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Thread: Flirting

  1. #1
    Bronze Member Afireblue's Avatar
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    Flirting

    I've never been a very forward person when it comes to flirting, but I have my subtle ways to let a man know that there is an attraction, like looking at him directly at his eyes or smile a lot, etc

    The story is this: My mother is waiting for a knee replacement surgery dr. recommended to get in better shape before it, so her and I (who do not live together) started to go swimming daily in the evenings, the facility to attend has a gym and a pool. due to my mother's mobility issues, the gym attendant often assists her going down an old elevator that he has to operate with a key.

    So, from the first day I met him, we stroke up a conversation, and he is a very nice person, eventually his flirting got really obvious and among other things, he said to me (in front of my mother) how much he liked the evenings at his job as he "got to see me" and how he now expected I showed up... whenever I cannot make it together with my mom he asks her about me, etc.

    Our conversations are very short, polite, he inquires about my progress swimming, etc, but never asks anything personal, nor do I.

    I have developed a crush on him of course, but I don't want to make things uncomfortable, since he is technically at his job, I have no idea if he has any interest in me, if he is single, or he is just a friendly-flirty guy. I want to ask him just at least so I know! and I'm not wondering... but I have no idea how to do it. or if I should do it at all.... because I am not looking for a relationship at the moment... I will be moving out of state in the summer, so why bother starting something, unless it was something very casual... please help!

  2. #2
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    Well if you're moving away then you are right, there is no point to date. It does sound like he likes you but also sometimes some people do just like to flirt and get attention. I think the only thing you can do with him really is casual. You could ask him out for drink or something and see what he says? Are you open to just casual sex with him or do you think you'd get too attached? If you get too attached then you may want to just not worry about it...

  3. #3
    Bronze Member Afireblue's Avatar
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    Yeah, that's the thing, I would be okay with something casual if he was too, I just don't know how to tell him I'm interested... I couldn't just ask him out, I lack the nerve....

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    If you're not looking for a relationship at the moment AND moving out of the state this summer, don't waste your time, energy and attention on him. No sense associating with someone temporarily. Someone will end up getting hurt when you part ways.

    When you're residing permanently out-of-state, focus on a relationship within your local geography which is more practical.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Write your phone number on a piece of paper and either give it to him just as you're leaving or have your mother hand it to him and ask him to text if he wants to.

    It's the easiest way I can think of without asking him out.

  7. #6
    Bronze Member Afireblue's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    Write your phone number on a piece of paper and either give it to him just as you're leaving or have your mother hand it to him and ask him to text if he wants to.

    It's the easiest way I can think of without asking him out.
    I definitely want to do that, what should the note say?

  8. #7
    Bronze Member Afireblue's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    If you're not looking for a relationship at the moment AND moving out of the state this summer, don't waste your time, energy and attention on him. No sense associating with someone temporarily. Someone will end up getting hurt when you part ways.

    When you're residing permanently out-of-state, focus on a relationship within your local geography which is more practical.
    I see what you say Cherylyn, I, however, don't see anything wrong on seeing someone temporarily, if we are honest from the start... not all relationships are forever, dating wouldn't exists if they were

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    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Have you ever asked him about his weekend plans? That might be a good opening to find out if he has a gf or wife.

    Also, if he reciprocates the question, then you can say you aren't doing anything on x night, and see if he takes the bait. Another one is ask what he does when he isn't working - interests, hobbies see if there is something there where you can say "me too, we should totally go do this.", or if there is some event or festival coming up that you can talk about. It will give you an easy reason to exchange numbers and step things up. He is already chatting you up and flirting with you, so turning the convo this way shouldn't be hard at all.

    I would not give him any notes, it's too much middle school behavior for adults.

  10. #9
    Bronze Member Afireblue's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    Have you ever asked him about his weekend plans? That might be a good opening to find out if he has a gf or wife.

    Also, if he reciprocates the question, then you can say you aren't doing anything on x night, and see if he takes the bait. Another one is ask what he does when he isn't working - interests, hobbies see if there is something there where you can say "me too, we should totally go do this.", or if there is some event or festival coming up that you can talk about. It will give you an easy reason to exchange numbers and step things up. He is already chatting you up and flirting with you, so turning the convo this way shouldn't be hard at all.

    I would not give him any notes, it's too much middle school behavior for adults.
    I really like this approach, it's more subtle ;)

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Afireblue
    I see what you say Cherylyn, I, however, don't see anything wrong on seeing someone temporarily, if we are honest from the start... not all relationships are forever, dating wouldn't exists if they were
    As long as both of you don't have any high expectations due to your temporary residence, go for it!

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