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He has blocked me after ending it...what do I do?


Harrietsuns

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We started dating 8 months ago.

He had got out of a serious relationship a few months earlier.

He told me he didn’t want serious.

We started dating and sleeping together.

I felt we were getting really close.

We had a weekend away and really got close,laughed constantly and I felt a change in him.

It was like he’s guard was coming down.

Then he backed away (he did this 5 months ago )and said I want to be friends,I can’t /don’t want a relationship.

I phoned him and he had a stinking attitude and we ended up arguing,he said now he decided he didn’t want even friendship.

I asked why he was being like this and I was hurt but he said he was done.

That was 3 weeks ago.

He remained on Facebook /Instagram /Snapchat /WhatsApp etc but I went no contact.

I didn’t text /call or even view he’s Snapchat story.

He was viewing mine and I could see he was putting things on his Snapchat (I didn’t click on but I could see) that were aimed at me.

Friday night I uploaded a pic of me going out with my friends (thinking he might think,she’s not bothered about me).

The following day he blocked me on WhatsApp and removed me from all social media.

I don’t understand what happened..we were getting close.

I wasn’t messaging him so why block me?

He has thousands of people on Facebook etc (including ex’s ) why delete me?

I have a football ticket belonging to him which in anger I said he wasn’t getting.

I’m going to post it.

Why has he did this?

I thought he was getting feelings

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Sorry to hear this. Was he on/off with his ex? Were you exclusive or were you both dating others. It would be best to block and delete him and all his people from all your messaging apps and social media. Try not to send backhanded cryptic messages hoping to make someone jealous or come back. Unfortunately if he's not interested he's not interested. Try to simplify all this by seeing and believing what is evident and in front of you rather than all the assumptions and trying to read into things this much. Don't play his games. Stop chasing men who don't want you.

 

Friday night I uploaded a pic of me going out with my friends (thinking he might think,she’s not bothered about me).

The following day he blocked me on WhatsApp and removed me from all social media.

I have a football ticket belonging to him which in anger I said he wasn’t getting.

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You need to let this go. Blocking is the right way to implement no contact on social media and he actually did you a favor. He told you he didn't want serious. His actions are another manifestation of just that. The million dollar question is how come you chose to sleep with him after such a disclaimer instead of running the other way.

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He was with her 5 years then split then got back together for two years.

He said he didn’t want a girlfriend after that disaster.

He was contradicting himself as he was texting /calling me every day.

We text over 3000 messages in two months.

I don’t understand why he didn’t want to be friends.

He didn’t block me on Facebook /Instagram.

He just deleted me.

He blocked me on WhatsApp (I wasn’t even messaging him )

I don’t understand why he didn’t want to just be friends.

Do i send him his ticket ?

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Ok he told you upfront it was simply fwb/casual. Take someone else to the game. Block and delete him. Next time don't get attached until you are bf/gf and exclusive. Number of texts/calls simply means wasting time. When someone tells you he doesn't want a gf believe him.

He said he didn’t want a girlfriend after that disaster.

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Sorry about this.

 

I think he became aware that what you want (serious) is not at all what he wants (not serious). Neither of those wants are better than the other, but they don't fit together in any way. Too much tension.

 

I'd say he blocked you because he understood, as you said, that your post out with friends was directed at him, aimed at manipulating him to think certain things about you (that you're not bothered when you clearly are). People don't like being manipulated.

 

I know this is hard, and hurts, but I think you're much better off having no more contact with him. You two just don't serve each other. Take some time to heal from this so you can connect with a man who wants what you want, and isn't carrying around a load of romantic damage from his past. Hanging out and having sex is fun, but it's limited. Hard lesson to learn, but a valuable one.

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He was with her 5 years then split then got back together for two years.

He said he didn’t want a girlfriend after that disaster.

He was contradicting himself as he was texting /calling me every day.

We text over 3000 messages in two months.

I don’t understand why he didn’t want to be friends.

He didn’t block me on Facebook /Instagram.

He just deleted me.

He blocked me on WhatsApp (I wasn’t even messaging him )

I don’t understand why he didn’t want to just be friends.

Do i send him his ticket ?

