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Thread: Caught boyfriend leaving hearts under other womanís Instagram photo

  1. #31
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Is this something you plan to do in all your future relationships? Search for bad behavior because you don't trust?
    I wonder the same.

    If itís a turn off, itís a turn off, your prerogative

    But the fact you made a conscious choice to state, Ď Iíve dealt with this in the pastí as if that somehow has ANYTHING to do with him shows heís paying for others past sins.

    If this is how you choose to date, it is your right, but own it, you are not without fault here.

  2. #32
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    And then I found the heart comment? It turned me off
    That to me is fair.

    When you first start dating someone, social media is a clue to who they are. If he had makes smileys and hearts on womens pictures months previous to dating..who cares.

    But one month in and he's doing this..not a great start. And he clearly enjoys looking around.
    Not my cup of tea either.

  3. #33
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by mayflower165
    Exactly itís a new relationship.. you shouldnít be lusting over other woman. Why be with a man who brings out those irrational fears in you.
    Girl!!!!

    The irrational fear was already there or you wouldnít have snooped to begin with!

    Quit blaming him for YOUR trust issues.

  4. #34
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    True I feel like the experiences from the past protect you from future hurt though. If I can find out something sooner and get out of it then itís better for me versus finding out a year later that he leaves hearts under the pictures of other women.

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  6. #35
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    So as a girlfriend I should be oblivious to who heís friends with on Instagram?

  7. #36
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I snoop..darn right I do. The internet does give a woman a head start as to what they are getting into.

    I for one, encourage women to snoop. Look, see what kind of man he is. If he's behaving badly on the internet, it's good to know. If he's acting recklessly, good to know.
    Heck, it only takes a few clicks.

    I googled my ex. He kept telling me what a good man he was, google told me a different story. I thank god I looked. He was a player and was behaving very badly online and had been for years.

    I confronted him, he denied, denied until he couldn't deny the stuff I had found online. He was constantly chatting up women, going on sites he probably shouldn't have been on, and lied like you wouldn't believe.

    I didn't go hard core into snooping. A few clicks told me the truth. I don't regret it. Loads of people these days lying as to who they are, and I for one don't want to be fooled or waste my life on it.

  8. #37
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by mayflower165
    True I feel like the experiences from the past protect you from future hurt though. If I can find out something sooner and get out of it then itís better for me versus finding out a year later that he leaves hearts under the pictures of other women.
    Itís a double edged sword.

    You learn through experiences true, but those experiences also chip away at you.

    Iím sure you are aware of the concept of baggage.

    What youíre explaining is baggage.

    Itís not intuition itís not a gut feeling, due to your baggage you started off not trusting him. Thereís no way to sugar coat that.

    And again, I donít know if heís guilty or innocent and if Instagram hearts are a make or break thing for you, you have every right to feel that way.

    BUT

    You donít get to act like you played no part in this.

    As another poster asked, is this how you plan to operate in every relationship? Cause if it is, expect to meet someone who will not put up with snooping.

  9. #38
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Since his behavior causes you stress, it's better not to hope for change and realize a guy who doesn't do this is more of what you're looking for.

    and honestly I canít take another heart break. This, to me, is greatly concerning. You survived breakups before, and you need to have the perspective of: I'll have a wait and see attitude when I date. If it works out, wonderful. It it doesn't, I'm smart to move on so I can find a better match.

    The psychology of self-talk is immensely important. Don't enter any new relationships with emotional baggage, or you will sabotage what could've been a good thing. Each experience is new, and the only control you have is to cut the losers loose and keep the good ones, and take things day by day. Time will tell if a person will be good longterm material or not. Start practicing better self-talk, that you will handle whatever way things pan out. We've all been broken up with, and have let people go who weren't right for us. It's nothing unique, and nothing to fear. It's a part of life we all go through. You're only weaker than the rest of us if you think you are. Ignite the power of your mind, and its positivity. It's very empowering. Good luck.

  10. #39
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    If you don't trust who you are dating you shouldn't be dating him. If you have to check the internet to see if the man you are dating and serious with is who he says he is you shouldn't be dating him. Far different to check someone out on google before or right after meeting the person for the first time but checking up on a partner by snooping -that just means you don't trust him and what a relationship without trust?

  11. #40
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    Who doesnít have baggage? And who wouldnít want to look through their significant others Instagram? I agree with Sherry, looking has saved me a ton of wasted time.

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