Not good enough

I try everything to stand out from other guys but whatever I do it doesn't feel like it is enough....I always get pushed aside by men that have better qualities then me. I'm feeling hopeless and inadequate to the point that I just want to stop trying..... what am I doing wrong when I try and stay positive...? Am I just not lucky enough or am I just not good enough to be noticed....

Stop comparing yourself to other men and become your own man. When you become less self conscious, this is when you'll feel more positive, comfortable within your own skin and your self confidence will soar.

I was a female version of you long ago. Focus on yourself, have your own life, succeed in your own right and you'll be pushing through an open door.

I see...I appreciate the advice it just feels difficult cause it just seems like maybe it's not enough but I'll try to keep going..

Are you getting dates? Are you talking to women in clubs, groups, sports, classes or where you volunteer? Are you on quality (paid) dating apps? Are you able to make women feel comfortable and present yourself as enjoyable company? It sounds like you are trying to pick up women in the wrong places and assume they all want rich moviestar guys. As long as you assume this, you can make excuses instead of work on your interpersonal and conversation skills.

I try everything to stand out from other guys but whatever I do it doesn't feel like it is enough....I always get pushed aside by men that have better qualities then me.

Do you find looking at social media triggers this feeling or makes it worse?

It's never enough as long as you think too hard about it. You need to divert your attention away from appeasing others to concentrating on your life. Don't think about what other people want in you. Think and focus on your own life.

I was once you. I never attracted anyone in high school and during my college years. I never even had a boyfriend in my life! So I said, "To heck with it. I'm just going to continue with my own life." Well, I did just that. I ascended in my career, became fit, healthy, developed my own interests, hobbies, intellectual pursuits, read a lot of books, engaged in sports, joined fitness groups, went on excursions, museums, joined my weekly Women's Bible Study group and had the time of my life. I could care less about other people. Suddenly, I garnered attention from those who were just as busy as I was! I attracted the right men and by this time, I could afford to become very picky and choosy. In fact, I was in the position to decline dates.

I eventually married the love of my life and have two amazing sons.

The moral of my story is, I didn't even have to try. I was too consumed and preoccupied with my very busy life. Remember, nothing is more attractive than self confidence! People love it when you have your act together and going places in life. People like it when you don't need to rely on others in order to provide your inner happiness. People love it when they sense you are secure within your own skin.

While I was on the fast track, I never stopped to say to myself, "I'm not good enough." I didn't care about others because I didn't have to prove anything to anybody. I became my own person and became less self conscious. That is the secret to an independent mind. Then you attract others because they realize you have a life and people love successful, secure people.

I was late to the party but I had arrived. My mother-in-law (MIL) had this old country saying: "While everyone was busy sloshing around in the bucket of milk, the cream rose to the top." She was a farm girl milking cows. What her idiom meant was this: While people are waffling aimlessly in life, frittering away their time and not doing anything to improve their lot in life or whining, it's those hard workers who are quietly rising to the top and reaping their rewards later. It's so true. Slow and steady wins the race. I was extremely steadfast and unwavering and you can do it, too if you're serious, that is. No pain no gain.

Did something happen recently that makes you feel like you're not good enough? Give some examples of your recent dating life.