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When to draw the line


pelcel09

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I’ve been debating on this off and on for a while now. I am alone 90% of the time even if he’s here. There’s no trust no communication no respect and I now have no faith. I’ve found chats from girls emails from Craig’slist dating sites nudes of himself everything you think I could find I have except 100% valid proof of him having sex with another girl. He demands privacy so I can’t know what he’s doing who he’s talking to or even touch his phone. I’ve had to use his phone a few times when mine broke and I had to have it on speaker phone with him next to me sigh... we’ve battled this for months.... he knows what my expectations are in a relationship and in life and each time we’re doing good he goes and flips it. I’m exhausted drained empty.... I’m not who I was and I doubt I’ll ever find that girl again the words he’s spoken the lies he’s told the behavior I’ve been shown are all his choices and actions and now I’m left broken empty alone and lost as to where to draw the line and pack up and leave

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Sorry about all this.

 

You can draw the line wherever and whenever you want, always. You could end a relationship because someone gains half a pound or because they repeatedly treat you with disrespect. Or, well, you can stay. It’s always a choice.

 

In your shoes, I’d start focusing less on his behavior and more on why you are choosing to remain with him. Hard to figure out why, from what you’ve written, though you must have a reason. What is it?

 

The girl you think is lost is far, far from lost. She’s right there because she is you. Sounds to me like she is calling out and hoping you’ll make some new choices, to help her.

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Without trust, there’s nothing to have a relationship about. He doesn’t respect you. You are not broken. You are just wounded from being in a toxic situation. The only way to heal from that is to leave him and reclaim your life. Leaving is hard, but staying with him will be much harder for you. Do what’s best for you and cut him out of your life and reclaim yourself.

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No trust and no communication = no relationship

 

Feeling disrespected and alone = toxic

 

Finding chats and nudes = signs of infidelity

 

Why are the above not enough to leave?

 

No trust was the cue to leave. Chats and nudes are the glaring sign. Even if he was not cheating, feeling alone 90% of the time, being disrespected and feeling distrustful is not a situation you want to keep investing your life on.

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I'm sorry. Likely hurts like hell. Take care of you. Prepare yourself, something will trigger a response, you seem aware of the situation and it's sad conclusion. Make a plan, which I'm sure you have as it's the only thought most times. Carry it out. Again, take care of yourself. No big speeches all that will come later when reality hits him. Take care of you. Sleep, eat right, lot of exercise and remember, people survive it and go on to better things. It's not the end of the world, just seems like it. Good luck.

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Why are you waiting for him to have sex with someone else with and leave undeniable evidence of it to leave?

 

He doesn't love you. He disrespects you. But girl, you've been disrespecting yourself far too long as well. You set the bar way too low and have tolerated awful behaviour, and you need to ask yourself why. That will be your key to avoiding situations like this in the future.

 

I agree he's a spectacular boyfriend. But he can't break you any further without your tacit permission. Get rid of him, and find the strength to do a better job protecting yourself.

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I don't understand why you are with this creep?! He is a liar, cheat and disrespectful. Your relationship sounds miserable!

 

He has been cheating on you emotionally for a long time. This is just as bad as physical. He does not love or respect you.

 

You need to end this and address why you stayed with and tolerated this shoddy behaviour.

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How long have you been dating? Do you live together? Stop having sex and get to a doctor for STD testing. make arrangements to get out of the situation asap.

I’ve found chats from girls emails from Craig’slist dating sites nudes of himself everything you think I could find I have except 100% valid proof of him having sex with another girl.
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I’m not who I was and I doubt I’ll ever find that girl again the words he’s spoken the lies he’s told the behavior I’ve been shown are all his choices and actions and now I’m left broken empty alone and lost as to where to draw the line and pack up and leave

 

What you are failing to see is that it has been YOUR choice to stay with a man that you know is a POS. Why do you suppose you are still with him?

 

Get yourself into therapy to help you to answer that question because you clearly had a very low self worth to stay and accept his choices instead of leaving him the minute you discovered what a waste of breath he actually is.

 

Again... seek out a referral to a therapist through your family doctor. You need the guidance and the tools to learn how to love yourself. You need to learn how to nurture your inner child as I suspect you had a rough childhood since you allow so little for yourself because you don't feel you deserve any better.

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I’ve been debating on this off and on for a while now. I am alone 90% of the time even if he’s here. There’s no trust no communication no respect and I now have no faith. I’ve found chats from girls emails from Craig’slist dating sites nudes of himself everything you think I could find I have except 100% valid proof of him having sex with another girl. He demands privacy so I can’t know what he’s doing who he’s talking to or even touch his phone.

 

- Don't debate it anymore.. WHY live in turmoil when you already KNOW what he is up to?

No trust anymore.. he is a lying cheat..etc.

Why accept any of this???

When i was dating a guy a few yrs back, I once came across his PC on, when i was cleaning.. he had nudes as well.

Was last time I was there.. i stopped interacting totally.. Never explained myself.. nothing.

Self respect.. I walked.

Any REAL man would appreciate & respect your relationship & his partner.

Someone like this.. is pathetic! :/.

Move on and heal from this.. get yourself back to good.. then look to find someone much better for you.

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