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Thread: Is there any way I may get a second chance?

  1. #1
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    Is there any way I may get a second chance?

    There's a girl I met in a highschool class. We sat a row across from eachother and quickly become friends. I am led to believe that she was sexually interested in me, she would constantly touch me and get her to help her with schoolwork. This one time she "brought the wrong textbook" and decided to move and sit beside me to share, meanwhile she couldve shared with her friend who sat beside her. She sat very close to me and touched my legs and arms.

    I however, didnt really reciprocate and was instead more cordial because she was going through a breakup with her boyfriend at the time.

    Eventually, I asked her out over the phone and she said yes. She then quickly cancelled on me and sent me a long text about how I am really nice and she is interested in me but isnt ready. She said she wanted another chance in the future

    A few weeks later she has a new boyfriend.


    I honestly dont know what to think at this point. One side of me thinks that she liked me, but respects me and doesnt want me to be a rebound(Highly unlikely). The other side of me thinks that she simply used me as an ego boost when she was going through a rough time, and didnt want anything more.

    I like her a lot. I learned a lot about her, and I saw a lot of qualities in her that I like. I would never expect her to play me like this.(Why would she say that she wants another chance??????) I see her everyday in all my classes, and am not sure what to do. She has ignored me ever since the new semester after everything happened.

    Is it worth keeping her as an option and to stay open, Or should I do everything I can to try and forget about her and move on?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Both of you should ignore each other.

    She has a boyfriend. There aren't any options.

    Do the latter: Try and forget about her and move on.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    Why would you want to get a second chance with a player? You have seen first hand how she can move on from one guy to the next at the speed of light. How is that a desirable trait in a girlfriend?

    She is very good at stroking guys' egos. ALL guys'. That's indeed a very useful trait for her as it makes guys in her life easily replaceable, but it doesn't make her special. If her words and actions matched, that would indeed might be someone worthwhile. But she told you she is interested and then got with another. First, she told you she is interested and now she has a boyfriend and she is is ignoring you. Why would you want to stay open to someone who can switch so easily? Move on.

  4. #4
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    Yep forget her. Her asking for a other chance in future translates to "I'm not interested but I will keep you on my back burner to stroke my ego while I see this other guy"

    There are much nicer girls out there your age. Enjoy yourself and don't worry about her.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by hide
    The other side of me thinks that she simply used me as an ego boost when she was going through a rough time, and didnt want anything more.
    This is what happened, unfortunately.

    She knew you were attracted to her and it made her feel good, but that's as far as it goes for her. So yes, you should do everything you can to move on from her. She isn't interested the same way you are.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. It sounds like she was being friendly. Just move forward when someone friendzones you.
    Originally Posted by hide
    She then quickly cancelled on me and sent me a long text about how I am really nice and she is interested in me but isnt ready. A few weeks later she has a new boyfriend.She has ignored me ever since the new semester after everything happened.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Sounds like she may have had her eye on the new guy before her breakup, which may have even caused the breakup, and she was willing to play the field a bit until something developed with him. This may or not be true, but it's the story I'd tell myself to avoid viewing her leapfrog over to new guy as any reflection on me.

    High school is 4 years of 'sampling' classmates. While some of those relationship last into college, very few ever do. It's kind of like a time of waiting your turn for people who interest you as their experimentation fizzes out with others and eventually offers you the right opportunity.

    Meanwhile, skip her and do your best to focus on someone else who might be available. It's not just about interest, it's about timing. Don't use bad timing against yourself. It's a level playing field for everyone.

    Head high.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    This is one of those important life lessons for you - anything other than a YES is a big fat NO.

    What she is did is basically a soft rejection, cushioning the blow so to speak. That's not about you, that's her being uncomfortable with just being honest and direct. In her mind, she is being nice. In reality, it leaves you confused and feeling like you are on the hook, hoping that maybe.... Being left in limbo is not nice at all, however, lots of people do this in many aspects of life. You just have to learn to recognize that it is a NO and move on quickly to better prospects.

  10. #9
    Bronze Member Spawn's Avatar
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    hide, just disappear from her life, yes you just gave her what she needed.
    now just give yourself what you need a good healthy life. Just forget about her.
    let go...

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    Sounds like she may have had her eye on the new guy before her breakup, which may have even caused the breakup, and she was willing to play the field a bit until something developed with him. This may or not be true, but it's the story I'd tell myself to avoid viewing her leapfrog over to new guy as any reflection on me.

    High school is 4 years of 'sampling' classmates. While some of those relationship last into college, very few ever do. It's kind of like a time of waiting your turn for people who interest you as their experimentation fizzes out with others and eventually offers you the right opportunity.

    Meanwhile, skip her and do your best to focus on someone else who might be available. It's not just about interest, it's about timing. Don't use bad timing against yourself. It's a level playing field for everyone.

    Head high.
    I think you are exactly right. She was already friends with this guy (we are mutual friends) before she brokeup. I think I just had bad timing. Oh well, lesson learned


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