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Thread: My ex reached out to me after no contact

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by misskath
    I have to disagree as you do hear stories of people getting back together LOADS of times. So I have to disagree with this post im afraid. Its happened to many many people that they go no contact and get back together. Not saying I will with this ex but it has happened for many people.
    Yes, but how many of those couples make it work for the long-term?

    Not that many, in my experience. More often than not, they wind up splitting again, and frequently over the same issues that came between them the first time. There are exceptions, of course, but we can't deny that on-off relationships don't usually work out well.

  2. #22

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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    Yes, but how many of those couples make it work for the long-term?

    Not that many, in my experience. More often than not, they wind up splitting again, and frequently over the same issues that came between them the first time. There are exceptions, of course, but we can't deny that on-off relationships don't usually work out well.

    EXACTLY! That's why I disagreed to that ladies post as SOME have worked out and some haven't. All depends doesn't it. Nothing to do with my situation I mean in general.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Does he have a history of heavy drinking or doing drugs? Is this why you blocked him in the past. It's fine to just stay no contact since you know that being on/off is rubbish and worse than fwb. It seems like you could do a lot better than him as soon as you are ready to move forward.
    Originally Posted by misskath
    We spoke about FWB situation before. I asked if he was doing drugs and he said no.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by misskath
    EXACTLY! That's why I disagreed to that ladies post as SOME have worked out and some haven't. All depends doesn't it. Nothing to do with my situation I mean in general.
    In any case, I wouldn't hold my breath for this ex.

    He's inconsistent which generally means his feelings just aren't there for you in a significant way anymore. He probably felt a little drunk and lonely when he messaged you from the pub, but realized in the sober light of day it's not fair to lead you on and keep the communication going.

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  6. #25

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Does he have a history of heavy drinking or doing drugs? Is this why you blocked him in the past. It's fine to just stay no contact since you know that being on/off is rubbish and worse than fwb. It seems like you could do a lot better than him as soon as you are ready to move forward.

    I noticed he was drinking a lot when he started that new job & not only that his friend killed himself. That's when things went abit bad for us both so that's when I decided to go no contact then after 3 months he reached out to me on social media and said he was sorry, his getting his life back and wants to see me. So was really upsetting for me to see someone you really liked change into someone you don't even recognize. He says he just goes to the pub now and again with mates and has learnt a lesson but honestly I really don't know as like you can see we was meant to meet Saturday at a party and he flaked on me. We was also meant to be meeting up for some food and some drinks ( his idea not mine ) I believe this Friday or next Friday cant remember as I deleted the chat and have been no contact and iv not heard anything regarding that. Maybe his heads still not clear from everything.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    All of these people you perceive as ganging up on you have taken time out of their busy days to provide the knowledge they've accumulated through their own experience, or having seen their loved ones go through, etc. We are all seeing the situation a lot more objectively, because we are not emotionally connected to your ex. You are seeing your ex through rose-colored glasses because he's cute, you cared about him, and he wanted to end it, not you.

    You are rejecting some of the very sound opinions here because your agenda is to get back together with him, and blocking him will prevent this from happening, in your eyes.

    Past behavior predicts future behavior. He dumped you so easily once, and he would do it again if you got back together. Everyone experiences stress in life, but people in love usually rely on their partner for support during these difficult times. They don't break it off with a partner.

    You will learn though, the hard way since you reject what the majority is saying here. It will just take you longer to get there, your way. And years down the road you just might be back here, virtually trying to shake sense into another young girl experiencing what you've been through, asking, "What the hell are you doing? You're worth so much more than a guy treating you like a yo-yo, and secretly wanting to pester him into giving you more of his wishy-washy attention and false hope."

  8. #27
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    People who come up with excuses not to block actually don't want to because they're hoping their ex will contact them asking to get back together. That's the only reason other than a legitimate need to have communication regarding shared children.

    It makes you angry because you don't want to give up that hope. It's not that unusual. But it does limit your ability to move forward.

    If he's only contacting you when he's drinking or feeling lonely, it's not a genuine attempt to reconnect. He's just trying to make himself feel better.

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