Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123
Results 21 to 27 of 27

Thread: Is Woman I've dated 1 week going too fast or is it me?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    6,207
    sometimes people think this over the top behavior is nice because they think the person must really, really like them
    Defo. That's called inexperience. ;)

  2. #22
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Posts
    18
    Thanks for the comments, that was my thinking too...it was all way too quick and was making me feel bad and under pressure. Funnily enough i was chatting to another lady on a dating app who i had NOT EVEN MET, but with a date arranged....she too said "I don't feel your interested in me".

    I don't think my communication is that bad! But c'mon!!! All this sounds very needy! Is it a woman thing?!!!

  3. #23
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    3,927
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by anewhope
    Thanks for the comments, that was my thinking too...it was all way too quick and was making me feel bad and under pressure. Funnily enough i was chatting to another lady on a dating app who i had NOT EVEN MET, but with a date arranged....she too said "I don't feel your interested in me".

    I don't think my communication is that bad! But c'mon!!! All this sounds very needy! Is it a woman thing?!!!
    I'd really try not to indulge the instinct to chalk this sort of thing up to a woman thing. Not the cutest of looks. Just a people a thing, a thing one encounters on dating apps here and there.

    Were I to theorize? I think a lot of people who are on the apps are very, very thirsty to GET IT RIGHT and be TREATED WITH RESPECT. They've been here, been there, talked in out in therapy, on forums like this, and are very into their BOUNDARIES and their NEEDS and their WORTH. All good stuff, but it can be a little much (caps for emphasis) when it's still settling in.

    Don't read too much into it, or internalize it. For some people it is critical to feel that strangers are very, very into them—it's the point of dating, for many. For others it's more about meeting people and seeing if they're into whoever they meet. And, all in all, it's a bit of circus, with some noise and bubble gum that gets stuck on the shoes.

    Best part is that you get to choose who to invest energy in, and who not to.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    10,694
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by anewhope
    Thanks for the comments, that was my thinking too...it was all way too quick and was making me feel bad and under pressure. Funnily enough i was chatting to another lady on a dating app who i had NOT EVEN MET, but with a date arranged....she too said "I don't feel your interested in me".

    I don't think my communication is that bad! But c'mon!!! All this sounds very needy! Is it a woman thing?!!!
    I'm not there but it does sound like a call for you to rethink your delivery.
    You are 2 for 2 in this account.
    Maybe it's them, but maybe it's something you could give some thought too.

  5.  

  6. #25
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    10,694
    Gender
    Female
    I met a woman from a dating APP exactly 1 week ago. She told me she was really attracted to me and 'm really attracted to her and we hit it off. We've seen each other twice since we met. I'd arranged our 3rd date for this weekend. Ive not gone in for the kiss yet. Ive just been taking it easy and getting to know her slowly. Anyway we were chatting via text tonight when she said lots of things like she expected more flirting and more communication from me? Otherwise she couldn't see a future. She also said my lack of eagerness was a turn off!


    I'm just wondering is it me or is this all too quick? I've only known her a week, had two dates with her in that time as well as texting and one face time. I thought that would have been enough and was a nice start but think she's expecting a higher level of flirting and communication from me. She's doesnt think i'm that interested in her even though I've told her I am and made a 3rd date.

    Is this needy or insecure from her or really a lack of effort from me?

    Thoughts?


    I wanted to repost your original post. I didn't add to it at the time and saw that people even went as far as to call her bunny boiler.

    I am of the `take it slow' camp. At the same time, 2 dates in and she doesn't sense any flirting (aka chemistry?) going on, and she's rethinking the 3rd date. Though it may not be the speed you and I go by, am I the only one that doesn't see her as unreasonable?

    Why do I say this? Because I've gotten the same responses from men. Due to my pace, they sense a lack of interest. At the same time, in the scheme of internet dating, there is possibly more potential or interest from someone else. So why pursue something that doesn't seem to have any legs?

    I am not saying to change anything about you. Just take a moment to stand in other persons shoes. There may be something to be learned by it.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    N/A
    Posts
    2,074
    I dont think you should keep the third date and not because either of you is necessarily wrong. You just have different ideas of what should be going on.

    Maybe she's psycho. Maybe your a prude. I'm kidding. Truthfully, if she's putting on the brakes bc you're not affectionate enough for her, that's her decision. A date can ask for anything they want, it doesn't mean they are gonna get it

    As for the 2nd woman, I would also take that with a grain of salt. I do think its weird to say that to someone you haven't even met. But, on line has all kinds looking for love.

    All of these things are causing you to think twice, which is EXCELLENT! You don't have to blindly go along with whatever. They are signs to you to keep looking.

    I really think bluecastle summed it up, a lot of people on line are not healed and or jaded in some form, that just doesn't make them good mates...

    shake it off. I do believe there are good single people out there. Stay true to yourself and what is normal to you.

    If you are truly interested in the first woman, you could explain how she is making you feel and see if she doesn't realize, what she did or said was a little nutty. And that these things are either better kept to yourself, until you have more evidence or discussed in person.

    It does take time to get to know a person and it is a risk... one can get hurt. But there's really no way around that. dating, getting in a relationship is a leap of faith. You do want to see the signs but honestly, who knows what will really happy.

    You could be laughing with this woman years from now that she acted like a psycho when you first met. Or maybe it will be someone else thanking their lucky stars they were the person you met after her.

    Edited to add- where i say take it with a grain of salt, i mean, don't change. she doesn't know you

  8. #27
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    36,946
    Gender
    Male
    Maybe you're not that interested and they pick up on it. Keep in mind they are talking to and meeting multiple people also. It may be hit-or-miss as with a lot of online dating. It sounds like they are gauging your interest level against others and if you come off too laid back they'll just move on...as you should if you feel "too pressured"..
    Originally Posted by anewhope
    making me feel bad and under pressure. Funnily enough i was chatting to another lady on a dating app who i had NOT EVEN MET, but with a date arranged....she too said "I don't feel your interested in me".

Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •