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Thread: Getting her back, 4 year old son

  1. #21
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    I didnt know what i was doing, so yes i can tell her that. It probably wont change her mind as you say, but its still the truth. After we had arguments caused by my jealousy or need to control, i thought it was forgotten. Thats why the break up came out of the Blue for me. Cause i thought we had it good, because we did all the stuff we normally do all up until the break up.

    It was her idea to do the drop offs like this, and her idea that i helped put him to bed the other night. Maybe She's hoping im changing for good this time, who knows

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by AromaVeggie
    I didnt know what i was doing, so yes i can tell her that. It probably wont change her mind as you say, but its still the truth. After we had arguments caused by my jealousy or need to control, i thought it was forgotten. Thats why the break up came out of the Blue for me. Cause i thought we had it good, because we did all the stuff we normally do all up until the break up.

    It was her idea to do the drop offs like this, and her idea that i helped put him to bed the other night. Maybe She's hoping im changing for good this time, who knows
    You canít say that you didnít know you were over jealous and because of that controlling?
    If there were NO arguments about that , then you could claim to be oblivious , but she DID argue the point with you.

    To tell her that you didnít know what you were doing would be telling her that you havenít changed.
    And that it appears is the truth.
    Even on here you are still expressing jealousy.

    It doesnít matter whose decision it was to have drawn out pick up and drop offs.
    It was a bad idea and one you shouldnít entertain.

    Have you started putting aside child support money?
    At the moment her not looking for any is her trying to remove control from you.
    Eventually she will realise that the child support money is not about control but the cost of raising a child which should be shared.
    I wouldnít force her to take the payments as she will at this point see it as you being controlling , but definitely put it aside , for yours sons sake and for yours.

  3. #23
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    Dont know how to phrase it, i didnt know the damage i did, and i felt when we talked about it it all got solved. I know i have been stupid and i have told her i know im responsible for the downfall of our relationship.

    The drop offs are a good idea cause my son feels better that way. Its him and his parents eating together. And me tucking him into bed might be her wanting to see if i changed. She must enjoy the time also.

    The child support is under control, yes

  4. #24
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    Billie28 appreciate your responses, even though its all i was afraid to hear.

    Dont know why but i have a feeling she hopes for me to change so she one day can get a family with me.

    Why would she lay in bed with me for an hour just talking

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by AromaVeggie
    Dont know how to phrase it, i didnt know the damage i did, and i felt when we talked about it it all got solved. I know i have been stupid and i have told her i know im responsible for the downfall of our relationship.

    The drop offs are a good idea cause my son feels better that way. Its him and his parents eating together. And me tucking him into bed might be her wanting to see if i changed. She must enjoy the time also.

    The child support is under control, yes
    5 years of damage does not get undone or solved with a chat about it.
    She has chatted to you about it for 5 years. You didnít care about the damage until now. That does not mean you didnít know about what you were doing, it simply means you thought you could getaway with your behaviour until you couldnít. The day she left you.

    The extended drop offs will only last until she has fully processed everything. Itís a grey area now but will become black and white. When she starts dating another, the drop offs will be when you pick your kid up as she is going out the door.

    The reality is that you have split up and need to figure out co parenting.

  7. #26
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    Why do you think you know what i have thought or done for the past 5 years ?

    You assume some things that are not true and theres no reason for it. You have valid points and i take them in, but telling me i knew everything and what not is simply not true, and i am the only one who knows for sure

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