Jump to content

Almost 30 but this Girl is making me feel like 15 again


noname123

Recommended Posts

Hey everybody,

 

 

I decided to join this website and expose my current situation with this girl. I've been holding this information all by myself and decided to put it all here, in order to get some opinions and guidance. So here it goes:

 

I'm a 29 year old guy, working for this company for almost 5 years. On last November, this girl, 26 year old, started to work there and, from the moment I saw her, I felt like a teen all over again. I felt loads of attraction at first sight and I got the hint she noticed me too. So from then on, we use to cross by each other on an almost daily basis (at the mid afternoon break). I've noticed she looking at me, searching for me when we're on the same room, smiling at me, being nervous around me, sitting and pointing her feet at me (gosh, I sound like a creep...).

 

One day, I was on Instagram and I bumped into her profile. I was hesitant at first, but ultimately decided to follow her. She accepted the invitatiojn immediately and did the same with my profile. From then on, she started to watch every story and liking every pic I post (either the ones I'm alone or in group).

 

So this last Friday, something happened. I'm arriving at work and she comes out of a car parked right in front of me. We immediately locked eyes and start smiling. Heck, I think time stopped :) So we talked for a bit and she was extremely friendly.

 

On that same day, I posted another pic on Instagram and she liked it again. So I decided to chat with her, something like this:

Me:

- Thank you for all the likes. You're really boosting my influencer ego.

Her (almost immediately):

- Anything I can help with, just ring me (lol emoji)

- A kiss for you, have a nice weekend (shy emoji).

...

 

I know, we talked but, for some reason, she immediately ended the conversation. I was expecting it to last a bit longer, so I got really confused by this.

 

Today (Monday), we walked by each other again, noticed each other and that's it.

 

I'm really confused about this. I'm going completely bonkers (!) for this girl but I'm getting extremely cautious. We work in the same company (not on the same subjects/department) and I don't want to cause a fuss about this with my job and with our colleagues. But I really want to get to know her better.

 

What do you think about all this. All opinions are welcomed.

 

 

Thank you for reading and replying :)

Link to comment
Anything I can help with, just ring me (lol emoji)
Well if that isn't an invitation I don't know what is... Maybe she's waiting for you to ask her out???? Trying to get to know her over Insta is a crappy way to get to know someone.

- A kiss for you, have a nice weekend (shy emoji).
It could be a green light to let you know that she likes you.

 

Having said that: Its a slippery slope to be dating someone at work because if it doesn't pan out, or it does but it doesn't last, then you have to look at her everyday and it is, I'm sure, pretty hard to get over someone you are seeing everyday.

 

What is your company's policy on employees dating one another?

Link to comment

I agree with TwT on two fronts: one, seems she opened the door pretty clearly for you to ask her out; two, there is nothing lamer than trying to use social media to get to know someone or gauge anything beyond cursory interest. That's what tweens and teenagers do, which is why, well, you're feeling like a teenager.

 

So, assuming your company doesn't have any hard rules about employees dating, and assuming you can be mature enough to remain professional should things not work out, why not ask her out for a cup of coffee and glass of wine so you can get to know her away from likes and story views?

Link to comment
Well if that isn't an invitation I don't know what is... Maybe she's waiting for you to ask her out???? Trying to get to know her over Insta is a crappy way to get to know someone.

It could be a green light to let you know that she likes you.

 

Having said that: Its a slippery slope to be dating someone at work because if it doesn't pan out, or it does but it doesn't last, then you have to look at her everyday and it is, I'm sure, pretty hard to get over someone you are seeing everyday.

 

What is your company's policy on employees dating one another?

 

No policy. In fact, I know some people working there who met each other at the company and married, and are still work there.

Link to comment
I know, we talked but, for some reason, she immediately ended the conversation.

 

I didn't quite understand this part. I get that you're paraphrasing your exchange, but from what you offered it was you, not she, who ended the conversation. She said something, you did not reply, correct?

Link to comment

She's definitely flirting with you, and that is a sign of interest. I for one have a strict policy of not dating co-workers, and I've passed up more than one that I was very interested in for that reason. If it doesn't work out, you then set yourself up for loss on more than one level, and one of those levels involves your livelihood. If it were me, I'd pass on it, but that's me. Tread carefully. There are a lot of good women in the world that you don't have to go to work with everyday.

Link to comment
I thanked for the likes, she replied and said goodbye.

 

C'mon, buddy. She said "just ring me" and "a kiss for you," not a hard goodbye. Are you bummed that she didn't propose marriage or ask you out directly? Or are you someone who prefers the buzz of idle digital chitchat over seeing what's what in 3D?

