anewhope Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 I met a woman from a dating APP exactly 1 week ago. She told me she was really attracted to me and 'm really attracted to her and we hit it off. We've seen each other twice since we met. I'd arranged our 3rd date for this weekend. Ive not gone in for the kiss yet. Ive just been taking it easy and getting to know her slowly. Anyway we were chatting via text tonight when she said lots of things like she expected more flirting and more communication from me? Otherwise she couldn't see a future. She also said my lack of eagerness was a turn off! I'm just wondering is it me or is this all too quick? I've only known her a week, had two dates with her in that time as well as texting and one face time. I thought that would have been enough and was a nice start but think she's expecting a higher level of flirting and communication from me. She's doesnt think i'm that interested in her even though I've told her I am and made a 3rd date. Is this needy or insecure from her or really a lack of effort from me? Thoughts? Link to comment
jul-els Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 Hit the brakes and make a u turn. Red flags abound. Leave this octopus in your rear view mirror. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 Yeah, too much too fast. Head for the hills and dont look back! Link to comment
bluecastle Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 Agree with the above. I don't quite see this as going too fast as just...well, not going anywhere worth going. She's already trying to control you, mold you, school you to meet some idea in her head—what that looks like in a month or six is not something I'd want to see. Third date would be canceled if I was in your shoes. Link to comment
maew Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 OP if she is criticizing you after a week... it means you aren't compatible. If it were me I would be cancelling the date and walking away. Link to comment
limichelle Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 Yikes! What next? One month in she demands a proposal? Yeah run! Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 Sounds like shes going to great lengths to find herself a Sugar Daddy. Run Forest, Run... Link to comment
Spawn Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 is she just out of some relationship? Link to comment
anewhope Posted February 5, 2020 Author Share Posted February 5, 2020 No funnily enough she's not. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 Too much too soon and poor communication. Tell her you're not a match and move forward. Did your gf move out?: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=562733&p=7182310&viewfull=1#post7182310 we were chatting via text tonight when she said lots of things like she expected more flirting and more communication from me? Link to comment
kim42 Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 If a man told me he expected more flirting after 1 week, I would probably say no to the third date. She sounds controlling, I mean she barely knows you. Link to comment
Andrina Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 Wow. If someone told me I'd better step up my game or be left in the dust after 2 dates, I'd be leaving them in the dust. Like, can you now picture yourself on this date, conjuring your plan of telling her how pretty she is, because there's a fire under your feet, and searching her face to see if that was enough for now or if you need to come up with other things to appease her? The only men she will attract with this attitude is men with zero self esteem. Link to comment
SherrySher Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 She's really pushy!! No, it's not you, she is being forceful and demanding. Truth be told, if someone spoke to me like this, I'd tell them to go jump in a lake. Less than a week, she is asking way, way too much. A huge red flag that you shouldn't ignore. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 Sorry but she sounds like a bunny boiler type. Someone to be avoided, not dated. Two dates with a third planned, plus all the talking, texting, face timing all in a span of one week - for most people this would already feel like a blistering, suffocating pace of way too much too soon. This woman is demanding more and telling you it's not enough..... Danger danger danger....run.... I'd get busy cancelling that date if I were you. Also, be ready for some drama over that....hopefully not, but be ready to block her and be sure that you don't get sucked into arguing or changing your mind and seeing her again. In short, don't get manipulated as she might try. Use the hope for the best, be ready for the worst approach. When someone is acting crazy, it's because they are. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 She's probably "very excited" and sees you as her new boyfriend already. I knew a young woman who would go on Facebook and insist a guy put "In a relationship" with her as his status immediately. If they dated for more than a couple of weeks she would post constantly on his profile, calling herself "Wifey" and demanding he then change his status to "Engaged" to her. Weird! Link to comment
SherrySher Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 She's probably "very excited" and sees you as her new boyfriend already. Very excited, lol...that's one way of putting it. This woman sounds a little off her rocker, or maybe she wants a man to be kissing her butt and begging. Either way, not a good prospect at all. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 She's probably "very excited" and sees you as her new boyfriend already. I knew a young woman who would go on Facebook and insist a guy put "In a relationship" with her as his status immediately. If they dated for more than a couple of weeks she would post constantly on his profile, calling herself "Wifey" and demanding he then change his status to "Engaged" to her. Weird! .....I mean you just defined a bunny boiler...... Very excited....lmao.....how about we call a spade a spade. Might save people a whole lot of headaches and pain when we don't try to white wash psycho behavior and convince ourselves that it's not psycho but just "very excited"...... Good grief..... Link to comment
