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Thread: My girlfriend and her ex

  1. #1

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    My girlfriend and her ex

    I need help. My girlfriend’s ex told her she still likes her. Now my girlfriend is confused about who she wants. We were so happy. She told me she really is happy with me and she has grown feelings but she’s confused. They have a lot of history and she can’t ignore it and now doesn’t know what she wants.

  2. #2
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    If she's this confused, she's not ready to date you. Perhaps she thought she was, but she's not over him yet. Not enough to turn him down and keep moving forward with you without a second though.

    How long have you been dating, and how long ago did they break up?

  3. #3

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    This is the thing. They broke up nearly 2 years ago, they’re still fairly close anyways. Me and her have been on and off for about a year and nearly 2 months ago she finally asked me to be her girlfriend

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    Originally Posted by Ghaswell
    This is the thing. They broke up nearly 2 years ago, they’re still fairly close anyways. Me and her have been on and off for about a year and nearly 2 months ago she finally asked me to be her girlfriend
    Why have you been on an off with her?

    And it's not great that they've been close all this time, either. It sounds like they haven't really let each other go, and especially now that she's confused - she's realizing she is not over him.

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  6. #5

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    She lost her dad a few years Ago and hasn’t grieved for him so we decided not to get into a relationship whilst she’s still so mentally not great if you know what I mean. She has never ever said she likes her ex like that, she was the one who ended it and has never said anything hinting she likes her. That’s why she’s so confused coz she was so happy with me and hadn’t even thought about her ex like that

  7. #6
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ghaswell
    This is the thing. They broke up nearly 2 years ago, they’re still fairly close anyways. Me and her have been on and off for about a year and nearly 2 months ago she finally asked me to be her girlfriend
    You and her have been "on and off" for about a year. Well, then you are with the wrong person and you should leave her to her ex. They likely deserve on another since she has never actually been devoted to you if you two have been off and on and she's still in contact with her ex the whole time you two were being on and off with one another.

    Dump her for good and get on with meeting someone who doesn't have ex's lurking in the background ready to pounce back in

    That’s why she’s so confused coz she was so happy with me
    Well perhaps she was just telling you what she thought you wanted to hear to keep you hooked because people that are "so happy with you" wouldn't be in an on and off relationship. They would be "on" only.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why is it on/off for so long? Have you met in person? And now she's 'confused". That is another variation of on/off. Is there someone else? Unfortunately she sounds too flaky to date and be happy .
    Originally Posted by Ghaswell
    they’re still fairly close anyways. Me and her have been on and off for about a year and nearly 2 months ago she finally asked me to be her girlfriend

  9. #8

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    She has only been speaking to me during the past year I know that for a fact. I know it doesn’t sound great but she’s not disloyal or a cheat. She would never ever. Her and her ex have always been friends, they’ve known each other for years and have never stopped being friends since they broke up

  10. #9

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    We have grown very very close, it’s not been dodgy or anything. She’s met most of my family, is very close to all of them. We spend nearly every single day together.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ghaswell
    We have grown very very close, it’s not been dodgy or anything. She’s met most of my family, is very close to all of them. We spend nearly every single day together.
    Well, apparently her ex is more important to her than all of that. Sorry to be so blunt and not sound empathetic but you're not accepting anything and are still focused on what she portrayed as being real. If what she portrayed was real to her, her ex would be completely out of the picture and she wouldn't at all be "confused." I myself would never allow myself to become emotionally vulnerable to someone who was still "very close" with their ex. (not to mention off and on with me) You would do well to adopt that very fundamental personal boundary as well so nothing like this will happen to you again.

    Does she have children with this ex? If not, she had feelings for her still that she was unwilling to give up.

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