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Thread: How can I tell if I was overreacting?

  1. #41
    Member proseyxi's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    No, you skipped the screening part. Why did you green light all of those red flags?

    The guy showed you up front that he was never relationship material. So why were you surprised?
    Because I didn`t think those were red flags. Or rather I gave him the benefit of the doubt, because I thought I was wrongly judging him because of my past experiences. And also I didn`t want to be needy or clingy. I saw his eagerness as interest, but never again will I make the same mistake.

  2. #42
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    The places you choose to meet men are not high value places. Work on your personality. Make sure the" dig me, look at me, check me out, I'm hot," vibe is not in the forefront.
    Originally Posted by proseyxi
    So how is it no high value men approach me? I wish I could be a plain jane sometimes.

  3. #43
    Member proseyxi's Avatar
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    I've never boasted about my looks, nor do I think they are important. My looks never helped me on anything really. On the contrary, everyone points out that I think too low of myself. Never have I been told I give off y or arrogant vibes. Again on the contrary I'm always told I come off as sweet, pleasant and uplifting and that's why they approach me. That's the feedback I get.

  4. #44
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by proseyxi
    Because I didn`t think those were red flags. Or rather I gave him the benefit of the doubt, because I thought I was wrongly judging him because of my past experiences. And also I didn`t want to be needy or clingy. I saw his eagerness as interest, but never again will I make the same mistake.
    Okay, good. So you can see that you HAVE learned something valuable. You can either build your confidence with that, or you can tear yourself down. Those are your choices.

    Since learning is a process of errors, it makes no sense to beat ourselves up every time we need to experience something before we can learn from it. A missile that hits its target perfectly does so through a series of off-target errors that correct before it can lock onto it's target. There is no straight line to perfection.

    Allowing yourself to learn and grow means that you develop empathy by learning how to be kind and inspiring toward your SELF. You can lock onto misery if you choose, and nobody here can talk you out of that. But how does it serve you to drill yourself into a deeper hole to climb out of?

    Head high, and go easy on yourself for being perfectly imperfect.

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