boltnrun Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 .....I mean you just defined a bunny boiler...... Very excited....lmao.....how about we call a spade a spade. Might save people a whole lot of headaches and pain when we don't try to white wash psycho behavior and convince ourselves that it's not psycho but just "very excited"...... Good grief..... What? "White wash"? That's why I used quotes on the words "very excited". Because she isn't going to describe herself as a "bunny boiler". Not sure where "white washing" comes in. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 What? "White wash"? That's why I used quotes on the words "very excited". Because she isn't going to describe herself as a "bunny boiler". Not sure where "white washing" comes in. Sorry missed the "" mea culpa That said, wasn't talking to you specifically, more that in general we all need to be careful about meeting someone we feel physically attracted to and then getting busy whitewashing some serious red flags because....well....wrong body parts are doing the thinking..... Link to comment
boltnrun Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 Sorry missed the "" mea culpa That said, wasn't talking to you specifically, more that in general we all need to be careful about meeting someone we feel physically attracted to and then getting busy whitewashing some serious red flags because....well....wrong body parts are doing the thinking..... It's cool. Also, sometimes people think this over the top behavior is nice because they think the person must really, really like them. But it's too much too soon. No one knows anyone well enough in the space of one week to be acting like that. Link to comment
SherrySher Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 sometimes people think this over the top behavior is nice because they think the person must really, really like them Defo. That's called inexperience. ;) Link to comment
anewhope Posted February 7, 2020 Author Share Posted February 7, 2020 Thanks for the comments, that was my thinking too...it was all way too quick and was making me feel bad and under pressure. Funnily enough i was chatting to another lady on a dating app who i had NOT EVEN MET, but with a date arranged....she too said "I don't feel your interested in me". I don't think my communication is that bad! But c'mon!!! All this sounds very needy! Is it a woman thing?!!! Link to comment
bluecastle Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 Thanks for the comments, that was my thinking too...it was all way too quick and was making me feel bad and under pressure. Funnily enough i was chatting to another lady on a dating app who i had NOT EVEN MET, but with a date arranged....she too said "I don't feel your interested in me". I don't think my communication is that bad! But c'mon!!! All this sounds very needy! Is it a woman thing?!!! I'd really try not to indulge the instinct to chalk this sort of thing up to a woman thing. Not the cutest of looks. Just a people a thing, a thing one encounters on dating apps here and there. Were I to theorize? I think a lot of people who are on the apps are very, very thirsty to GET IT RIGHT and be TREATED WITH RESPECT. They've been here, been there, talked in out in therapy, on forums like this, and are very into their BOUNDARIES and their NEEDS and their WORTH. All good stuff, but it can be a little much (caps for emphasis) when it's still settling in. Don't read too much into it, or internalize it. For some people it is critical to feel that strangers are very, very into them—it's the point of dating, for many. For others it's more about meeting people and seeing if they're into whoever they meet. And, all in all, it's a bit of circus, with some noise and bubble gum that gets stuck on the shoes. Best part is that you get to choose who to invest energy in, and who not to. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 Thanks for the comments, that was my thinking too...it was all way too quick and was making me feel bad and under pressure. Funnily enough i was chatting to another lady on a dating app who i had NOT EVEN MET, but with a date arranged....she too said "I don't feel your interested in me". I don't think my communication is that bad! But c'mon!!! All this sounds very needy! Is it a woman thing?!!! I'm not there but it does sound like a call for you to rethink your delivery. You are 2 for 2 in this account. Maybe it's them, but maybe it's something you could give some thought too. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 I met a woman from a dating APP exactly 1 week ago. She told me she was really attracted to me and 'm really attracted to her and we hit it off. We've seen each other twice since we met. I'd arranged our 3rd date for this weekend. Ive not gone in for the kiss yet. Ive just been taking it easy and getting to know her slowly. Anyway we were chatting via text tonight when she said lots of things like she expected more flirting and more communication from me? Otherwise she couldn't see a future. She also said my lack of eagerness was a turn off! I'm just wondering is it me or is this all too quick? I've only known her a week, had two dates with her in that time as well as texting and one face time. I thought that would have been enough and was a nice start but think she's expecting a higher level of flirting and communication from me. She's doesnt think i'm that interested in her even though I've told her I am and made a 3rd date. Is this needy or insecure from her or really a lack of effort from me? Thoughts? I wanted to repost your original post. I didn't add to it at the time and saw that people even went as far as to call her bunny boiler. I am of the `take it slow' camp. At the same time, 2 dates in and she doesn't sense any flirting (aka chemistry?) going on, and she's rethinking the 3rd date. Though it may not be the speed you and I go by, am I the only one that doesn't see her as unreasonable? Why do I say this? Because I've gotten the same responses from men. Due to my pace, they sense a lack of interest. At the same time, in the scheme of internet dating, there is possibly more potential or interest from someone else. So why pursue something that doesn't seem to have any legs? I am not saying to change anything about you. Just take a moment to stand in other persons shoes. There may be something to be learned by it. Link to comment
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