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Thread: Being happy alone

  1. #1
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    Being happy alone

    The last year, I've been single and I'm happy and in a healthier place then I was before. I started getting myself in hobby's like couponing. It surprisingly takes my mind off of things and makes me happy because I'm saving money, lol. However, there are times I feel lonely. I want to ask, how has anyone been able to overcome these feelings? I know it's part of being human , but I want to overcome it and not let it consume me. Any tips or advice is greatly appreciated! It's a new year and I just want to be the best version of myself. I feel like learning to love myself and embrace during this period in my life will do just that, but I need to learn how to fully be happy alone.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
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    Hobbies are all fine, and can take your mind off being lonely, sure, but I have found have a major passion for something really helps. Many artists, musicians and writers can do the solitary thing, especially if these passions become a lifestyle. Add the passion to several hobbies, and you often don't get time to be lonely.

    However, if one of you major hobbies is binge watching anything, while it can be fun, it's not entertaining the mind enough, and thoughts of loneliness can creep in.

    Also, having a group of single friends can go a long way to countering lonliness, unless all they do is go out looking to hook up all the time.

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by summablairr
    The last year, I've been single and I'm happy and in a healthier place then I was before. I started getting myself in hobby's like couponing. It surprisingly takes my mind off of things and makes me happy because I'm saving money, lol. However, there are times I feel lonely. I want to ask, how has anyone been able to overcome these feelings? I know it's part of being human , but I want to overcome it and not let it consume me. Any tips or advice is greatly appreciated! It's a new year and I just want to be the best version of myself. I feel like learning to love myself and embrace during this period in my life will do just that, but I need to learn how to fully be happy alone.
    I accepted I would never be fully happy unless I found a husband and had the opportunity to have a family (and considered adopting on my own but did not do so). I accepted and was honest with myself about it because it was true. I think what you're doing is great - hobbies, enjoying your time on your own -but why are you lonely? Do you have friends? Do you try to make friends? I rarely felt lonely and I married at 42 and was in serious relationships on and off but always lived on my own once I moved out of my parents' house.

    I don't think you force yourself to be "happy" - you just keep busy doing things that make you feel good -and doing things that make you honor your need for rest and space and peace too -getting in tune with yourself helps so much -great skill to work on! (cardio exercise makes me particularly happy).

    Also consider volunteering backstage at a community theater. And, of course, it's totally fine and wonderful if you discover you are fully happy being on your own romantically - without a romantic partner I mean.
    Last edited by Batya33; 02-07-2020 at 06:59 AM.

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    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    How much time do you spend with other people?

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Balance your life with time and hobbies that are social and involve other people.

    Humans are social animals, that's why even people who are into solitary hobbies end up forming clubs and groups so they can socialize some as well. For example, reading is solitary but people form book clubs so they can talk, socialize, connect with like minded people. Just mix in more social time be it hobbies, groups, or volunteering for things.

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    I agree with what Keyman said about pursuing your passions. Find what you're passionate about and delve into it. That path will help guide you towards like minded people as well as your own personal happiness.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Humans are tribal and being alone too much is mentally and physically healthy. Too much alone time can cause depression.

    For some people, too much isolation is associated with "idle hands are the devil's workshop." It's better to surround yourself with moral influences.

    I agree with others regarding balance in your life. I too savor my alone time but during other parts of my life, I need my husband and children. I need my close friends and get together with them several times a month for a walk, shopping and dining out. I need my weekly church's Women's Bible Study group and their amazing support.

    During other times, I relish solitude, peace, calm and quiet. I enjoy marching to the beat of my drum without having to constantly cater to others. I definitely carve out my alone time because I need the mental health break.

    Be careful with excessive isolation because depression can cause dementia especially in the elderly and it's a gradual process which takes years. I've observed this sad fate among my relatives and in-laws.

    On the upside, ever since I curtailed my former social butterfly lifestyle, I too have saved a lot of money. Instead of being so stingy, I can finally afford to treat myself to a few designer handbags, nice clothes and shoes whereas I deprived myself of these purchases for decades. I figure I work hard for it so I deserve it.

    Other than that, it's important to be comfortable within your own skin and enjoy the empathetic company of others within reason. It's psychologically and physically healthy to have the best of both worlds IMHO.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Is this loneliness because of a lack of boyfriend or change in therapist?

    Have you been trying to make friends?

    Remember the whole crawl before you walk thing.

    You donít have to force yourself to be happy and accept anything, you can work towards your goals in healthy and realistic ways.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Typo: Too much isolation is mentally and physically UNhealthy, not healthy.


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