Id do absolutely anything to chance my past. I sometimes dream about the universe deeming me worthy of another chance one day. And Id drop to my knees and be thankful for the struggle that changed me.
She should hate me, but she doesnt. She should only converse with me about my child, but she doesnt. Why does she still enjoy talking to me? The coach I had a call with says she doesnt want to fully let go
Why! 8 years is hard to forget. But the pain I put her through Im so ashamed of. My little family broken and that hands of me. Numerous times. Its so ed up.
[Register to see the link]
A link to my journal, if anyone would like to read. Or not, whatever.
Just airing my feelings here today. Im up, Im down. But Im never out. But god when Im down Im lower than low. Anxiety beyond belief and I feel so insecure, mainly about my looks. A breakup will do that to you I suppose. As if she left me for that, what a fool I am. I would have been with you forever, i worshipped you she said.
I had my shot, and I scarred the f**k out of her. And now shes gone, but not?
Now Im scarred for life. A prison sentence I call it, because now I love her like I did in the beginning, maybe even more. Not good enough Im afraid, fool. Cause now she loves someone else, and no one could top what I did.
I will support you forever. And it goes without saying Ill support our child, Im the best dad and she knows that. But I cant deny the hope that on youre times of darkness, youll turn to me and something will click. If not, its okay. I understand. I did this and when alls said and done, no matter what happens Ill be grateful forever that you even treat me like a human being.

Keep being beautiful.