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Thread: My ex-boyfriend wonít stop hitting on my best friend/roommate. What do I do?

  1. #21
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    I definitely think that there is more to the story than I originally thought. Unfortunately she is a known liar and will probably never be honest with me. I am going to work on distancing myself slowly. Unfortunately all of my other friends are also friends with her, so it will not be too easy for me to get out of the friendship. Thank you for the advice.
    Originally Posted by Lambert
    I usually err on side of caution. So don't jump to conclusions.

    This is a best friend... when you are alone and hanging out, tell her something has been bothering you and you want to hear what actually happened with the ex boyfriend.

    LISTEN MORE THAN TALK!

    That will tell you what you need to know. Keep asking open ended questions... like how did he start talking to her? How often was this going on? What were her thoughts? What does she think is his game? How would she handle this if she were you?

    Unfortunately, she's gotta be a snake before you accuse her.

    Gage how this convo goes... start thinking about how you can distance yourself from her. Do you have any friends that are not friends with her?

    Lean on those friends. That's why its always good to have lots of groups of friends... makes for easy exits with very little suspicion.

    Totally sucks. I know. Hang in there.

  2. #22
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    Yes, she has been acting extremely shady in regards to this whole thing. I am definitely going to start distancing myself. Thank you for the advice.
    Originally Posted by Honeycomb8
    She should have shut that down and continued to stonewall. This is not okay and I would distance myself from her.

  3. #23
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    Yup, she has done a lot of questionable things in the past and doesn't seem to be a genuine friend. I'm going to start distancing myself from her for sure.
    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Dump her, too! Terrible! She broke the girl code.

  4. #24
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    I definitely think that is the case. She has been acting incredibly shady and secretive lately and I truly suspect that something has been going on. I am just going to start distancing myself from her. Thank you for the advice.
    Originally Posted by milly007
    I agree that chatting with your friend before making any hasty decisions and jumping to conclusions first is a good idea. Think about what you want to ask before you approach her.

    I think your spidey senses could be right though, and I wouldn't be surprised if your friend has been fuelling your ex's advances & enjoying the attention. At least, that's the impression I'm getting from your post.

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  6. #25
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    Yeah, ultimately I can't control who either of them talk to but I will certainly not be friends with her if she actually tries to continue this or lets it continue. I just don't see any reason in the world that a so-called "friend" would be entertaining the advances of my ex. I think breaking off the friendship is my best option at this point. Thank you for the advice.
    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    All adults being equal, I'd allow others to manage their own interactions as I stay out of it. I'd tell friend that my ex is an ex for a reason, so we can talk about anything in the world but him, and I'd ask her to agree that he never ends up in our home. Then whatever happens can happen without my knowledge or concern.

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by StarKitten
    Yeah, ultimately I can't control who either of them talk to but I will certainly not be friends with her if she actually tries to continue this or lets it continue. I just don't see any reason in the world that a so-called "friend" would be entertaining the advances of my ex. I think breaking off the friendship is my best option at this point. Thank you for the advice.
    Instead of driving yourself nuts about this, why not just tell her that you don't want to hear another word about him, and if he contacts her again, it's up to her to deal with that as she sees fit and not to tell you anything about it.

    It makes no sense to position yourself as the text police for other people. As long as they agree to keep the guy out of YOUR conversations and out of your home, then you can ride your own wave forward and quit any concerns about other people's business.

    Examine your own participation, and change THAT.

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