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Thread: Almost 30 but this Girl is making me feel like 15 again

  1. #31
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    :)

    There's an update from yesterday:

    So I'm having coffee in the company's cafetaria and she walks in to take a cup of coffee. She chooses one of the machines available and i say to her "You should choose another machine, the coffee from that one is terrible". She goes away without reaction or response.

    Later, I go by her again and this happens:
    Me: "You're really destroying my ego with attitudes like the one you did today. :)"
    She: "What did I do? When did I do it? I'm confused!"
    ( I explain it )
    She: "Really? (laughing) That is soooo me. Please forgive me!"
    Me: "I don't know, I have to analyse your apologies..."
    ( she leaves without an answer ).

    What's going on here?? She left with a neutral reaction to what I said...

  2. #32
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Dude...

    You know what people respond to and appreciate? People who are interested in them. What you are displaying? It's a deep interest in yourself, and seeing if you can passive aggressively get her to be as into you as you are.

    Let's translate the above: First you say to her, without saying it, "Come have coffee with me because it'll make me happy!" Then you say, without saying it, "I'm really bummed you didn't have coffee with me." Understandably that left her a bit confused, so you explained it again, which roughly came out, "Me me me me me."

    And still she was flirtatious with you. And yet in response you said, again, "But what about me?!"

    Maybe try a new approach? Maybe ask her some questions about herself, her day, something, anything that isn't a naked attempt to get her to step up where you're too frightened to. She's just a person, not the answer to your dreams. Treat her as such and, who knows, maybe some version of those dreams becomes reality. Or maybe not.

    Still, better than all this, no?

  3. #33
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I really hope that just translated poorly. Because if you actually said that to her about destroying your ego with her attitude....big time cringe.

    The way to attract a young woman you like is NOT to criticize her or accuse her of having an "attitude".

  4. #34
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    I really hope that just translated poorly. Because if you actually said that to her about destroying your ego with her attitude....big time cringe.

    The way to attract a young woman you like is NOT to criticize her or accuse her of having an "attitude".
    I correct myself. I meant "behaviour"/"action" instead of "attitude". In my language it can bem used for both.

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  6. #35
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    The way to attract a young woman you like is NOT to criticize her or accuse her of having an "attitude".
    Oh, I don't know about that, there are a ton of women out there that would fall for such a line. It's called "negging" and so called pick up artists use it successfully a whole lot of times.

    I think the line that may have not gone over successfully in Op's case is the one about analyzing her apology. To me that sounds snobby and that he may have done better to just accept her "please forgive me" with the playful intent I believe she delivered it in. Now, perhaps the Op's "I don't know was delivered with the same intent but seeing as she didn't reply and just left tells me it didn't go over too well.

    Just keep talking to her *noname* she's interacting with you so continue on and see how things go.

  7. #36
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Oh, I don't know about that, there are a ton of women out there that would fall for such a line. It's called "negging" and so called pick up artists use it successfully a whole lot of times.

    I think the line that may have not gone over successfully in Op's case is the one about analyzing her apology. To me that sounds snobby and that he may have done better to just accept her "please forgive me" with the playful intent I believe she delivered it in. Now, perhaps the Op's "I don't know was delivered with the same intent but seeing as she didn't reply and just left tells me it didn't go over too well.

    Just keep talking to her *noname* she's interacting with you so continue on and see how things go.
    Omg... that whole "negging" thing is a total turn off to me. Guys thinning they're so clever, like putting me down is gonna make me swoon for them. GAG!

    This girl is being flirty and fun and you're all let me think about your behavior and apology. I can feel the eye roll from here....

    A cute thing to say would have been to say, no problem, maybe we'll catch up next time. Stick with me, I'll show you the good coffee maker.

  8. #37
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Lambert
    Omg... that whole "negging" thing is a total turn off to me. Guys thinning they're so clever, like putting me down is gonna make me swoon for them. GAG!
    Yes, I agree but there are women out there that it works on.

    This girl is being flirty and fun and you're all let me think about your behavior and apology. I can feel the eye roll from here....
    Yep, agree again.

    A cute thing to say would have been to say, no problem, maybe we'll catch up next time. Stick with me, I'll show you the good coffee maker.
    Ha! Good one. :)

  9. #38
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Yes, I agree but there are women out there that it works on.
    I TOTALLY AGREE! I used to be one of them.

    When i grew out of that, "I asked a guy, are you trying to be flirty or are you insulting me?"

    He was like --its called sarcasm.

    I was ummm no, if person can't tell, you're not really doing it right. lol.

  10. #39
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It sounds like she is coming in to work or the cafeteria at work because she works there. You on the other hand are treating this like a singles club and using trite lines to try to get attention. Stop harassing her before there is trouble at work. Why can't you find dates with women outside of work?
    Originally Posted by noname123
    :)

    She goes away without reaction or response.
    She left with a neutral reaction to what I said...

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