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Thread: Bf slept with someone else before we were exclusive

  1. #31
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    One of my friends told me about a man I had doubts about but who wanted to marry me "oh just marry him so you can have a baby then divorce him" Ironically when she said this she was over the moon about her future husband. They married and had two kids and got divorced about 5 years ago -they both cheated.
    Geez she shouldn’t be giving any sort of advice.

  2. #32
    Member proseyxi's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ouidanslecie
    I felt so guilty for not being able to trust him because he has such great qualities (family oriented, hard working, very kind, generous, patient, understanding), everything that I’m looking for in a partner. But deep down, something felt off. I thought it was my insecurities at first but his indiscretion confirmed my gut instincts. What a scary yet fascinating thing.
    First of all ALWAYS USE PROTECTION!!!! Even if tested and found ok, what makes you certain he won`t catch anything after the test?

    Now *sigh*, good evening ouidanslecie.

    He betrayed your trust so early on, it is a legit deal breaker. He "liked" you so "much" to cry not to "loose" that he had sex with another woman just some weeks ago! No, just, no. If your morals and ethics and sense of respect don`t align, I suggest you #RUNFORRESTRUN. He had sex with another because you were not giving it to him?!? Who is he, casonova ... He reads to me like those men that sleep around because wife is pregnant. Disgusting.

    As for the great qualities you are afraid to loose, I think you know him very little to be able to confirm his character is such as you say. He most likely put on a show because it`s the honeymoon phase and all guys show their best behavior. Don`t feel guilty, belive me when I say you lost nothing. I know coz I`ve been there twice and very very recently. You can read my post if you like.

    As for your friends, their perception of morality and respect, what is acceptable or not, what they find normal or not, that is THEIR prespective. Yours is different. That`s why you don`t share brains or experiences. You will trust your opinions and your feelings, standards and morals to make a decision. Getting advice is good by imagine you are a housewife in the 50`s and your man just beat you. You can bet all your friends would say that it is normal and that you overreact. So, advice is also formed by social constructs and ideas. Cosmopolitan will say sleep around, a christian/muslim magazine will say save yourself for marriage etc... How will you listen to? I hope your beautiful mind <3

  3. #33
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    Originally Posted by proseyxi
    First of all ALWAYS USE PROTECTION!!!! Even if tested and found ok, what makes you certain he won`t catch anything after the test?

    Now *sigh*, good evening ouidanslecie.

    He betrayed your trust so early on, it is a legit deal breaker. He "liked" you so "much" to cry not to "loose" that he had sex with another woman just some weeks ago! No, just, no. If your morals and ethics and sense of respect don`t align, I suggest you #RUNFORRESTRUN. He had sex with another because you were not giving it to him?!? Who is he, casonova ... He reads to me like those men that sleep around because wife is pregnant. Disgusting.

    As for the great qualities you are afraid to loose, I think you know him very little to be able to confirm his character is such as you say. He most likely put on a show because it`s the honeymoon phase and all guys show their best behavior. Don`t feel guilty, belive me when I say you lost nothing. I know coz I`ve been there twice and very very recently. You can read my post if you like.

    As for your friends, their perception of morality and respect, what is acceptable or not, what they find normal or not, that is THEIR prespective. Yours is different. That`s why you don`t share brains or experiences. You will trust your opinions and your feelings, standards and morals to make a decision. Getting advice is good by imagine you are a housewife in the 50`s and your man just beat you. You can bet all your friends would say that it is normal and that you overreact. So, advice is also formed by social constructs and ideas. Cosmopolitan will say sleep around, a christian/muslim magazine will say save yourself for marriage etc... How will you listen to? I hope your beautiful mind <3
    Thank you for the support <3 I feel like I made the right decision. I was giving him intimacy but it seems it wasn’t enough for him ): I learned my lesson. Happy Friday and I hope you have a wonderful weekend <3

  4. #34
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    Originally Posted by Ouidanslecie
    Thank you for the support <3 I feel like I made the right decision. I was giving him intimacy but it seems it wasn’t enough for him ): I learned my lesson. Happy Friday and I hope you have a wonderful weekend <3
    You were each giving each other intimacy. It doesn't mean it wasn't enough for him -it simply means he chose to have intercourse over keeping his promise to you.

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  6. #35
    Member proseyxi's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ouidanslecie
    Thank you for the support <3 I feel like I made the right decision. I was giving him intimacy but it seems it wasn’t enough for him ): I learned my lesson. Happy Friday and I hope you have a wonderful weekend <3
    I`m happy to have helped! Always take care of yourself and be selfish untill your needs and wants are being met. Intimacy should be built, not given and it`s a lesson I`ve had to learn myself the hard way... Happy week to you as well <3

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