 

The door is wide open if you want to ask her out. Thing is, you have to stand tall and walk through it. Yeah, I've got some years on you and cut my romantic teeth before smartphones were born, but I think even the most emoji-fluent among us prefer people who show some guts rather than hedge around.

Link to comment
But I really want to get to know her better.
Then if you're not against dating coworkers and you think you're confident enough to wear a smile should things not pan out between the two of you then start chatting her up at work when in the break room. (I don't recommend slacking off work to do your chatting). See how interested she ACTUALLY is in YOU and not just your Insta stories/pics.

 

Do you have the confidence to talk to her in person?

Link to comment

“- Thank you for all the likes. You're really boosting my influencer ego.

Her (almost immediately):

- Anything I can help with, just ring me (lol emoji)

- A kiss for you, have a nice weekend (shy emoji).

...”

 

I’m guessing English is not your first language? Correct me if I’m wrong?

But that dialogue sounds like a google translation or mis translation???

 

OP, you didn’t sit or converse with her on break so why did you come to the conclusion that she was pointing her feet at you??

 

How did you “bump” into her profile on Instagram??

Do you mean you searched for her profile?

 

Is it possible she’s just an online flirt? Check if other males at your work are on her Instagram because I’d be surprised if they aren’t at this point?

Because after in person she barely acknowledged you.

And I don’t think that’s because she is shy.

Link to comment
“- Thank you for all the likes. You're really boosting my influencer ego.

Her (almost immediately):

- Anything I can help with, just ring me (lol emoji)

- A kiss for you, have a nice weekend (shy emoji).

...”

 

I’m guessing English is not your first language? Correct me if I’m wrong?

But that dialogue sounds like a google translation or mis translation???

 

OP, you didn’t sit or converse with her on break so why did you come to the conclusion that she was pointing her feet at you??

 

How did you “bump” into her profile on Instagram??

Do you mean you searched for her profile?

 

Is it possible she’s just an online flirt? Check if other males at your work are on her Instagram because I’d be surprised if they aren’t at this point?

Because after in person she barely acknowledged you.

And I don’t think that’s because she is shy.

 

English is not my first language. But the dialogue has some native language expressions that are more difficult to translate.

 

I found her on Instagram due to some mutual connections (people from work who work directly with her).

 

Regarding the "feet pointing", there was one time that i was positioned like 235 degrees from where she was standing. She saw me walk in and turn those degrees to meet me and remained sitting like that.

Link to comment

You need to leave her alone and read up on your employers sexual harassment policies. Stop sending creepy messages. All that could be used against you. Go to work in order to work. The workplace is not a singles bar or dating app. Improve your life outside of work. Join some clubs, groups, sports, volunteer, get on some dating apps.

sitting and pointing her feet at me
Link to comment
You need to leave her alone and read up on your employers sexual harassment policies. Stop sending creepy messages. All that could be used against you. Go to work in order to work. The workplace is not a singles bar or dating app. Improve your life outside of work. Join some clubs, groups, sports, volunteer, get on some dating apps.

 

Kind of harsh, no? What could be used against me: a Instagram request and a message thanking her for the likes?

Link to comment

The point is she's there to earn a living not supply you with someone to crush on. Get more involved in life outside of work and leave female coworkers alone. Why aren't you on dating apps or meeting women?

What could be used against me: a Instagram request and a message thanking her for the likes?
Link to comment
English is not my first language. But the dialogue has some native language expressions that are more difficult to translate.

 

I found her on Instagram due to some mutual connections (people from work who work directly with her).

 

Regarding the "feet pointing", there was one time that i was positioned like 235 degrees from where she was standing. She saw me walk in and turn those degrees to meet me and remained sitting like that.

 

If you are okay with dating a coworker, although I truly believe it's not the best idea, then ask her out, don't spend too much time on Instagram liking her stories. Just a wild guess based on the messages, but are you guys French?

Link to comment

It is a risk to date in the company pool.... but if she isn't your subordinate or vice versa, then maybe take it slow...

 

ask her to meet for a coffee break.... there's no harm in a 15 minute coffee with someone in the office. start slow... see how it goes...

 

edited to add: try to remember you're 30, with a career etc... [emoji23]

Link to comment

I still don't get how she ended the conversation. You mean, because she wished you a nice weekend and you took that as "Goodbye, stop talking now."? If you didn't respond further, you actually sort of ended the conversation on a weird note and she might be feeling self conscious about putting herself out there and not receiving feedback. She pretty clearly made it known she's into you, but it sounds like you didn't respond to her advances. Of course, now she's hesitant to approach you further in person. If you are allowed to date at work, and you can handle any potential break up in a mature manner, ask her out for crying out loud :D

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...