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Thread: The lives of toxic / unfaithful / narcissistic people

  1. #11
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by tetraviper
    Nope, Iím not in the loop anymore... she hurt me enough times that the trust was dead.

    But I had a catch up with an old friend recently and the talk of how our circle (about 10 people) grew distant came up... and a lot had got to with what she did to everyone in the social circle... both boys and girls. We all used to hang out a lot; and her impact (scales drama) led different members to deal with it in different ways... some of us repeated the same mistakes that I did and let her in more times than once and others just distances themselves from her in any form possible and that included distancing themselves from the circle. She hurt a lot of people and probably still is.
    Tell all your friends to stop talking about her and the past. she will lead her life the way she likes. Not worth it to be honest.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    How is it you're still ruminating about what happened 4 years ago?

    Aren't you tired of ruminating? Don't you want to get on with your life?

  3. #13
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    We humans, were a vain species. Even the most selfless of humans, we are very vain beings.

    The concept of karma is an idea that brings comfort, but it defies logic. Think about it, if you believe in karma you believe someone else should suffer for wrongdoing, that means you will also suffer for any and all wrongdoing, and what about personal accountability, should we not ever have any and just do right out of fear?

    Also think about it, to believe an entity was in the universe ensuring individuals were punished for wrongdoing yet there is no entity to ensure say children didnít starve... what kind of world do we live in? Iíd HOPE that wasnít the case cause man... thatís pretty messed up...

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    We all hope the jerk who cut us off in traffic will get pulled over by the cop ahead. However it's just voodoo.👺

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  6. #15
    Silver Member kim42's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    We all hope the jerk who cut us off in traffic will get pulled over by the cop ahead. However it's just voodoo.👺
    You don't believe in voodoo, Wiseman?

  7. #16
    Silver Member kim42's Avatar
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    There was this friend in our expat group who would had some narcissistic features, she hurt a few of us, luckily I was more annoyed than hurt. We cut her off, she blocked us on Facebook, I mean we are all adult and not looking for some high school drama. We agreed on not talking too much about her, it's the past, I don't think about her either.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    I find everyone's comments about karma pretty intetesting. As its definition is somewhat subjective these days.

    OP, I'm assuming you mean it as -- what goes around comes around.

    I'm not sure if its correct to think someone hurting you, means they deserve something bad happening, to them, to repay them.

    We all have been hurt and we've all hurt others. As the hurt party, we see the other person as such a jerk or whatever, but what about when we break it off?

    There is no good way to end things. And as the hurt party, we might think, but I'd never do that to them!

    But the people we hurt, think of the same of us.

    SO YES! WHAT GOES AROUND DOES COME AROUND!

    We all struggle. Dumpers do not have perfect lives. Dumpees do find someone else and the cycle continues....

    Do we ever link the bad things that happen to us back to the bad things we've done? Maybe... who hasnt uttered the phrase "What did I do to deserve this? "

    But we never think, I dumped that person, so obviously I deserve to be dumped, too....

  9. #18
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    The idea of karmaóas in the actual idea in Hinduism and Buddhismóis that the sum of our actions in one life, and previous lives, dictate our fate in future lives. It is not not about vengeance and retribution, in other words, but about accountability, a guide to being good and learning to call yourself out when you're less than good.

    Unfortunately, like so much in the spiritual/psychological world, it has been reappropriated for more self-serving means. It takes, alas, a pretty narcissistic and toxic mentality to believe that our personal pain is so important that whoever or whatever caused it will be punished by the universe. Whether it is an ex who cheated on me, my father who walked out on my life when I was a teenager, or the cashier who was rude to me the other day, I would need to be pretty full of myself to believe they were now doomed to a life of pain for momentarily scratching the record of my personal soundtrack.

    The same teachings that create the idea of karma, it's worth remembering, are those that emphasize the universality of suffering: that being a human is being in pain, and learning to live with pain gracefully by minimizing our selves, becoming less absorbed by our selves. It's about finding strength in letting go, not in clinging to bitterness, as this idea of karma seems to be: a hall pass for bitterness.

    My few cents.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Bluecastle, thank you.

    It is pretty self centered to think "the universe" is obligated to punish someone for hurting us. That's making ourselves the center of the universe, which is actually kind of ridiculous.

    Living our best lives while being kind to others and forgiving ourselves for mistakes and bad choices is the way to be IMO. And not worrying about what others are getting that we think they don't deserve.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I've noticed that toxic individuals are lonely and insecure. Sure, they'll paint a popular picture of themselves to you socially. However, they're very mentally unstable. Their personal relationships are a train wreck.

    Life goes on and everyone goes their merry way. Often times, going your separate ways is healthy. Estrangement creates peace, actually.

    Carve out your own happiness. Keep yourself mentally and physically healthy as there is a strong sound body, sound mind connection. Associate with only very moral people who will influence you in the right direction always. Learn to enforce healthy boundaries. Navigate yourself wisely.

    Regarding karma, don't care about the fate of others. They're certainly not investing the same energy and thoughts into you, so why waste your time wondering if karma will eventually catch up with them? You need to get busy living your life to the fullest and then you'll forget about people who don't matter in your life. This happened to me and I hope it will happen to you, too. You'll realize you're too busy, content and tired to care anymore!

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