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Thread: I have nothing to offer to a woman

  1. #1
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    I have nothing to offer to a woman

    I would like to pursue a relationship, however I feel like I have nothing to offer. Why do I feel this way? Is it because I am use to being alone? I'm 30 years old and have no children. I am not even in the hopes of seeing anyone. 2018 I was engaged but that ended on terms I will never know.

    Why does it have to be this way?

  2. #2
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    It doesn’t. It all depends on your outlook and attitude. If you think you are forever meant to be alone, then that is the dynamic you will set for yourself. Your destiny is greatness. But you have to first see it before you can reach it.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You can join some clubs, groups, sports, go to events etc at university. Start talking to people and women. What does your doctor advise? Can you follow up with supportive talk therapy and groups?
    Originally Posted by BetYouImAlone
    This upcoming January 2020 I will be restarting university. I am excited. for the past year and a half I have been out of University. I am getting funding now from my reserve. Tuition and books will be paid for. I will be taking 4 classes. What should I do to be grateful I am back studying. I also have a doctors appointment tomorrow, my psychiatrist Dr.

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    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
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    You get out of this life what you put into it. If you put into it a moping, complaining, depressive attitude then you will get sadness, unhappiness, and self imposed pain. We humans have the power to design our own universe, but so many expect it all to be handed to them without them doing anything. If you want something, go and get it. If you get rejected, then try again on another avenue. And, never give up. Some days it will be hard, and you are allowed to have a day of doubt, but you should push on and try again.

    And, I am alone, and I am used to being alone. But, I choose to be that way, and I am happy about it.

    Happiness is a choice.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BetYouImAlone
    Why does it have to be this way?
    I guess because it's what you are choosing for yourself. Nobody else can convince you to appreciate your unique and innate value. If you refuse to value yourself, then you are right: nobody is going to come along to try to change your mind about that.

    Everything starts with the mind. If you've positioned yours against yourself, then of course you will bring about the results you expect.

    I'd start with a better decision and work from there.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    I guess because it's what you are choosing for yourself. Nobody else can convince you to appreciate your unique and innate value. If you refuse to value yourself, then you are right: nobody is going to come along to try to change your mind about that.

    Everything starts with the mind. If you've positioned yours against yourself, then of course you will bring about the results you expect.

    I'd start with a better decision and work from there.
    Catfeeder is right. Its this way because you are choosing it....

    Why do you say you have NOTHING to offer?

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by BetYouImAlone
    I would like to pursue a relationship, however I feel like I have nothing to offer. Why do I feel this way? Is it because I am use to being alone? I'm 30 years old and have no children. I am not even in the hopes of seeing anyone. 2018 I was engaged but that ended on terms I will never know.

    Why does it have to be this way?
    Dude, let me tell you something. It`s your life you are living, not someone elses. What can a woman offer for you should be your question. Be proud of who you are and learn to cherish your own attributes, and learn to enjoy being single. Relationship is not automatically a blessing. You fall in love at first and everything`s perfect, and after a few years you will find the person who you are with being completely someone else than she used to be, and just waiting for everything to slowly fade away until boom you are single again.

    Ok maybe I`m a bit pessimistic there, but there is a truth behind what I said. You can wait to meet someone, or have fun with your life. First of all if you believe you have nothing to offer, then you truly don`t have anything to offer and that`s solely because you are putting your possible girlfriend to a pedestal instead of seeing her as equal to you.

    Loneliness sucks, but there are very quick options for finding company these days like Tinder etc. Just get over yourself, be optimistic and start looking at yourself in a different light. You are awesome, and you know it!

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Take a break. Don't jump into nor seek a relationship right now. You were engaged in 2018 so give yourself time to savor solitude which is not to be confused with the word: "lonely." Alone does not always necessarily mean lonely.

    So you're 30 years old and have no children. I know a lot of men who are your age with no children. It is not uncommon as you think and not everyone gets married in their 20s and has families. People are taking their time in the dating world, marrying later and there's no hurry nor rush.

    When you're ready to enter the dating world again and if you want to meet high quality women, go where they are and they're NOT at singles bars! They're into intellectual pursuits, health, charitable good works, hobbies, sports, church, concentrating on their careers and the like.

    In the meantime, work on yourself. What do you have to offer? Focus on your job, ascension, health, various healthy interests, be with high quality, moral friends who have done their homework for you and can introduce you to great ladies.

    What about your personality and character? If you're NOT a jerk, you have a lot to offer! If you're kind and respectful, you're a winner!

    Chin up, BetYouImAlone. Remain positive. All is not doom and gloom.

  10. #9
    Member proseyxi's Avatar
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    Hey BetYouImAlone!

    Listen - some relationships don`t stick for very long, others more or less, others forever. From what I understand, you are still thinking about your ex and your broken engagement. You are still either hurt or confused or both. It is only natural to feel this way. It`s like the first day in your new school. You feel isolated, lonely,like a fish out of the water, not knowing what to do, questioning everything (in this case your abillities in finding love) and the only thing that brings comfort is thinking about your old school. But you are not going back there. At first, you are the quitest student, focusing on your studies. Then other kids approach you. Maybe, as reserved as you are, they are lonely too. Then you open up, become friends and so one....See what I did there?

    My point i , as many commentators said as well, to give yourself time and the permission of time. You are still so young! Nothing to worry about. What steps did you take after your last breakup to heal and reconnect with yourself? Did you evaluate your needs, wants and standards? Are you yearning for the closure you never got?

    Another thing that would be helpful to all of as in order to give advice, share some more things about your life and yourself (of course if you feel comfortable with that). I`m 20000% you have things to offer to another person. Otherwise, how did you get enganged in the first place? One person at a point in time thought enough of you as to make you their fiance! Don`t stick only to the negative narrative of the breakup. You found one, be sure you`ll find another. Gosh even criminals find partners, why shouldn`t a decent guy like you? Chin up-up-up!

    Hope to hear more from you!!!!


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