 

You understand just fine, you just don't want to accept it. He told you outright that he didn't want a relationship. When someone tells you that then you don't go ahead and sleep with them unless you know how to compartmentalize sex, lust and infatuation and can keep yourself from becoming emotionally attached. *Adding: You certainly don't do bonding rituals with them like going on holiday and sleeping the night which leads YOU to think he's changed his mind. Get with men that have an end dating goal in mind and leave the ones that are honest enough to tell you their truth if that trust isn't lining up with your own dating end goal.

 

He has deleted you because you bugged him about why "he was being like that" and that is when he told you he didn't want even friendship because going zero contact is how you allow someone to get over you and you allow yourself to stop allowing them to make you feel guilty. Its called having personal boundaries and a good sense of self-worth and self respect.

 

You only saw one another for 8 months (I wonder just how many times you were actually in his company) so view this as a disappointment in yourself for not listening to him when he said he didn't want a relationship and then forgive yourself for not looking out for your own best interests when you went forward with him knowing that he didn't want what you ultimately want.

 

Chalk it up as a dating lesson that will help you to be more dating savvy in the future. Educating ourselves is always a good thing. Stop worrying about why he deleted you and accept that he has because it's over. You'll heal much faster once you actually accept.

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At first I thought I could and would be happy being casual(whenever etc ) but then the more time I spent with him the more my feelings grew.

Stupid things like the morning just lying in bed watching movies,cuddling etc (I know it’s nothing much but to me I grew even more attached to him)

He spoke about us becoming more serious then backed off and changed his mind again.

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I think he's blocked you to make things easier for both of you. The relationship is over and he's chosen to eliminate the 'fake friendship' option which is sensible.

 

I wouldnt take it personal or give it or him too much thought just give yourself time to heal and move onto a more suitable partner.

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It doesn't matter why he's blocking you. You never understood him and you never will. You thought he was developing feelings. Nope. That was your hopeful mind. You thought his many texts meant he wanted something serious with you. Clearly, that wasn't the reason for his texts. You don't need to understand someone who will never be in your life again.

 

What you should be doing right now is learning from YOUR mistakes, and vowing never to repeat them for your own good. Take what a guy says at face value, and don't stick around hoping for change if he doesn't have the same dating goals as you. He said he didn't want serious. That means short term. He ended things in less than a year. If you had really listened to him and not put your spin on things, you could have predicted this would be the outcome.

 

The fact that he blocked you is a good thing. It will allow faster closure for you, because you're obviously not willing to let go of this non-existent relationship. It's wise not to be friends, because a new partner won't be comfortable with you being buddies with a guy you slept with.

 

If he bought the ticket, put it in his mailbox. If you bought it, it's up to you what you do with it. Sell it or give it to someone.

 

You're single, so take this time to relish your freedom. Enjoy time with girlfriends. Find a new hobby. Pamper yourself. Never make a man the reason for your happiness. It's best to find happiness solo, and then want to share your happiness with a companion. And keep a full life besides having a bf. That way, if the relationship ends, you still have a full life and a support system to recover a lot quicker. Take care.

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At first I thought I could and would be happy being casual(whenever etc ) but then the more time I spent with him the more my feelings grew.
Yes and that is a mistake that most people only learn after having suffered through the mistake of thinking they could handle it. You now know you can't so you will go forth all the more dating savvy and I'll assume you'll not be keeping men who just want a shag partner in your life.

 

Stupid things like the morning just lying in bed watching movies,cuddling etc (I know it’s nothing much but to me I grew even more attached to him)

Of course it did, you're only human. But, you don't do bonding rituals with someone who has told you "no relationship."

He spoke about us becoming more serious then backed off and changed his mind again.
Instead of listening to the words he tells you that he knows you want to hear. Look at his actions (or lack of them). He should have told you lets be exclusive and committed instead of SPEAKING about becoming more serious and then remaining with you in the status quo.

 

When they tell you they don't want a relationship then you tell them then we are just friends and friends don't **** one another. Get the confidence to do that and you won't find yourself with men who want it all with no obligation to be anything but your means to an orgasm.

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Unfortunately trying to turn a fwb situation into more often ends up with one person getting hurt. Date guys who want a relationship upfront and avoid excuses about exes.

At first I thought I could and would be happy being casual(whenever etc ) but then the more time I spent with him the more my feelings grew.
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I thought I could change he’s mind.
Well, now you know that sex doesn't garner you a relationship.

There were times I thought he was wanting more.
Ya, more of your emotional investment because its means better treatment for HIM. That still doesn't mean he wants to commit.

