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Thread: Bf hasn't planned anything for Valentines.

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by DaisyMayPorter
    You shouldn’t buy guys so many gifts so early on. You should be letting him come to you, give to you, but you dinner. not buying for him, giving to him, etc. Why are you buying him gifts anyway, was there a special occasion?

    Also you mentioned that you contribute 50% to the relationship—if you’re not going out to dinners, what are you doing? Does HE buy YOU gifts?

    I'm hoping i've misread your post but that sounds incredibly sexist and outdated. Why SHOULD he be buying her everything? A relationship is 2 people working together and sharing everything. A womans time isn't more precious than a mans or vice versa.

    I may have read it wrong but that just sounds like entitlement to me.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Early dating is a screening process. We learn about whether someone is a good match for us, or not. If you don't feel valued by someone, what should that tell you?

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
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    I guess if we feel that the only value we are to a person is the thickness of our wallets, then we should not continue to date that person.

  4. #14
    Bronze Member Spawn's Avatar
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    why dont you surprise him with something nice

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  6. #15
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    Well the thing is it's not Valentine's Day yet and I think you're actually over reacting. Some people like to surprise their partner, or don't necessarily want to do anything, but still give some flowers or chocolates or something. It makes sense that he wouldn't have given you a gift yet because you give your partner a gift ON Valentine's Day, not the day before. I also think when you've only been with someone for three months that it's still early days and you don't necessarily have to do something big for Valentine's. But I think that a woman also has to get a guy something and can plan something herself too. I mean, you got him nothing so far, right? So he could think the same thing about you...?

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    If you are together everyday, why wouldn't you just ask?

    3 mos of almost everyday, I would think you'd be able to talk about something kinda trivial. Its your first Valentine's day together. What's the expectations on both sides? Actually, how has it not come up?

    I dated a guy, he announced one day, he didn't buy xmas gifts. And I just told him flat out, that's ridiculous. if its xmas, you're not gonna buy me a gift? The odd thing was he did give me a couple gifts and paid for dates etc while we were dating. So whatever...

    I kinda let that situation fizzle out. It was obvious to me that xmas would not be fun with this guy... I like exchanging gifts on Xmas. (so psycho of me, i know. lol)

    If VD is a let down, then you know, this isn't the guy for you... Do something nice for yourself and be happy anyway... A guy's effort is a reflection of him, not you....

    Sad to tell you, that guy that treated you like a princess, yeah him. He treats all his gfs like princesses because that's him. This current guy, if he lacks effort with you, he lacks effort with all his gfs.

    Sometimes we take responsibility for how someone else acts... but that's not quite right. You are responsible for how you allow yourself to be treated... if someone doesn't treat you the way you want, you leave. You don't try to manipulate them or try to change them, that will just make you crazy.

  8. #17
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Men love romantic surprises too. Valentine’s is also their day.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by ninjabib
    I'm hoping i've misread your post but that sounds incredibly sexist and outdated. Why SHOULD he be buying her everything? A relationship is 2 people working together and sharing everything. A womans time isn't more precious than a mans or vice versa.

    I may have read it wrong but that just sounds like entitlement to me.
    It's not entitlement, and it's not sexist or outdated at all. Yes, I believe that a woman should not be buying a guy several gifts at the beginning of a relationship. If you give give give to a guy at the beginning and are not getting anything in return, then the guy will get used to receiving gifts from her, and perhaps not give anything in return. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by DaisyMayPorter
    It's not entitlement, and it's not sexist or outdated at all. Yes, I believe that a woman should not be buying a guy several gifts at the beginning of a relationship. If you give give give to a guy at the beginning and are not getting anything in return, then the guy will get used to receiving gifts from her, and perhaps not give anything in return. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?
    Yes but exactly the same goes if a guy is always buying a woman gifts and it's not reciprocated! Unfortunately sometimes people are still too stuck in gender roles. I just find it interesting that OP didn't get her boyfriend a gift or anything but she's upset HE hasn't planned anything (that we know of). Isn't that double standard?

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What if it's a surprise? 🙀💟

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