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Thread: Im conclusively an idiot

  1. #1
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    Im conclusively an idiot

    I wrote a previous post will give a quick summary. Dated this girl for three months. Wed decided to be exclusive. On the last month I was dating her some bad/dramatic things happened in her life. She became depressed and kept blowing me off, so I only saw her once in the month. At the end of it she dumped me and said lets just be friends. I rejected the friendship. And told her to take her space. Then unfriended her on Facebook. But creeped her page and shed instantly gone into a relationship with another guy. They dated for two weeks. Then she dumped him and came back to me apologizing. I thought that I could have a fwb relationship with her. But we started talking all the time, going out on dates, cuddling, etc. So it started feeling like a relationship. She updated her Facebook profile pic and she was looking good, and I noticed that the dude that shed previously dumped me for had liked it with a heart emoji. I looked as some other of her posts and noticed that he was liking everything that she posted. This kinda sent me off the rails and I just called her out on everything that shed done. She turned it around on me and said that if I had a problem with any of this I shouldve brought it up when we first started dating. So I told her that I have an issue with this guy still being in her orbit. She said that if I have an issue with it, its a me problem. At which point in time I told her that Im done and blocked her on all channels. She messaged me on her friends phone telling me that Im a moron. And I blocked her friends number too. Then I was talking to a mutual friend and she was telling me about how heart broken she is etc and that I should talk to her. So I spoke with her and she was just like Ill be fine. So I was like okay then have a goodnight.

    Anyway. I know theres a whole bunch of drama here. And I just want to vent a bit about it. The way she turned things around on me made me second guess myself for my decision to dump her. She acts like she did nothing wrong and that Im a crazy idiot for even bringing any of this up.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Yeah, who needs these childish games, right? Sounds like kindergarten crap. Good call to delete and block her and all her people from all messaging apps and social media. Why not leave her blocked? This way you can find someone who won't jerk you around like this.
    Originally Posted by Rawksteddy
    She said that if I have an issue with it, its a me problem. At which point in time I told her that Im done and blocked her on all channels. She messaged me on her friends phone telling me that Im a moron. And I blocked her friends number too.

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Yeah, who needs these childish games, right? Sounds like kindergarten crap. Good call to delete and block her and all her people from all messaging apps and social media. Why not leave her blocked? This way you can find someone who won't jerk you around like this.
    I mean I was for sure a huge a$$hole in the fight and breaking up with her. But I just cant believe that shed think I was out of line for calling her out and having an issue with the guy shed previously dumped me for posting all over her Facebook. Zero accountability.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Never waste your time and energy on people who don't know how to treat you with respect, consideration, empathy and all common sense virtues.

    Turning things around on you is so typical as is gaslighting and all sorts of selfish manipulation tricks. I've seen and heard it all in my lifetime. Create healthy borders and boundaries for yourself. This is what I do in order to save my sanity and protect myself. Live and learn, Rawksteddy.

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    Originally Posted by Rawksteddy
    I mean I was for sure a huge a$$hole in the fight and breaking up with her. But I just cant believe that shed think I was out of line for calling her out and having an issue with the guy shed previously dumped me for posting all over her Facebook. Zero accountability.
    That's how you know you made the right choice breaking up with her.

    She was likely going to bounce again anyway as soon as she and the other guys patched things up. You are well rid of her.

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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    Never waste your time and energy on people who don't know how to treat you with respect, consideration, empathy and all common sense virtues.

    Turning things around on you is so typical as is gaslighting and all sorts of selfish manipulation tricks. I've seen and heard it all in my lifetime. Create healthy borders and boundaries for yourself. This is what I do in order to save my sanity and protect myself. Live and learn, Rawksteddy.
    Thank you for your pleasant response. I had been contemplating smoothing things over with her. And I started writing a text. But I had to keep deleting it. Because she wont take any responsibility for her actions and if she perceives a slight or criticism then shell get defensive and respond with something rude. Therefore there can be no compromise, no growth, and no understanding. If I wanted to smooth things over with her Id have to take responsibility not only for my own wrong doings but for hers as well lol. Makes no sense to me. Probably best just to let things go at this point.

  8. #7
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    You lost your cool because he jerked you around. She may not express her hostilities in shouting matches. But she expresses extreme hostility by exposing you to being in a love triangle.

    Get tested for STDs.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    If you go back on what you said she'll know you're a doormat who will take anything she dishes out and come back begging for more. So she'll have a free ticket to manipulate you.

    She isn't a unicorn who farts rainbows. There are other, more mature women out there.

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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    That's how you know you made the right choice breaking up with her.

    She was likely going to bounce again anyway as soon as she and the other guys patched things up. You are well rid of her.
    Or found someone different altogether

  11. #10
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Why would you even consider talking to her ever again or going back to this drama? What's attracting you here?

    As for the "mutual friend" - these people do not exist. Either they are your friends or her friends. People who play both sides are friends to neither of you, they are flying monkeys who love to stir up the pot by telling tall tales to both of you to see what happens. Worked too since she got you all worked up and actually reaching out to your cheating lying ex.

    Btw, blame shifting and gaslighting are classic cheater go to's when you question their behavior. You see, them acting shady isn't the problem, it's your response to them acting shady that's the problem...or another favorite is you drove them to act shady.... Step away from the mindfck and stay away and kick the "mutual friends" to the curb too. Be kind to your own sanity.

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