Telling me he was going to miss me etc
That doesn't mean he wants to commit... It just means he misses the attention from you (in any form that may take) or even your company. People can miss you without wanting you in their life past what they are currently getting.

It was just a total head mess.
Yes, to more people than not, casual sex with the non-committal is a head ****.

I wish I had played it different
Well, you've learned a lot from this so when you put yourself out there again, you'll not fall for the same type of guy... you'll quickly ditch them before you bond and move on quickly so you won't waste your time, your heart or the pleasure of your fine company on a dud.
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BTW: They say that people that continue on with someone that has clearly told them that they don't want a relationship are themselves, subconsciously not ready to be in a commitment so you may want to inner reflect on why you yourself aren't (actually) ready to be in anything serious yourself. Do that before you put yourself out there again so you clearly know what your dating goals are.

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I thought I could change he’s mind.

There were times I thought he was wanting more.

Telling me he was going to miss me etc

It was just a total head mess.

I wish I had played it different

This is why it is best to not give a relationship to someone who doesn't want one. You'll be hurt EVERY TIME.

 

Feelings and respect do not grow from being over nurtured. IDKY. Maybe its something in the person, they don't see what you see.

 

When someone says, I'm broken, I can't, I don't want... anything along those lines WALK AWAY. It is not you. Its them. Its not in them. There is nothing to do but find someone who does.

 

The dichotomy can not be bridged at that time. Any chance of anything coming of it in the future can only be from space and no compromise on the part of the pursuer. Not showing them what they are missing.... that does not work.

 

Wait for a man that doesnt do this. That comes to you openly and freely. Until then protect yourself by raising your standards. Sharing a bed and snuggles etc are intimate things that SHOULD be done bc of feelings, not to cause them. If a man cannot commit to you, you do not want to grow attached to him. That's why you walk.

 

The truth is, he blocked you because he wanted out of this situation. Whatever it was. I'm sorry. that hurts.... The little games, the cryptic posts, etc are all just a waste of time and energy for EVERYONE.

 

When you expect better and don't settle, you get better. And thats the truth.

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I honestly don’t think I could have been a better person to him than what I was.

I treated him well,was supportive,cared about him.

We got on well,had fun,lots in common.

He was attracted to me (he told me) me him.

I couldn’t of been any different but in the end that still wasn’t enough.

Nothing else I could have done.

I have to accept he didn’t want a relationship with me.

He’s happy for me not to be in his life...so I have to be happy he isn’t in mine.

I can’t sit and hope he changes his mind/misses me..it won’t happen.

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I honestly don’t think I could have been a better person to him than what I was.
What has that got to do with anything? As people, it is our job to be good at it.

I treated him well,was supportive,cared about him.
Yes, so?

We got on well,had fun,lots in common.
You also had sex. None of that means he wants to be committed... It just was the dynamic of this.

He was attracted to me (he told me) me him.
Yes it takes some form of attraction to want to have sex with someone.

I couldn’t of been any different but in the end that still wasn’t enough.
Of stop this train of thinking. It is what it was and now it isn't anymore. It was a short relationship that is now over. You were fine before you met him and you're still fine now that he's no longer in your life. In time, you won't give him another thought unless of course you keep thinking this way and then he'll haunt you for a long time. In fact, should he ever contact you again, you'll be stupid enough to fall into his arms in the exact same dynamic because you've talked yourself into be so upset that you'll need the relief of thinking that he "wants" you will prompt you to be that stupid..

I have to accept he didn’t want a relationship with me.
Well, ya... he did warn you of that so...

He’s happy for me not to be in his life...so I have to be happy he isn’t in mine.
forget the first part and focus on the second part of that ^^^ statement. Have the attitude that its his loss, certainly not yours.

I can’t sit and hope he changes his mind/misses me..it won’t happen.
Lets hope YOU don't fall back into this under the same terms (non-committal) if he does contact you. You'll be shredding your own heart if you do.
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Tho it's never intentional but he used you to heal from his last relationship. He was ok with casual, no strings attached sex, FWB or whatever you want to call it. As soon as it felt serious from you, he knew he had to let go very quickly. Guys are pretty black and white with their decisions. He wasn't interested in anything serious and meant it. You didn't listen, so it bit you in the a$$. He felt pretty bad, even guilty for letting you go, knowing how hurt you were, so he was checking in to see how you were doing. As soon as he saw you happily moved on. He felt confident to delete you from his life.

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