Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 27

Thread: My ex reached out to me after no contact

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Posts
    12

    My ex reached out to me after no contact

    So I decided to go no contact with my ex for 3 months when things went rocky and we decided to part ways. He reached out to me and was extremely apologetic and wanted to meet me for drinks and talk properly.
    To me it kind of seemed pretty full on and i was kind of shocked but I kind of went along with it. Its been 3 weeks now since we have been chatting over text things seemed to be going well. Then all of a sudden its gone dead haven't heard from in like 5 days. Im not sure if its me that came across too strong or what hopefully i haven't. I didn't mention once about missing him or lets get back together anything like that. Only thing iv suggested is we go to this fun party with a few friends i said i understand if don't fancy it he said ' yeah im up for it will be fun send me details '. I sent him details then the morning of the party he sent me a text saying ' i don't think ill be coming as it maybe too much and were not together ' I wrote back saying that's fair enough and sorry if i made you feel awkward at all, i thought you was up for it hence why sent you the details ' I left it like that then hours later while i was at the party with friends he text me saying ' wish i was there id love to give you a big kiss '
    I was like what the hell he was down the pub so clearly was drinking. I said ' well you could of come but you decided not to ' And he was calling me baby stuff like that. Then he said he was going to call me ( clearly been drinking ) then he didn't and said ' sorry babe its so loud in this pub ' I wrote back saying ' No worries, look after yourself ok and i think theres been abit of a miss communication about tonight which is a shame it could of planned out differently '
    THAT was the last thing i sent and last thing he red since that he hasn't text or anything kind of disappeared. Im not sure whats happened and not sure what to do from here. I haven't wanted to pester him as don't want to look needy or desperate for any man haha. And plus his got this new job which puts him really under stress.

    Any advice would be really appreciated PLEASE be kind as i have the flu stuck in bed haha.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    14,315
    Gender
    Female
    Don't contact him again. If he wants to reconcile then he should ask to see you and then he can tell you in person that he'd like to try again, anything short of that is just him using you to get over you. He is selfish and thoughtless to be contacting you and calling you "babe" when he's not in your life as your boyfriend so don't allow him to do that to you anymore. If you think its too early to block and delete him then just ignore any contact that isn't to actually see you and enjoy the ego boost without giving him one back... ignore.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    10,715
    Gender
    Female
    Mixed messages - means - no-go
    He's texting, accepts a friendly date only to decline it, drunk texts you, flirts and then goes silent.
    Don't tolerate this childish stuff.

    If it were me, I'd tell him:

    "I don't think it's a good idea to continue communicating seeing we are no longer a couple. Things are little grey and fuzzy right now and I don't want to risk any misunderstandings. If anything changes in the meantime, please let me know, but for now I need to leave while things are still on high note and keep moving forward"

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    37,051
    Gender
    Male
    Sorry to hear this. What was the breakup about? Rest, plenty of nonalcoholic fluids and stop texting him.
    Originally Posted by misskath
    Any advice would be really appreciated PLEASE be kind as i have the flu stuck in bed haha.

  5.  

  6. #5

    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Posts
    12
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Sorry to hear this. What was the breakup about? Rest, plenty of nonalcoholic fluids and stop texting him.
    The break was about stress of a new job he was all over the place and it affected our relationship, his family, his mental health and friends. Before everything was fine. So kind of makes me think is his head still not in the right place? Iv not reached out to him in 5 days as im a little wary of what to do and say.

  7. #6

    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Posts
    12
    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    Mixed messages - means - no-go
    He's texting, accepts a friendly date only to decline it, drunk texts you, flirts and then goes silent.
    Don't tolerate this childish stuff.

    If it were me, I'd tell him:

    "I don't think it's a good idea to continue communicating seeing we are no longer a couple. Things are little grey and fuzzy right now and I don't want to risk any misunderstandings. If anything changes in the meantime, please let me know, but for now I need to leave while things are still on high note and keep moving forward"


    It strange why the mixed signals as he was never like this before. But like you say its not healthy and good sign and perhaps maybe do you think I should mention it as you say? It does make me wonder if I have done something wrong come over too much or is he still stressed out. I really don't know. Im trying to figure it out really haha.

  8. #7

    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Posts
    12
    [QUOTE If you think its too early to block and delete him then just ignore any contact that isn't to actually see you and enjoy the ego boost without giving him one back... ignore.[/QUOTE]

    I don't think its time or place to be blocking people I think that's abit dramatic. I think too that would massively back fire. Not sure that's the best approach at this stage. But if it really has to happen then of course I will.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    10,715
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by misskath
    It strange why the mixed signals as he was never like this before. But like you say its not healthy and good sign and perhaps maybe do you think I should mention it as you say? It does make me wonder if I have done something wrong come over too much or is he still stressed out. I really don't know. Im trying to figure it out really haha.
    You are over focused on him. You need to use that energy taking care of yourself. You two are no longer a team and he's obviously looking out for himself. I suggest you do the same.

    It's obvious you are navigating this step by step in an attempt to win him back. Even if it's at the risk of your own self respect. If he wants you, he knows where to find you. Period. Being the nice, patient, passive girl often backfires.

    The words I wrote to say to him weren't to manipulate the situation in any way. It was preserve it. To preserve your self respect and your self care and leave him be to work out his own stuff. Remember, he risked losing you to begin with.

    In the meantime all this back and forth is quickly turning into something that could go off the rails and leading to more misunderstandings.

    If it's reconciliation you want, your best bet is it close this door. There's no motivation to return if he can have access to you at a reduced capacity. It's also very likely he's just stringing you along and likes the attention. Don't be that girl.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    14,315
    Gender
    Female
    I don't think its time or place to be blocking people I think that's abit dramatic. I think too that would massively back fire. Not sure that's the best approach at this stage. But if it really has to happen then of course I will.
    Like I said, if You think it's too early then just ignore. I think blocking and deleting is THE BEST way to get over someone who is jerking you around but most people just will not do it until they are emotionally abused enough to act. So: If you are going to allow yourself to be emotionally abused by his selfish contact that leads to nothing but you being hurt and confused, then do yourself the favor of ignoring his crumbs of attention that lead to nowheresville.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    37,051
    Gender
    Male
    Unfortunately it sounds like he's enjoying himself out with friends in pubs, etc and not as interested in getting back together. Perhaps as fwb, but if he wanted to reconcile he would not just be drunk dialing you. It seems like he used the "stressed' excuse to end things. He knows your contact info, don't reach out.
    Originally Posted by misskath
    So kind of makes me think is his head still not in the right place?

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •