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Thread: Typical reaction to stress?

  1. #11
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    There's a difference between being concerned for a friend's health and becoming a paranoid hypochondriac.

    I think you did the right thing by trying to minimize your symptoms. And perhaps cite some statistics to her about the likelihood of coming in contact with the corona virus on a domestic flight.

    The cold and flu season will be over soon, and then maybe things will go back to normal. In the meantime, don't tell her anything about your health!

  2. #12
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    Hello love ,

    so my take on it ......

    She is having a mental health response to his sudden death ( regardless of her leaving him and the rest of it ) and also regardless of her having diagnosed mental health issues ...as you know anyone can have a * mental health * response as they go through life .

    You are her world right now , you are helping her through some pretty deep stuff and she wants to protect you ....yes neurotically , but born out of love I am sure ......she wants to wrap those around her in cotton wool and keep them safe because she has just had that kind of shock of loss right in her face and it don't half make you think ! ( do you remember my best friend passing suddenly in her sleep last year ) it makes you realise we are mere mortals and there aint a thing we can do to change that .

    The Coronavirus is getting a lot of press and it is enough to make one paranoid . I don't know if you are getting it on your news but my city is housing evacuees ..just round the corner from me and then we all got a text from our GP'S surgery saying if we come into contact with anyone from Europe we must NOT go into the doctors surgery ....where did my emily go this morning with her mates for a joint 21st celebration ....Europe ..they landed in Berlin this morning . It really is enough to send a person round the bend when you start thinking about it all .

    So to conclude ...she is vulnerable to loss right now and wants to protect you ..mixed with the scare mongering regarding the corona her poor mind has gone on overdrive .

    Be kind but firm ..tell her it is setting your mind tipple tailing and lets try not to dwell on these things .

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by pippy longstocking
    Hello love ,

    so my take on it ......

    She is having a mental health response to his sudden death ( regardless of her leaving him and the rest of it ) and also regardless of her having diagnosed mental health issues ...as you know anyone can have a * mental health * response as they go through life .

    You are her world right now , you are helping her through some pretty deep stuff and she wants to protect you ....yes neurotically , but born out of love I am sure ......she wants to wrap those around her in cotton wool and keep them safe because she has just had that kind of shock of loss right in her face and it don't half make you think ! ( do you remember my best friend passing suddenly in her sleep last year ) it makes you realise we are mere mortals and there aint a thing we can do to change that .

    The Coronavirus is getting a lot of press and it is enough to make one paranoid . I don't know if you are getting it on your news but my city is housing evacuees ..just round the corner from me and then we all got a text from our GP'S surgery saying if we come into contact with anyone from Europe we must NOT go into the doctors surgery ....where did my emily go this morning with her mates for a joint 21st celebration ....Europe ..they landed in Berlin this morning . It really is enough to send a person round the bend when you start thinking about it all .

    So to conclude ...she is vulnerable to loss right now and wants to protect you ..mixed with the scare mongering regarding the corona her poor mind has gone on overdrive .

    Be kind but firm ..tell her it is setting your mind tipple tailing and lets try not to dwell on these things .
    So so helpful. Thank you. I don't know if she has mental health issues in general and I get exactly what you are saying. She lives close by and so far no risks from coronavirus or the evacuees. So far. I think catfeeder is so right -all this kind of health symptom talk is setting everyone off in general!

    Again so sorry about your loss.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    I can only speak for myself, but when I am stressed, my anxiety goes up. When one's anxiety is high everything seems to be on high alert.
    That may be what's going on for her.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    I can only speak for myself, but when I am stressed, my anxiety goes up. When one's anxiety is high everything seems to be on high alert.
    That may be what's going on for her.
    Yes that happens to me as well, I agree!

  7. #16
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    A lot of people do this so much so that I wouldn't label it as a mental health issue. Basically when a lot of big bad things are happening, some people will fixate on one small little bitty thing and obsessively so. It's a form of escapism and avoidance really at least temporarily. The mind going - I don't want to process the big bad things right now so I'm going to fixate on this little non-issue issue instead. It's not necessarily a healthy way to deal with stress, but very very common.

    Just tell her you are doing OK and redirect conversation to pretty much anything else, preferably either positive or some kind of easy going neutral topics. It will help her more and give her some mental respite.

  8. #17
    Silver Member BecxyRex's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by pippy longstocking

    The Coronavirus is getting a lot of press and it is enough to make one paranoid . I don't know if you are getting it on your news but my city is housing evacuees ..just round the corner from me and then we all got a text from our GP'S surgery saying if we come into contact with anyone from Europe we must NOT go into the doctors surgery ....where did my emily go this morning with her mates for a joint 21st celebration ....Europe ..they landed in Berlin this morning .
    Just curious, why avoid Europe? There haven't been any confirmed cases in Berlin or did I miss something?

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    So so helpful. Thank you. I don't know if she has mental health issues in general and I get exactly what you are saying. She lives close by and so far no risks from coronavirus or the evacuees. So far. I think catfeeder is so right -all this kind of health symptom talk is setting everyone off in general!

    Again so sorry about your loss.
    Yes I agree , it can cause hysteria in the best of people unless you try and switch off from it .

    Thankyou kindly xx

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by BecxyRex
    Just curious, why avoid Europe? There haven't been any confirmed cases in Berlin or did I miss something?
    yeah I don't know Becxy ....I am looking at my phone now to re read it and it says if you have been in contact with someone who has recently been Mainland China , Hong Kong or mainland Europe that you DO NOT attend the practice ..................so why Europe , really I don't know .

    Disclaimer so I don't add to anyones anxiety

    The above was simply from my Surgery not a world wide alert and probably my surgery trying to cover all basis and anything I have said must not be taken as a warning to any of you .

  11. #20
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    When someone loses someone that they relied on and seen as a support, or at least someone very familiar and someone they thought would be there for a long while yet, their world is rocked.
    They feel far less stable, they do have a lot more fear and they are now much more observant of threats that may force them to either lose someone else they care about or count on for support.

    That's typically a normal reaction to going through loss.
    Once you're already dealing with a significant amount of stress due to loss, you don't want to endure more, therefore you get anxiety over anything that might seem like a threat to cause you more stress.

    You're obviously very important to this woman. She sees you as someone stable in her life and now worries about you.
    I would try to have patience with it. She really is adjusting to her new reality and she's still fearful and has not found her footing.
    I feel for her, although she is an adult, it is quite daunting to feel more alone now, even if her partner was not the best.

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