Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 32

Thread: He talks nonstop about his exwife

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    37,612
    Gender
    Male
    Sorry to hear this. Agree it's damaging for you. Unless he's paying you $200/hr as an attorney or therapist, why are you doing this? It sounds like you're just a warm body to comfort him.
    Originally Posted by LadyCaCa
    even when we're in bed, he has to bring up his ex. It's not that I don't want to help, I just don't think it's healthy for me. I would like to give him some friendly advice.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    22,456
    He is not over her. Why are you still with this guy? Huge red flag!

    Dating should not include playing therapist.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    22,456
    Originally Posted by LadyCaCa
    Wasn't pursuing anything, my question was ... is it ok for someone to expect another to listen and not pass judgement? Is that selfish or am I insensitive?
    Why are you wasting your time?

  4. #24
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    22,756
    Gender
    Female
    He said that he's not ready, and he backed that up with his behavior, so what's the surprise? Did you believe that sleeping with him would magically change that?

  5.  

  6. #25
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    14,624
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by LadyCaCa
    Wasn't pursuing anything, my question was ... is it ok for someone to expect another to listen and not pass judgement? Is that selfish or am I insensitive?
    If you keep sleeping with him then you are being selfish to YOURSELF. This is going to end up you shredding yourself because you didn't listen when he told you he wasn't ready to date. (but he's ready to screw O.O) WT...

    If you're going to go ahead and not look out for your own emotional best interests then tell him you don't wanna hear it when he gets on about her again. Quit worrying about being "insensitive" this is a sex only arrangement so keep it fun and keep your emotions off your sleeve IF (big if) you're capable... If you know you're one to bond through sex then you're foolish to keep doing this guy.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    N/A
    Posts
    2,238
    Originally Posted by LadyCaCa
    I should be clear..... I said we just met, not dating exactly. He did say he was not ready for dating but he liked me and we were hanging out, and yes, sleeping together. Still I feel like I should not have had to endure that.
    Girlfriend, get out of this situation today!

    Do not allow yourself to be used to heal him.

    I'm not saying hes a total jerk. He might not realise he's doing it. Its on YOU to realise it and stop it.

    Long term this will heal him, but destroy you!

  8. #27
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    13,389
    If you don't feel you should have to endure it, then don't endure it!

    And if he thinks you're being judgmental or mean, well, sorry! I can't imagine him saying "how dare you not lie in bed with me and listen to me whine about my ex wife!"

  9. #28
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Wilds of Texas
    Posts
    10,453
    Gender
    Female
    A guy who will badmouth his ex to you soon enough will badmouth you to someone else. Beware and consider that this guy is not anywhere near as nice as you'd like to believe. Also, he'll sleep with you but won't date you??? WTH? Just walk away.

    Overall, do avoid getting involved with damaged people. You know there is nothing normal about him going on about his ex while in bed with you. Don't ever get caught up in the idea that if only you accommodate him, sleep with him, comfort him, listen to his drivel and prove to him what a good woman you are that he will eventually upgrade you to gf position. It doesn't work like that.

    You are more like a crutch that will get discarded the moment the broken leg is healed. Have you ever seen a person still using crutches after their leg is fully healed? No. Same thing. All you'll get for your efforts is....nothing......

    If you want a healthy loving relationship, then seek a man who is healthy and ready to date today. Then at least you have a chance to build something good. With this guy, you have nothing. Not even a fun fling as listening to him whine about his ex doesn't sound like fun.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    N/A
    Posts
    2,238
    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    A guy who will badmouth his ex to you soon enough will badmouth you to someone else. Beware and consider that this guy is not anywhere near as nice as you'd like to believe. Also, he'll sleep with you but won't date you??? WTH? Just walk away.

    Overall, do avoid getting involved with damaged people. You know there is nothing normal about him going on about his ex while in bed with you. Don't ever get caught up in the idea that if only you accommodate him, sleep with him, comfort him, listen to his drivel and prove to him what a good woman you are that he will eventually upgrade you to gf position. It doesn't work like that.

    You are more like a crutch that will get discarded the moment the broken leg is healed. Have you ever seen a person still using crutches after their leg is fully healed? No. Same thing. All you'll get for your efforts is....nothing......

    If you want a healthy loving relationship, then seek a man who is healthy and ready to date today. Then at least you have a chance to build something good. With this guy, you have nothing. Not even a fun fling as listening to him whine about his ex doesn't sound like fun.
    Right on, DF!

    Love the fun fling callout at the end. Who doesn't love a good fun fling!

  11. #30
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    4,714
    Originally Posted by Lambert
    Right on, DF!

    Love the fun fling callout at the end. Who doesn't love a good fun fling!
    Agree.

    A blind man can see this isnít just sex for you, cause of it was heíd have to have superhuman skills and body parts. The equivalent would be me going to a car wash where they wet my car with dirty water and didnít bother vacuuming the inside, yeah technically Iím getting my car washed but Iím not benefitting from it.

    The only benefit is feeding your own brokenness, which it appears youíre doing.

Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •