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Thread: When to draw the line

  1. #1

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    When to draw the line

    Iíve been debating on this off and on for a while now. I am alone 90% of the time even if heís here. Thereís no trust no communication no respect and I now have no faith. Iíve found chats from girls emails from Craigíslist dating sites nudes of himself everything you think I could find I have except 100% valid proof of him having sex with another girl. He demands privacy so I canít know what heís doing who heís talking to or even touch his phone. Iíve had to use his phone a few times when mine broke and I had to have it on speaker phone with him next to me sigh... weíve battled this for months.... he knows what my expectations are in a relationship and in life and each time weíre doing good he goes and flips it. Iím exhausted drained empty.... Iím not who I was and I doubt Iíll ever find that girl again the words heís spoken the lies heís told the behavior Iíve been shown are all his choices and actions and now Iím left broken empty alone and lost as to where to draw the line and pack up and leave

  2. #2
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Sorry about all this.

    You can draw the line wherever and whenever you want, always. You could end a relationship because someone gains half a pound or because they repeatedly treat you with disrespect. Or, well, you can stay. Itís always a choice.

    In your shoes, Iíd start focusing less on his behavior and more on why you are choosing to remain with him. Hard to figure out why, from what youíve written, though you must have a reason. What is it?

    The girl you think is lost is far, far from lost. Sheís right there because she is you. Sounds to me like she is calling out and hoping youíll make some new choices, to help her.

  3. #3
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    Without trust, thereís nothing to have a relationship about. He doesnít respect you. You are not broken. You are just wounded from being in a toxic situation. The only way to heal from that is to leave him and reclaim your life. Leaving is hard, but staying with him will be much harder for you. Do whatís best for you and cut him out of your life and reclaim yourself.
    Last edited by jul-els; 02-08-2020 at 10:13 PM.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    No trust and no communication = no relationship

    Feeling disrespected and alone = toxic

    Finding chats and nudes = signs of infidelity

    Why are the above not enough to leave?

    No trust was the cue to leave. Chats and nudes are the glaring sign. Even if he was not cheating, feeling alone 90% of the time, being disrespected and feeling distrustful is not a situation you want to keep investing your life on.

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  6. #5
    Silver Member Spawn's Avatar
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    Sorry mate you are going through this , he does not love you.
    Hope you get all the courage to make the right choice now!

  7. #6
    Platinum Member MasterPo's Avatar
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    I'm sorry. Likely hurts like hell. Take care of you. Prepare yourself, something will trigger a response, you seem aware of the situation and it's sad conclusion. Make a plan, which I'm sure you have as it's the only thought most times. Carry it out. Again, take care of yourself. No big speeches all that will come later when reality hits him. Take care of you. Sleep, eat right, lot of exercise and remember, people survive it and go on to better things. It's not the end of the world, just seems like it. Good luck.

  8. #7
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    Why are you waiting for him to have sex with someone else with and leave undeniable evidence of it to leave?

    He doesn't love you. He disrespects you. But girl, you've been disrespecting yourself far too long as well. You set the bar way too low and have tolerated awful behaviour, and you need to ask yourself why. That will be your key to avoiding situations like this in the future.

    I agree he's a spectacular boyfriend. But he can't break you any further without your tacit permission. Get rid of him, and find the strength to do a better job protecting yourself.

  9. #8
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    This guy sounds awful. Dump him. You deserve better.

  10. #9
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    I don't understand why you are with this creep?! He is a liar, cheat and disrespectful. Your relationship sounds miserable!

    He has been cheating on you emotionally for a long time. This is just as bad as physical. He does not love or respect you.

    You need to end this and address why you stayed with and tolerated this shoddy behaviour.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    I agree he's a spectacular boyfriend. But he can't break you any further without your tacit permission. Get rid of him, and find the strength to do a better job protecting yourself.
    Too late for me to edit my own reply, but that should have read CRAP-TACULAR

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