
    If it were me, I'd go back to my original advise. Be polite. Keep it brief and if it continues without any sort of solid effort to get back on track, I'd tell him that nothing had changed since we last spoke. That constant contact with nothing to show for it isn't something I'd be interested in. Wish him well and move on.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Why did he message you? Simply put because you told him that he can. It could be because he is hoping to rekindle something or simply because he is fishing for attention or feeling lonely or feels bad about how things ended...or...or...or...anyone's guess really. If you want to know what he is after, ask him. Just straight up bluntly ask him. Save you all this anxiety about what if.

  11. #20

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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    Why did he message you? Simply put because you told him that he can. It could be because he is hoping to rekindle something or simply because he is fishing for attention or feeling lonely or feels bad about how things ended...or...or...or...anyone's guess really. If you want to know what he is after, ask him. Just straight up bluntly ask him. Save you all this anxiety about what if.
    Yes,I only meant him to message me again if he wanted to see me!Surely he would have understood that!

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